Am I the Subject of Male on Male Sexual Harassment?

So here's the deal, there is this skeevy little perv man at work who everyone assumes (actually there's not much assumption going on it seems pretty obvious) plays for the other team.  Fine, no big deal, doesn't affect me.  The big deal is the increasing level of creepiness I'm receiving.  

Probably all started 6 months or so ago when we crossed paths at the building door and I was looked up and down like I was fresh meat walking into a gay bar.  At the time I didn't know if this guy just forgot he was at work, was oblivious to his surroundings, or simply liked the view that day.  I certainly didn't think this would be an ongoing issue.   

Since that day I think its safe to say I'm getting ogled in the office more each day than any chic in the building has to put up with.  Stopped being flattering a while ago.  I mean I've now taken the stairs a few time because I've seen him waiting for the elevator and after my last ride in there with him (with other people present thank god, didn't stop him from checking out the goods though) that's a level of uncomfortable that I just can't tolerate, and you should know I never take the stairs.  You should also know I've been seen several times with my sweetheart walking through the building, its common knowledge that I'm with someone in the office.  Does this stop him from walking by my cube and slowing down for a blatant peek into my cube (legit slow down, craning his neck so he can look in)? Nope.  Just goes right on with his business.  This guy is like the ultimate meathead of the gay community, like The Situation of gays.  Just treating every atmosphere like a pick-up scene. 

Its a truly odd situation to be in.  I'm not going to report it for obvious reasons (no one likes to complain, my word against his, hard to explain: "that guy over there stares at my junk") and I can't call him out personally on it because that would just be taken as homophobic.  What should I be doing?  

I've been strongly considering fighting fire with fire.  See if I can make him uncomfortable enough to just go away.  I could bend over to tie my shoe when I see him coming, maybe do a lunge or two in the lobby like I'm stretching, or bring out the big guns with the lean back to stretch my back and push my waist forward routine. 

I could also go the scrub route and just start wearing ratty old clothes, maybe a Wal-Mart outfit or two. I'm sure that would offend his gay sensibilities.

Would these work? Has anyone else dealt with this?

Bus Driver Plows Through Snowman, Forced to Resign?

I'm confused. Why did the driver resign again?  Unless he got back to the meeting and just blatantly told everyone that he never saw the snowman (presumably not the case, it was like a 6 foot snowman) I don't see what the big deal was.  

It's not even like they could make an argument that he didn't know if it was a person or a snowman.  Snowmen look nothing like people for reasons I've never understood.  I was legitimately confused the first time I had the cognizance to understand what my parents were up to when they told me the obese statue of three snow balls was a "man."  No, its three snow balls stacked together, I was in preschool with a wild imagination but this was still a stretch for me so I'm pretty sure this bus driver understood the difference. 

If anything this guy was just spreading Christmas cheer, giving the guys with the video tape a little thrill.  And Matt Lauer can cut the high and mighty routine there at the end.  The story has ended, three bored geeks with a video camera built a snowman on a quiet wintery street.  The bus obliged them and obliterated it.  End of story.

Building Hit Twice By Cars In Same Day

WICHITA, Kan. — Employees at a northeast Wichita chiropractic office are left shaking their heads after the building was hit twice Monday by two different cars. The first crash happened around 10:30 a.m. at Lakewood Chiropractic in the 2400 block of N. Woodlawn when an elderly woman pressed on her accelerator thinking it was the brake pedal. Her car went right through the front of the building. Employees say it's a miracle that no one was hurt, because the area is usually full of patients and receptionists. Then, around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, an elderly man, who also mistook his gas pedal for the brake, crashed into the building. That crash, however, resulted in much less damage, with only a busted window. No one, including the drivers of the vehicles, was injured in the crashes.

This was no "accident."  I'm not sure how they pulled it off but I think its pretty obvious the chiropractors some how manipulated these two "accidents." I don't know how, probably iced down the road in just the right places, but that's what happened.  What better way to drum up chiropractor business than to start manufacturing car accidents in your waiting room?  How else do you explain that no one was injured? Nurses and "doctors" were probably laying in wait around the corner for their prey, dragging them out back to the chiropractic table seconds after the accidents. 

In all seriousness though, does anyone else notice that no one is ever injured in these types of accidents? Cars into buildings and houses, buses plowing into anything and everything, the occasional plane crash into a house, and houses freakishly exploding out of no where.  How is it that no one is ever home or in the building when these things happen? Its not that I'm rooting for human tragedy, it just doesn't add up to me.  Everyday on the news you hear about pizza man slayings and school bus stop shootings, yet when catastrophe strikes no one ever seems to perish.