Alt-Tabs of the Week

Chinaman Evicted from Giant Egg - A man in Beijing thought he had found his dream home when he moved into an egg-shaped hut, but unfortunately it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. After graduating from college and landing a job with an architectural design firm, 24-year-old Dai Haifei was having a hard time shelling out enough money each month to pay his rent. So he did what anyone would do when trying to cut costs -- he constructed an egg-shaped abode in the courtyard just outside his office


Spare me the sales pitch bro, you're homeless.  Yea you're living in a slightly nicer box but all that means is  you're more likely to be robbed  by your vagabond brethren. 


Tiger's Ex Moves On - Elin Nordegren, ex-wife of golf superstar Tiger Woods, is allegedly getting close to a handsome student at her Florida college, The Sun reported late Monday.


Bad news for the rest of the golf world, this is the official signal that its ok for Tiger to get back to nailing slutty porn queens and high priced hookers I mean personal assistants.  I'm expecting nothing short of a grand slam for Tiger this season.


$11 Million Christmas Tree Revealed in...The Middle East? - ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates – When they deck the halls in opulent Abu Dhabi, it comes with gold ornaments and gem-studded bows on a towering Christmas tree.  The $11 million symbol of the season has become the latest extravagance at the Emirates Palace hotel, which boasts its own marina, heliport and a vending machine that pops out small gold bars.


Well the terrorists have officially won.  Gaudy holiday celebrations and gigantic wastes of money used to be America's thing.  We're supposed to be the spoiled brat, the Dennis the Menace of the world.  How the hell can we let the Arabs beat us at our own game? Sad day in America.


American Man Gets Jail Time For Blasphemy - An Indonesian court has sentenced an American businessman to five months in jail for marching into a mosque during Islamic prayers and ripping cables from the loud speakers.


Jesus Christ, you can get jail time for that? Shit I blasphemed twice in one sentence in one of todays blogs.  Remind me to take Jakarta off my list of countries to visit.


More Countries Using Child Labor - Forced child labor is still a major problem plaguing the world’s markets. The U.S. Department of Labor just announced it has added six new products from a dozen new countries, 11 in Africa, to the list of countries that use child labor or forced child labor to produce goods for markets around the globe.


Hey thanks Department of Labor, but you didn't have to go globe trotting to find this information, could have ordered take out from your nearest Asian food establishment and snooped around in the kitchen.  Saw a 6 year old stuffing my crab rangoon last week.


Horse Injured in Highway Collision - A bumpy Interstate 495 bridge over the Merrimack River has claimed another animal trailer, and possibly an animal as well.  This morning about 9:15 a horse trailer crossed the bridge heading northbound near Exit 49/River Street. Because of bumps and poorly repaired bridge joints, the road surface has become uneven, creating hazardous conditions for trucks hauling trailers.

Headline drew you in didn't it? I hate misleading headlines.  I thought for sure this was going to be a story about some jackal who took his horse out for the morning commute down 495.  Irresponsible journalism at its worst.

Why Do We Insist On Adding "gate" to the Jets "Tripgate" Situation?

Ok I lied, I found a topic to rant on and couldn't resist. I've been waiting all week to see a story that added the -gate to the Jets sideline tripping controversy and I found it this morning:

FLORHAM PARK, N.J. -- Tripgate isn't over for the New York Jets, who could be subject to sanctions by the NFL for using inactive players in an illegal wall and publicly accusing the New England Patriots of the same tactic.

Can all media outlets please come to a resolution to stop adding the -gate suffix to anything remotely involving a scandal or controversy.  Its one of my biggets pet-peeves. 


Reporters and journalists are smart enough to understand that the word gate is in no way synonymous with scandal right? That it was only called Watergate because that was the name of the hotel complex where the events took place, they know this right?.  Its getting pretty frigen ridiculous how often -gate is attached to news stories.  I'm begging for a moratorium on this, begging. 


Each time I see -gate at the end of a word my blood pressure gets raised just a little bit, so if only for this  bloggers health this needs to stop.  You're professional writers for Christsakes, come up with something original instead of piggy backing on the same goddamned phrase thats been used for almost 40 years now, its so aggravating. 

Hungover like a M-F'er

Well I'm blatantly breaking Rule number 4 again, the annual post-Holiday Party tradition continues. Definitely not bringing my A game today (I'd be lucky to be graded out at a D right now).  I'm just going to rest here with my head on my hand and stare blankly to see if I can snap out of it.

You may get an Alt-Tabs Friday edidion, you may not.  It all depends on how much time I spend in the corporate bathroom later today.  I'd say its a 50/50 chance, though judging by how difficult of a time I'm having putting together coherent sentences right now those odds may shift.