British Doctors Freeze Baby then Bring it Back To Life

Get ready buddy, they're bringing you back!

(NewsCore) - PETERBOROUGH, England -- A stillborn baby was brought back from the "dead" after doctors froze her body for three days, British media reported Thursday...This had restricted baby Ella's oxygen and blood supply, with doctors working for 25 minutes to revive her before they detected a heartbeat, Metro newspaper reported. With fears her brain would be damaged, Ella was taken to Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge, where her body temperature was lowered to below the level at which hypothermia occurs...The pioneering procedure protects against brain damage by forcing the organ to repair itself, according to The Sun. After three days, Ella's temperature was gradually returned to normal and the miracle tot was allowed home only eight days later.


Holy Shit, it's happened! They're going to bring back Ted Williams (well once they figure out how to reattach his head)!


This is it people, get excited, immortality for all.  Think of the possibilities, wake up with a brutal hangover on Saturday? Set yourself to freeze for like 3 hours until it passes.  Horrible case of the flu? Take a weeks cryogenic vacation, you won't miss a beat.  Got the HIV? Well, actually, you're still going to have to wait on that one, sorry.  But we can freeze you until we figure it out if you'd like.


My only qualm, why did they test this on a baby? I'd like to know this works on a full size human before I go personally testing it out.  You're telling me they couldn't find a homeless guy willing to volunteer for this for like $20k?  I saw a bum trying to sell used Iphone car chargers on the side of the road today, weirdest thing I've ever seen, pretty sure you could have offered that guy five grand and he would have jumped at the chance.  Plus they're homeless, they froze their asses off all winter, so they're used to it.  Less chance of negative side effects like hypothermia and frost bite bothering them, you'd think.

Man Who Went Solo and Flushed Osama Out of Pakistani Mountains Not Getting Enough Credit

The Poster of Osama that Faulkner used for Knife Taret Practice...I'm not making that up.

Denver Post - Gary Faulkner, Greeley's famed Osama bin Laden hunter, is overjoyed about the death of the terrorist leader and said it means he won't have to return to Pakistan. Last June, Faulkner was arrested in Pakistan, on a quest to hunt down and kill or capture bin Laden. He was armed with a pistol, sword and night-vision equipment when arrested in the mountains near Islamabad. It was in the foothills north of Islamabad where Navy Seals hit bin Laden's million-dollar compound Sunday and killed him..."I was in those mountains when I was arrested," Faulkner said at his Greeley apartment Monday. "I think maybe I flushed him down out of the mountains into the foothills."

You know who's just not getting enough credit for the Osama Bin Laden Kill?  This guy. This frigen guy did all the leg work, at least give him a shout on national TV or something.  Willingly spending his free time trapesing about the lonely mountains of Pakistan, just miles from Osama's final hideaway, hot on his heels with a pistol and a hunting knife.

The guy flushed bin Laden right out of his mountainous cave and into the warm hospitable palace he was found in.  I have to believe Osama caught wind of some American loon tracking his ass through the mountains and headed for safer shelter with the aid of the Pakistani government.  With out Gary Faulkner this monster may have never been caught, would have been content to just live out his days up in the safe altitude of the mountains.

Gary, you're a true American hero.

Congress Weighing Not Sending Further Aid to Pakistan. They Must've Noticed We're Getting Bent Over Finally

WASHINGTON — Congress may consider cutting the almost $1.3 billion in annual aid to Pakistan if it turns out the Islamabad government knew where Osama bin Laden was hiding, the head of the Senate Intelligence Committee said today...Incredulous lawmakers are pressing Pakistan for answers to two simple questions: What did its army and intelligence agents know of bin Laden’s whereabouts and when did they know it?...

"I think this tells us once again that, unfortunately, Pakistan at times is playing a double game," said Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, a Senate Armed Services Committee member who indicated that Congress could put limits on funds for Pakistan. But another GOP member of the panel dismissed that idea. "For those who want to cut off aid to Pakistan, I understand your frustration," said Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C. "But at the end of the day, if you want to create a failed state in Pakistan, one of the best things to do is sever relationships. It is not in our national security interest to let this one event destroy what is a difficult partnership but a partnership nonetheless."

We're really debating this? May dock Pakistan aid? How about absolutely will dock Pakistan aid until they come up with some god damn proof.  And who gives a damn how upset they are or aren't that we went in and did this on our own? Tough shit, tell you what, next time we find out you're harboring our number one fugitive we'll fill you in and we can make a joint take down, ok? Do you guys have Whitey over there too?  That would be a decent start.

The simple fact that these asshats complained about this should be immediate grounds to cut their funding.  Look, if we're going to have to do the work of taking down international terrorists within your own borders for you then what the hell are we funding you for?  Good luck explaining to your mountain dwelling citizens that they'll just have to hold out one more year for things like electricity and indoor plumbing because we are flat out not cutting that check this year. 

Sen. Graham can shove it as well.  Let that State fail like no other state has failed before.  Partnership my ass.  Partnership would imply that we're getting something out of this, like them telling us if the worlds most famous fucking terrorist has been living it up in the Magic Kingdom for 5 years.  The guy was so at ease he didn't even have a security force or body guards on campus.  We're getting shit out of this relationship as is, we're like the boyfriend who buys the fancy dinner and expensive bottle of wine over and over again but still goes home with blue balls each night because his girl doesn't put out.  That shit has got to end now, its not a good look for that loser boyfriend, and its certainly not a good look for America.

Kid Arrested for Skating In Mall and Playing with Fantasy Sword...Mugshot is Rather Surprising

Police said a sword-wielding Iowa City man fought with police officers in the Pedestrian Mall Friday afternoon. According to a criminal complaint, Deandre L. Irby, 19, of Iowa City, was observed skating through the Pedestrian Mall with a large sword attached to his backpack at 2:33 p.m. Police said the “fantasy sword” had a 26-inch blade...When officers caught up with Irby, he allegedly refused to identify himself or provide identification. Police said Irby also made an attempt to grab his sword. Police said they were forced to use their Tasers to subdue Irby when he tried to flee and fight with the officers. Irby told officers he did not have a concealed weapons permit to carry the sword. Irby was charged with going armed with a knife blade greater than 8 inches long, carrying firearms or weapons into a city park and interference with official acts. A phone number for Irby could not be found and he could not be reached for comment.

Someone must have mixed up the mugshots, right?  Black people don't skateboard or play with fantasy words...and they certainly don't go mixing it up with mall security guards for fun, that shit is strictly a white person hobby.  Blacks got enough problems with the real thing with actual cops hassling them and giving them the stink eye, they don't need to go teasing rent-a-cops for cheap fun with all that going on.  

And why on earth do you need a concealed weapons permit to carry a sword? How the hell can you conceal a sword?  Thing is the size of my leg, where am I going to hide that? 

Match the Evil Genius Terrorist to His Lair - A Fun Game for Kids of All Ages

Slate - On Sunday, American operatives found and killed Osama Bin Laden outside of Islamabad, Pakistan. Bin Laden, who was nearly cornered in the caves of Tora Bora in 2001, sought shelter indoors 10 years later. The terrorist leader was killed in the three-story compound he shared with family members and followers in the town of Abbottabad.summer resort. Bin Laden isn't the first infamous figure to seek shelter in a secluded lair. Think you know who went where? Test your knowledge of famous hide-outs with this interactive game. 

Awesome game, can't reccommend it enough for a quick 5-10 minute time kill.  Has everyone from Saddam to the Unabomber, to Pablo Escobar, a virtual Mount Rushmore of this centuries bad guys.

I personally got 6/9 correct. A solid, knowledgeable showing, without getting 100% correct and admitting that you're into some freaky, and quite frankly, probably dangerous shit.  I have to believe if you get them all correct you're autmatically entered on to some kind of terrorist or no-fly list?  Seems like if you're that up to date on all the criminal masterminds hideaways you're definitely prepping for your own.  Up to no good for sure.

Man Slaughters Neighbors Goat While in Drag and High on Bathsalts in West Virginia...Carry on.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- A West Virginia man found wearing women's underwear and standing over a goat's carcass told police he was high on bath salts. Mark L. Thompson of Alum Creek was arrested at his home Monday. A criminal complaint in Kanawha County Magistrate Court charges the 19-year-old with cruelty to animals. Sheriff's Deputy J.S. Shackelford says witnesses reported Thompson standing near a neighbor's pygmy goat in a bedroom. He was wearing a bra and female underwear. The goat had at least one stab wound. Cpl. Sean Snuffer says Thompson indicated he had been high and "wasn't in his right mind."

Look, everyone has the right to react in their own way to 9/11 and Osama's death.  This guy decided to celebrate a great day in American history by offering up an animal sacrifice while in drag, high as a kite after sniffing bath salts, and who are we to judge.  Sure he could have gone the traditional route, ran down to some drunk gathering of college kids waving flags, but he chose to do it in his own, quiet and simple way and I think we all owe it to him to respect  his privacy at a time like this.

In all seriousness though, the police realize they're in West Virginia, right? Isn't this sort of thing common place?