Does The Alt-Tab Need to Host a College Bowl Game?

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Serious question, can I just host a bowl game? It can't be more than filling out a few forms and picking up a couple additional sponsors, right? I mean the hardest part must be finding two teams that have got nothing going on this holiday season, because everyone, and I mean everyone, gets a bowl invite these days. It's like Tee-Ball when you're 5 or 6 years old now, every kid ends up with a trophy at the end of the season (even though as a 6 year old I could count and we clearly fucking won that game, I'm not bitter or anything). To be frank, if you're in the crowd for the Gilden New Mexico game sporting Temple v. Wyoming, and you're n ot the parent of some kid in the game, you seriously need to re-evaluate your life choices.  

But back to my first question, can anyone just host one these things? Like if I go down to say Everett town hall today, acquire the necessary permits to use their football stadium for the day, could I go out and get a couple of teams? Maybe pit two local schools against each other, like North Shore Community College against Bunker Hill? Or maybe two schools with defunct football programs, like Northeastern v. UMass Lowell? The schools could hold try outs, grab a playbook off line, and hold a few practices before their December 28th show down? 

This may sound like a pipe dream, and it may be a little too late to do it this year, but I'm going to seriously consider running this next year. I mean, its high time The Alt-Tab took its place along side legendary Bowl sponsors like the SD County Credit Union and the Famous Idaho Potato's. Borderline embarrassing that the NCAA hasn't approached me yet.

Larry King Announces He'd Like to Be Frozen at the Weirdest Dinner Party Ever.

(CNN) -- "I want to be frozen on the hope that they'll find whatever I died of and bring me back," Larry King told a shocked group of dinner guests gathered at his Beverly Hills home for a party hosted by him and his wife, Shawn. "CNN Presents: A Larry King Special: Dinner with the Kings" airs at 8 p.m. ET Sunday. No topic was off-limits when Conan O'Brien, Tyra Banks, Shaquille O'Neal, Seth MacFarlane, Jack Dorsey, Quincy Jones and Russell Brand discussed friendship, insecurities, success, worries, life, death and nearly everything in between. MacFarlane asked the CNN host whether he was "maybe a little obsessed with your own mortality, like I am?" "Oh, I fear death," King told the "Family Guy" creator. "My biggest fear is death, because I don't think I'm going anywhere. And since I don't think that, and I don't have a belief ... I'm married to someone who has the belief, so she knows she's going somewhere."

Weirdest fucking dinner party ever. Shaq, Tyra, Conan, Seth MacFarlane, Russell Brand, and Larry King all walk into a bar...make up your own joke from there...I'm genuinely interested in knowing what small talk Tyra Banks and Seth MacFarlane could have possibly shared, outside of comparisons of both of their ginormous foreheads.

But on to the main topic here, Larry King fearing death and wanting to be frozen so he could later be brought back to life...Hey Larry, I think the evidence is pretty clear here, death fears you,  not the other way around.  In a year where heavy weights like Andy Rooney, Heavy D, and the guy who invented the Family Circus cartoon all died, and your corpse is still ticking, I'd say we have pretty good proof that you're Unbreakable. You're like the real life Montgomery Burns, living of the blood off young children, sleeping during the day to avoid sunlight, shit like that.

Further more, if you took a poll of people under the age of 25, I'm willing to bet most of them would assume you'd already been frozen and thawed out once before. You're that freaking old. It wouldn't be hard to believe that we froze you for a few years back in say, 1995, and just thawed you out like 4 years ago. Hell, I'm talking myself into it right now, and I know it's not true.

Juvenile's "Back that Azz Up" Holds Up Really Well to the Test of Time

You can admit it, you got pretty excited when you heard those first few notes kick in, that familiar "awww yeaahhhh" feeling crept over you, maybe you hunched your shoulders forward, bent your knees ever so slightly, and got your crip walk on, or maybe that part was just me...But I'll guarantee you this, you didn't feel disappointed, and that's amazing. 

Now think about this, Back that Azz up is 13 years old! It's almost as old as 'tween sensation Lil Wayne was when he invented the phrase drop it like its hot, on this song as a 16 year old. That's how old this song is, it invented drop it like its hot. Snoop has lived off that phrase for the better part of a decade now, shit is amazing.  

I could never have imagined as a high school freshmen, that this band of hooligans, led by Mannie Fresh, Juvenile, and then "hot boy" lil wayne would revolutionize the rap game, but that's exactly what they did. Like yesterday, I heard this song on the radio and straight up got my swerve on in the car. Doing all the "white guy listening to rap" moves.  The weird hand signals, bobbing my head a little faster than the beat, reclined in the driver seat just a little bit (but remembered to adjust my mirrors, safety first folks), and just annihilated this song. If a song doesn't die from me creeping all over it on my way to pick up Texas Roadhouse To-Go, you know its got legs. Just an absolutely legendary song.


PS: what the hell ever happened to Juvenile and his ridiculous fronts?

The Greatest Cat Fight of All Time; Blake Lively V. Scarlett Johansson...Please, Get it On!

Fox News - It looks like an A-list cat fight has broken out between Scarlett Johansson and Blake Lively–and it’s all over Johansson’s hottie ex-husband, Ryan Reynolds. “Scarlett is pissed that he’s not under her spell anymore,” a source snitched to Us Weekly. “She realized what a great catch Ryan was.”

First of all, let me just say this, Ryan Reynolds is the LUCKIEST guy with a set of abs on earth. Let's just be clear about that. These two girls aren't after him for his acting chops, I like the guy, but he's no DiCaprio or anything, I mean he starred in Just Friends and Waiting, back to back.  This is a purely carnal thing, and good for him.

  Next up, can we just proclaim right here and now that this is absolutely the hottest girl fight of all time? I honestly feel they both owe the public a debt of gratitude and should put on an actual cat fight, no holds barred, on pay per view. I'm going to go out on a limb and say I could find 5-10 friends who'd be willing to chip in for the $1,000 viewing fee it would surely command. I think even a purist boxing fan would take Blake v. ScarJo over Pacquiao - Mayweather, that's how historic this fight would be. Come on ladies, make this happen.