Happy Hipsters Begrudginly Supporting Capitalism Day!

It's Iphone release day! I can't wait to see all of your super dumb un-boxing videos as you all celebrate your uniqueness with the same exact phone as everyone else on earth! Congrats guys, all your hard work, your camping out since Monday, and your lack of a real full-time job has paid off, you now own the same phone literally 10's of millions of people will, only a few hours earlier than everyone else. Truly a special day.

How Awful is this Reinvented Bicycle, the Fliz?

Fox News - Yabba dabba doo...Without pedals or a seat, the “Fliz” as it’s called requires riders to strap into a harness and build up speed by running, with their head sticking out between the frame. If it sounds awkward, it’s because it probably is. “The prior aim of developing Fliz was to bring a completely new driving experience to everyone,” creators Tom Hambrock and Juri Spetter said on their website...To ride the Fliz -- or rather, have it ride you -- users build up speed, Flintstones-style, by running and then cruising with their feet resting by the rear wheel. While steep hills are tough for the Fliz and safety remains a concern, the designers insist that it shouldn’t be seen as a bicycle replacement, but rather a fresh option for urban environments. “We created a velocipede concept of healthy, ecological mobility in overcrowded urban space,” Hambrock and Spetter wrote.

For real? Let me ask you Krauts something, do we look like a bunch of idiots? I mean honestly, do we? This is less reinventing the bicycle and more sending it back to the stone age..Yabba Dabba Doo is right.

Lets put aside the fact that you are NEVER taking that thing up a hill, that one's obvious, lets ask, how the hell do you even get in it? I can't see any way I strap myself into that harness without a spotter. So now, after years of adult life being comfortable knowing that if nothing else, I know how to ride a bike by myself, I need to ask another able bodied adult to help me ride my bike? Like I'm some sort of 5 year old with my parents teaching me to ride without training wheels again? No thanks.

PS: I have to imagine you die the first time you mistakenly slip and fall. Your neck just snaps between those two bars.

Double PS: The Hipsters will LOVE this. Because they do look like a bunch of idiots.