Boston Area Snow Budgets Already Broke?

Pretty soon this is all local cities and towns will be able to afford.

Boston Globe - As forecasters predict between up to 10 inches of snow between this afternoon and tomorrow, Peabody has almost reached it's budget capacity for snow removal, the town's Department of Public Services director said. The city has spent all but $20,000 of the $540,000 budgeted for this winter's snow removal, said Robert Langley, Peabody's public services director. "We've had so much snow, we basically took up about a year's worth the budget," Langley said.

Look, I just don't get this. Who is running the budgets in the cities around here? And don't give me that crap about we've already had so much snow, its the same shit every year.  The only difference is cities and towns are running this story in January this year instead of a week or two into February.  Same story every year.

This is New England people.  You did grow up here right? Maybe you want to budget for more than 2 or 3 freaken snow storms?  Snow doesn't just stop falling because we're in a recession. It's almost as if the people running these budgets have no financial planning or accounting background at all. 

What makes it worse is that you know the Mayor of Boston is going to be on tv tonight urging all "non-essential" employees to stay home tomorrow (Menino included, guy has a hard enough time not falling down when its a dry sunny day, never mind throwing snow into the equation).  So cities and town are taking a double whack, paying for snow removal, and paying for all the lazy government workers to stay home sipping hot chocolate and watching Maury. 

Well here is an idea, instead of paying them to stay home, how about taking the days salary of anyone who doesn't show up and putting it towards the snow removal fund.  Still not mandatory for them to work, but don't pay them if they choose not to.  This is the real world and they're adults.  I went to college, got a good job in the private sector and I still have to work on snow days, I don't think its too much to expect the guy GED equivalency degree that works the toll booth to show up to work in the snow.  You're already vastly over paid and have a better retirement fund than I'll ever have, you can handle shoveling out your car and commuting to work. 

Social Media Creates Higher Work Productivity? Yea and Smoking Breaks Help Too

If you want to see the full sized graphic click on it

 Soshable - Do 54% of businesses have it wrong? The majority believe that allowing your employees to visit social media sites like Facebook and Twitter while at work will decrease productivity. Apparently, they’re absolutely wrong...Depending on which study you look at (and there are several that yield opposite conclusions) you can make a case for either side. We’re sticking with this one from SocialCast, probably because it looks really nice and the facts make sense. Before you dismiss it, think about it. If employees are allowed to relax a bit at work and stay on top of their social profiles, they time they spend doing work should increase in efficiency.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love if someone shared this with management at my job, but I don't think its 100% accurate.  

Of course workers are going to say they're more productive if you ask them.  We lie through our teeth all the time.  How could me spending even more time on the internet than I already do increase my productivity?  As of now I'm strictly on a 10 mins on, 10 mins off work schedule. If they allowed me access to Facebook all bets are off. I'd waste more time than your average smoker employee taking 12 breaks a day to work on their cancer development.

I'm productive and all, but there is no way I'm at my peak productiveness with all the browsing I do, and that's without Twitter and Facebook.  

I can't even imagine how much less work I'd get done if I didn't have to take a cover-ops style trip to the stair well or bathroom stall every time I wanted to tweet a new blog from my phone.  Its like a Bourne Supremacy drill, in and out in 3 minutes before anyone knows I'm gone. I think people are starting to get curious about who the guy is that occupies the stall but doesn't wipe or flush though...

Defendant Tells Judge and Jury to "Suck My Dick"

Village Voice - "With all due respect, and from the bottom of my heart, suck my dick!" That was the message convicted killer Zaire Paige had for Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Vincent Del Giudice yesterday afternoon as he was sentenced to four consecutive 25-to-life sentences that will keep him behind bars for at least 107 years.   "This whole trial, y'all been sucking' each other off. I'm sorry I didn't get my dick sucked," Paige said when Del Giudice asked him if he had any statement to make. "Whatever happened to y'all, it's bad," he said to the victims, who included a couple of women who were in the salon and were hit by stray gunfire. "But I don't feel sorry 'cause I didn't do it."

At least he said with all due respect though...

Wow, with apologies to "The Merchant of Death," I think we just found the new title holder for the biggest bad ass on earth title. 

And I kind of respect Zaire.  Not for murdering people, that wasn't a great choice, but for sticking to his guns (distasteful pun?).  Too often criminals go back on their hard line stance once they've been sentenced. Praying for forgiveness, promising to find a higher power, pleading for solitary confiment to avoid a life of sodomy.  Not Zaire. This guy is begging for a dick sucking.  I guess you can't blame him, sitting through the whole trial watching everyone else suck each other off, its enough to make anyone snap out of jealousy.

And yea, people usually sit silently through the victim statement, or offer apologies.  But I'd prefer Zaire's honesty.  If someone just murdered my relative I'd want to hold that hatred in my heart.  I don't want the responsibility of forgiving some ass hole because he's promised to find god.  Fuck that, I'd rather hate you for the despicable human being that you are.  Thank you Zaire, for a refreshing taste of  honesty, and for playing the role of the villain in a world full of pussies.

Pope Says Not Everyone Has Right to Be Married...Even Straight People

First action as Pope CEO, get him some business cards

Politicus USA - Making a speech on January 22, 2011 to the Roman Rota, which is the tribunal within the Vatican that decides marriage annulments, Pope Benedict XVI said that “no one can make a claim to the right to a nuptial ceremony.”  The problem, of course, is annulments, those little pronouncements that make a marriage as if it had never been. The Pope feels too many are being granted, especially in the United States (in 2006 the U.S. alone had more annulments than every other country combined). Therefore, priests must do a better job to make sure people are ready to be married and “qualified” I suppose one would say, for nuptials. 

Gee, you'd think during a time where Catholic church going numbers are dwindling by the day the Pope would be all about throwing religious parties and bringing his strays back to the flock, guess he's chosen to go a different route though. 

I'm pretty sure at this point the church needs to bring in a hired CEO consultant of sorts to help them out on the business end of things.  I'm no expert but I'm fairly certain insulting people and refusing to provide services is no way to endear yourself to potential customers, and that's really how this needs to be looked at. Churches are closing at a rapid pace, I'd think pushing marriage licenses on people would be the plan.  Collect for the marriage upfront and then collect on the back end for the annulment.  That's a nice guaranteed 50% cash flow based current divorce statistics. 

The church, by and large, is selling a service.  They're selling morality, inner peace, and entrance to heaven.  It may be taboo or outdated to say that, and maybe the church doesn't go around broadcasting this like it used to back in the days of tithing but it's still very  much the case.  You're always going to have a religious core to attend your services and spread your gospel, but you've lost the majority of the public who were just looking for a nice convenient way to ensure an eternity of bliss.  A few bucks in the collection plate, an envelope of cash for performing a few religious services (marriage included) and an eternity of ice cream, pizza and couch potato activities (yes I'm lazy even in heavenly fantasies).  

You want me back? Start charging an entrance fee (come on, too many people go and just conveniently pass the donation plate without dropping in their share, collect that fee up front), get some comfortable couches in there (who sits on wooden benches? what am I, Amish?)  Throw up a big screen in the back with a ticker scrolling random bible passages, made up statistics about heaven, and sports scores and you've got me back. 

Until then I'll continue to enjoy sleeping in on Sunday.

Ed Hardy Wine

Well this seems like a horrible marketing idea.  I mean, who is the target audience? Juice heads and douche bags don't drink wine, it's all goose and juice or Heinekens for those meat heads.  

And it's not like I'm in any rush to run out and buy this shit.  Sure I drink wine, and I do buy the cheap $9-$12 Yellow Tail stuff.  But I'm not about to compromise my morals and switch to this swill just to own a designer label, no thanks bro.  Plus, look at that price, $6.99? Has the shit even fermented yet? Or is it just grape juice with a mix of vodka?

So who does that leave? Chics?  Chics don't buy their own alcohol.  At least not the kind that would be into Ed Hardy designer wine.  They already spent all their money on trashy clothes, collagen inserts, pounds of makeup, and hair extensions.

Good luck Ed, I think those bottles will be on the shelf for a long time.

United States of Shame

If hysterical stereotypes are your kind of funny, you should check out Pleated-Jeans complete United States of Shame map and list.  Some of them are fairly obvious, Massachusetts has the worst drivers, NY has the worst daily commute, South Carolina leads the league in mobile homes, Nevada is the king of porn useage and Wisconsin is the Binge Drinking Capital of the world.  But once you get beyond the obvious there are some real gems.

Some of the my favorites include:

Colorado- Highest Per Capita of Cocaine use. What?  You could have given me 35 guesses as to which state had the highest useage rates of cocaine and I wouldn't have gotten to Colorado.  Thought CO was full of outdoorsmen and extreme sports fanatics, mixed with a healthy dose of "Life Is Beautiful" hippies.  Though I guess when you get right down to it, it's probably the easiest place to stash the booger sugar.  The authorities ever hassle anyone I'm sure you dump it right in the snow and the investigation is over.  Stuff blends right in.  

Louisiana - Gonorrhea. Yikes, crossing Louisiana off my list of places to go.  There is nothing worse than worrying that the toilet seat you're sitting on is going to give you a leaky dick.  Or wondering if the guy that held the bus handle before you had washed his hands (he's riding a bus, chances are he didn't).  

Washington- Beastiality.  Well I guess someone had to take the lead right?  My question is, is just a lot of man-dog loving, or are we talking farm animals too?

North Dakota- Ugliest state, which is probably why they all choose to live in isolation.

Texas and Maine - I'm not sure how they drew the line between fewest High school graduates and Dumbest state, but one thing seems painfully clear, bordering Mexico or Canada leads to poor education.  

Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia - My favorite three state run of unhealthiness.  Or as the map titles them, Obesity, Strokes, and "Most Sickly."  All those in favor of just giving the deep south to Haiti vote Aye.  AYE!

Late Start Today

Does CW need to crack the whip on his contributors?

Working from home today, not my usual punctual self. Even better I woke up to see that the Maestro's handing out free gambling advice on Twitter.  Not a big deal, he gives out gambling advice here too, the big deal is he actually won.  

Yea, I'm as outraged as all you are.  I see this tweet last night:

@Mazz33 

Unranked Marquette is laying 5 to 5th ranked UConn tonight. People are aware of this, right?

 Now I'm thinking, well that's ok,  maybe he's just sparing my readers another vicious bad beat...nope.  Uconn safely covered by 8. Great.

So that's what I'm dealing with, a gambling advice blogger that is like 1-5 in his published picks, and to my knowledge is like 12-2 on his unpublished that he tweets strangers and spam followers.  

How are we supposed to start an empire on that? Do I have to start cracking the whips? Have T-Shirts made up shaming him into blogging? Is running a blog really this complicated?