Is This The Face of a Mass Man Arrested for Assault with Stolen Sausage Links?

BROCKTON — A Holbrook man was charged after police said he attacked and robbed a Brockton man using stolen sausage links and a wrench at West Street and Forest Avenue Sunday morning. The victim told police he was riding his bike about 8 a.m. Sunday when Michael A. Baker, whom he does not know, came up to him “and started swinging sausage links at him,” Lt. David Dickinson said Sunday. “He said he was trying to hit him with that. The victim had no idea why,” Dickinson said. Baker then threw stolen meat, bread and cheese he was carrying into a nearby barrel “and began smashing the victim with a wrench,” Dickinson said.

That's just piss poor criminaling by Michael Baker, piss poor. You go through all the trouble of robbing a sausage stand for some delicious sausages and cheese, and then, instead of gorging on your profits, you waste them in some sissy assault attempt, end up throwing them in the garbage (thereby rendering your previous robbery useless) and attack the man with a wrench that you had on you all along?

What the hell dude, how do you not go wrench from the start? Sausage links don't hurt, this aint Road Rash, those aint chain links...tighten your game up.

Also, general rule of thumb, robbing the guy riding the bike is generally pretty fruitless. He's riding a bike...if he had anything worth steal he'd probably own a car. 

Cleveland Outsourcing City Lawn Mowing to Goats?

CLEVELAND - The City of Cleveland is now testing goats as a more efficient and environmentally-friendly way to maintain a growing number of inner city vacant lots. The pilot program is called "Mow Goats," and it's being tested by the Stockyard-Clark-Fulton Development Office...Meister said nearly all northeast Ohio cities are being forced to take care of a growing number of vacant lots because of the housing crisis aftermath. The cost to mow such lots is going up dramatically. Meister claims it costs Cleveland an average of $300 just to mow and maintain the average vacant inner city lot.

So Cleveland now has enough abandoned overgrown lots that they literally can't afford to maintain them and are now importing goats to handle the grass cutting duties...Well congratulations Detroit! As of this morning you're no longer the most "3rd World-Like" city in America. Go nuts Detroiters!

Clevelanders...just another low point in a series of low points...probably blame this one on Lebron too.

Cue the extremely low budget Cleveland Board of Tourism Video:

I Knew I Recognized Justin Bieber from Somewhere Else!

All this time I've thought there was something just a little bit off, a little different about this "Justin Bieber," could help but get the feeling that I'd seen him elsewhere before...Well this picture just jogged my memory...No Belly Button for the Biebs? I've seen that before:

BIEBER IS KYLE XY, KYLE XY IS BIEBER...it all makes sense. Biebs isn't from some foreign land called Canada..that's just a  back story to throw us off the scent. Dude is a full fledged alien and we've finally got proof.


PS: There were three seasons of Kyle XY? People will watch anything.