Is this the Face of a Women Who Received a Fecal Transplant from her Mom?

(CNN) -- After surviving a near-fatal car accident, Kaitlin Hunter found herself battling a devastating bacterial infection in her colon that also threatened her life...But "right when I got off the plane, I went to the hospital. I was having extremely bad stomach pain. A month later, we found out it was C. diff," Hunter said, using the abbreviation for the bacteria clostridium difficile...In spite of the antibiotics -- or possibly because of them -- C. diff infected her colon, causing severe stomach pain, diarrhea and vomiting...Increasingly, doctors are taking a different approach. Instead of continued assaults on bacteria, "fecal matter transplants" recolonize the colon with new bacteria from a healthy donor. "This is brand-new for most gastroenterologists," said Dr. Suku George, Hunter's treating physician. "We are very excited about this."..Hunter's mother "donated" one of her stools for the procedure. Next, the hospital lab carefully diluted it, and George pumped the foreign fecal matter right into Hunter's colon. The result ended Hunter's struggle with C. diff.

I don't know...I'm just shaking my head here with a cringe on my face...I don't think I could do it. I think I'd rather just deal with the tummy aches and cases of the shits and hope that the antibiotics took care of it at some point.

I mean, there's a reason "this is a brand-new" treatment...It's that most people are probably opposed to having someones SHIT pushed back up in their colon...that's typically a one way street my friend.

Not to mention the extremely awkward conversation with family members before, and after:

Before: "Mom, my stomach has been hurting real bad and I've had the squirts since June, I know this is weird, but can I have a cup of your poop? I'm going to have a doctor inject it up my ass, which will then cure my diarrhea...

*Quick Aside Here: I knew a kid in like, the third grade...nice Asian kid...He told me that one time he had a case of the farts so bad and it just wouldn't stop...you know what he told me he did? Stuck the leafy end of celery up there. Now, even as an impressionable third grader, I knew that was probably bogus...But even THAT seems more plausible than turkey basting my colon with someones shit. Ok, back to the dialogue. 


After: (family members coming to visit you in the hospital): "We're so glad you're feeling better, what did it, what turned it around for you?"

Patient: "Oh, well, my mom, she donated one of her logs to me and it saved my life."

Family: "Ok, well we just came by for a quick visit, we really have to be going, but so glad to see you're doing better..."

Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan Pep Rally: "Oh Sweet Jesus"

"Oh Sweet Jesus."

 Mitt, let's talk. You're not cut out for this. You never were. You've been campaigning for like, a decade, and not once have you gotten the call, and that's not changing this year either. Trust me. We all want a change, but you're not it. You're boring, you're a boring Morman. Your speeches are boring, your hair, that somehow has maintained the same color and shape over the last 10 years, is boring. You're not igniting anything, you're putting a damper on it. That's what you are...a political wet blanket...in fact that's what we're going to nickname you. Just use this clip as an example. A crowd was legitimately more excited for your running mate, you tried to change the tide, and crickets...The Wet Blanket did it again. You're such a wet blanket that I'd bet you could walk on stage sans trousers to your next pep rally, and it wouldn't be a scandal. All everyone would want to talk about his how boring your tighty-whiteys were. That's you in a nutshell Mitt. The Wet Blanket of the GOP...Putting out fires and dampening excitement wherever your magical hair takes you.

RIP NFL Replacement Ref's

Kinda sad actually, I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad as fuck that these guys are gone and the Patriots can resume stomping non-referee aided opponents, that part is awesome...But the real shame of it is I feel like we were finally just turning the corner from horrible Ed Hochuli jokes to half decent parodies and rants like this video. So close to comedy perfection, and now that's been yanked out from under us too. Fucking NFL, they can't get anything right these days.

Tennessee Frat Suspended after New Pledges Found Butt Chugging

CNN - Knoxville, Tennessee (CNN) -- Twelve students at the University of Tennessee have been cited for underage drinking, one for disorderly conduct, and a chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity suspended after a weekend incident involving alcohol enemas in which one student was hospitalized..."Upon extensive questioning, it is believed that members of the fraternity were using rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the bloodstream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver."

This is honestly what I've never understood about Frats...How bad at making friends do you have to be to need to join one of these things? Like honestly? Are you that much of a loser that the only chance in the next 4+ years of you finding a few friends to share an off-campus apartment with involves taking a bottle of Rubinoff Vodka up your ass through a rubber hose? Really? And I do realize that not all Frat's are this way, but the stereotype does exist for a reason...Chances are the frat is a bunch of upperclassmen who were losers four years ago and couldn't make friends on their own, now they're in charge of the frat, have the power, have a few friends and are picking on the younger losers just the same as they were a few years back. It makes no sense.

You know how you make friends in college? Hang out with your roommate and people in  your hallway, get a feel for who you get along with and share interests with, get drunk and do something funny yet stupid that you can all talk about the next day in the cafe, and then do the same thing the next weekend. Boom. Problem solved. And you didn't even have to insert anything in your anus. Win-Win.

Bill Maher and Pelosi's Daughter: #LoLTheSouth, A Documentary

Honestly starting to think that winning the Civil War was a huge mistake. And tossing "God back in the drivers seat of the economy?" Probably not the best idea...just judging by the economies of some of God's other strongholds.

Just Some Dude Enjoying the Hell Out of Dave Matthews and the Life Is Good Festival

Straight Jonesing!

I laugh, but I'm honestly jealous. I wish I loved anything as much as this guy apparently loves Ants Marching. Tripping Billies indeed.

 And just in case you can't make it out, that is a throw back Phillies jersey paired with a braided goatee. Boss look.


PS: My drunk Dave Matthews singing voice is fire, don't be fooled into thinking otherwise.

The Alt-Tab Would Like to Officially Welcome Back Professional NFL Referees

I'll be honest, I just woke up, checked out espn.com, and was shocked, SHOCKED, that I didn't see a headline saying Goodell and the Ref's reached an agreement over night. Because that clusterfuck right there, is just an absolute debacle.

The only thing, and I mean the Oonnly thing, that could possible explain that call is that the ref legitimately thought the Packers were the receiving team. That's it. No other explanation. He forgot which team was on offense, saw the Packers had come down with the ball, assumed he was the receiver and signaled for a touchdown. Probably went under the hood for the review, realized his mistake, but couldn't bear to be the biggest goose in NFL history so he just stuck with his guns, fucking guy. Don't bother trying to tell me otherwise, you can't seriously expect me to believe that a seemingly perfectly sane looking man, watching that replay, could come out with a stone face and tell me Seattle caught the ball for a touchdown. No way in hell.

So there's your explanation. The replacement ref's are so bad that they actually forgot which team was offense and which team was defense during the last play of Monday Night Football.

Happy Hipsters Begrudginly Supporting Capitalism Day!

It's Iphone release day! I can't wait to see all of your super dumb un-boxing videos as you all celebrate your uniqueness with the same exact phone as everyone else on earth! Congrats guys, all your hard work, your camping out since Monday, and your lack of a real full-time job has paid off, you now own the same phone literally 10's of millions of people will, only a few hours earlier than everyone else. Truly a special day.

And I would Have Guessed Paris Hilton Was One of the Gay's Most Eloquent Spokes People...

I remember you dude, you were on The Hills...now you're wearing Tutu's and dead behind the eyes...funny how that works...yes I watched The Hills...shut up. 

TMZ - Some of Paris Hilton's ex-boyfriends are so obviously gay ... it's shocking she hadn't heard of Grindr before her recent AIDS rant -- this according to the makers of the gay phone app. Grindr tweeted at Paris moments ago, writing, "Frankly, we're surprised that you hadn't heard about Grindr sooner, given some of the guys you date." Grindr then links to the above photo of Paris and her ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt from a 2009 costume party, where Doug is dressed like a fairy. (Okay, that's pretty funny.) You'll recall, Paris was speaking about Grindr when she said, "Gay guys are the horniest people in the world ... they're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS."

Putting aside the fact that Paris Hilton sounds like an 80's Coke-Whore Floozy, back when everyone assumed that AIDS was just a Male-on-Male Butt Sex disease...The line that really caught me was this:

 "Frankly, we're surprised that you hadn't heard about Grindr sooner, given some of the guys you date."

Is that allowed now? I always assumed that if I implied someone was gay in any kind of negative fashion (as this quote clearly does) that I'd be cast aside in society, tossed in the same group as white folks who toss around the N-word because there was a black kid in their 4th grade class that they traded lunches with once.

A spokes person from Big Gay needs to come down and weigh in on this, stat. It could be one of those cases where anyone that is gay can say it, and anyone that isn't cant, which I'm cool with, but if the gay humor barrier has just been broken I think some kind of public announcement should be made.