Friday, October 8, 2010

Alt-Tabs Friday Bonanza Edition

I’d like to give a special acknowledgment to all of my readers spread through out Eastern Asia.  I have no idea how they found me but my burgeoning blog empire seems to have planted roots in the Far East.

 
Spaghetti Tacos -“This combination seems to be inevitability, sort of like chocolate and peanut butter running into each other on that Reese’s commercial,” he said. “The amazement should be only that it took ‘iCarly’ to bring it into our melting pot of a culture. Spaghetti tacos has made it possible to eat spaghetti in your car, he said. It’s a very important technological development. You don’t even need a plate.”
This is amazing! I literally average 3.5-4 meals a week that consist of either some form of Spaghetti or Taco night.  It’s astounding that I’ve never put two and two together.  And it’s not like I’m not an experimental eater either, I’ve been pushing peanut butter and turkey sandwiches on anyone who will listen for years now, but some how this beautiful concoction flew right under my radar.

Boston Transit Authority Cracking Down -The MBTA is cracking down on fare evasion this week, stepping up efforts on the commuter rail, subway, and bus systems against passengers who attempt to slip through the turnstiles without paying or to sneak by with expired or counterfeit passes, transit officials said.
            Here’s an idea, instead of the MBTA bitching about being broke and defaulting on their debts why don’t they focus on collecting subway and bus fares every week?  I’d say on any given Green Line train during the day a good 10-20% of the riders hopped on for free.  Hell, all the stops don’t even have turnstiles. And don’t even get me started on the buses.  Granted I’ve only rode a few times but I’ve never been charged and I’ve seen entire families pay the boarding fee by simply shrugging their shoulders when asked to purchase a ticket.  Wouldn’t hurt to fire the hard working lazy asses that constantly ignore the alarm when it goes off because that would mean setting down their newspaper and getting out of their chair.


African man with 100 Wives Passes Away - Ancentus Akuku, a legendary Kenyan polygamist, passed away due to natural causes; he was in his late 90s. He first married in 1939, became a polygamist at 22 and married his last wife in 1992. He had more than 100 wives, and more than 200 children, each of whom he named personally. He had so many children that he set up two schools to educate them.
            All right I’ll throw out the obvious joke; Ancentus Akuku schooled more Africans than the United Negro College Fund!

NY Subway Transit Raises Price -While I feel for New Yorkers because of the hike I still have to assume that’s a bargain price for the entertainment they're provided.  If it’s anything like my orange line rides, littered with drunks, junkies, and obnoxious urban youths show casing their hip-hop skills then they have nothing to complain about.  And everyone knows all the great subway talent resides in New York.  For a blogger a $104 monthly pass would pay for itself in material

Massachusetts Wastes Money on Horse Bridge - (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - While hundreds of Massachusetts bridges are in need of serious repairs, one bridge is being replaced even though nothing heavier than a horse is expected to go over it. The span known as the horse bridge crosses over Route 24 in Randolph and is being rebuilt for $4.6 million, up from its original price tag of $2.6 million. It connects one portion of the 238-acre Blue Hills Reservation with another.
            Really? Do I even need to come up with snarky, pessimistic comments here or should common sense cover it? There is an election for Governor next week, any of the candidates looking for last minute campaign suggestions would do well to shed light on this project and promise to shut it down, immediately.  And what’s with this $2 million bump in price? What kind of estimate is that? Did the bridge all of a sudden double in size? Or did the wallets of a few local politicians?  I’m no expert but I’m sure I could call a bridge building company tomorrow and have a horse bridge/overpass built and completed by December for less than $50K.  This post was paid for by the CW for State Treasurer committee. 

London Takes Civilian Spying to a Whole New Level - LONDON (Reuters) – Anyone who owns a laptop computer can now fight crime from the safety of their home and win cash prizes for catching thieves red-handed, under a new British monitoring scheme that went live this week. The service works by employing an army of registered armchair snoopers who watch hours of CCTV footage from cameras in stores and high street venues across the country. Viewers can win up to 1,000 pounds ($1,600) in cash a month from Devon-based firm Internet Eyes, which distributes the streaming footage, when offenders are caught in the act.
Sign me up! Once you get past the whole blatant government intrusion of privacy can you imagine the fun to be had prank calling shop keepers alerting them to nonexistent shoplifters? If the Simpsons were still funny and/or relevant Bart would have had a field day with this news.

That’s all for today, have a great weekend.  If you like what you’ve been reading tell one friend to check it out, much appreciated. 
            -CW

Public Service Announcement


It seems the men in my office need a refresher on urinal etiquette.  Seriously, its been like working with a bunch of kindergartners, all trying to figure out how the whole bathroom scene works on their first day of school.  At a bare minimum I would have expected everyone to realize you shouldn't drop your pants at the urinal, but alas it seems we need to start from scratch, so here are a few common rules for urinal use.
  1. Don't drop your pants at the urinal.  Like I said, thought this one was pretty obvious. No one needs to turn the corner to see a grown man bare assed whizzing away.
  2. Proximity - Disturbing trend at my work is the urinal hugger, these people are just jamming their stuff and entire midsection into the outer rim of the urinal.  There's no avoiding the back splash at that this point, you might as well throw your shirt in the laundry while you're washing your hands.  A good rule of thumb is about 9 inches back (assuming your bathroom has the dividers between urinals). Any further and you're risking shoe splatter.
  3. Eye contact- This should be pretty straight forward, literally.  This isn't much of an issue at my office, not many wandering eyes, bad for careers.  Head straight down isn't the most natural look either, its uncomfortable knowing the dude next to you is inspecting himself for infections from the past weekend.
  4. Finally, flush the toilet.  It's disgusting and germ-a-phobia is no excuse.  You wash your hands on the way out, the half second touch it takes to flush the toilet isn't going to result in you catching a whole new brand of AIDS or hep.  No one wants to walk in and deal with your stagnant and unnaturally dark colored piss (you may want to focus on hydration as well).
UPDATE: It's been brought to my attention that I've overlooked one extremely important rule in urinal use.  Urinal Selection.  General rule of thumb go for the most elbow room possible.  If there are 3 urinals and all are empty you take the one to the left or right.  If you take the middle you're opening yourself up to some serious questions.  If you blatantly choose the urinal next to someone despite other openings without neighbors then that person has every right to kick your ass if in the proper setting (bars, ball games, city toilets etc...)

Media Darling/Big Weirdo Creep

So the Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger rumors are back (here if you haven't been following), with Deadspin claiming to have copies of the alleged sexts of Brett's manhood to prove it (I didn't check it out, but I can only assume it has Tom Jacksons lips attached to it).  As big as that news is on its own (or not big? maybe someone that saw the pics can comment) Brett made even bigger news today when he ducked the media on questions pertaining to the issue.

If you recall, Deadspin.com made allegations prior to this season that Brett Favre may have sent Jenn Sterger adulterous photos of himself and left questionable phone messages for her.
Sterger is a former contractor of the New York Jets and was working closely with the team as a sideline reporter when Favre was their quarterback.  Until today, Deadspin had not put forth any evidence to back up Sterger’s claims, but they have now posted some messages and photos.
“I’m not getting into that. I’ve got my hands full with the Jets,” was the only statement Favre made on the matter when it came up at his press conference today.

This is a man who basically invites the media to set up camp outside his Mississippi home each summer to watch him ride around on his lawn mower in his famous Wrangler jeans while he "decides" whether or not he's going to play one more season.  This is the man who ruined Sportscenter for myself and countless other sports fans, doing more to push the network further into the depths of Entertainment news than Barry Bonds, Tonya Harding, Lebron James, Roger Clemens and OJ Simpson combined.  
So on behalf of all sports fans, tired of their July and August sports news being hijacked season after season, we sincerely thank you Jenn Sterger.  You've done the impossible. You manged to get Favre to back away from the limelight.  The sports world is now a better place because of you.

PS. This blog is dedicated to AJ, one of the most devoted Favre haters of his generation. Happy Birthday AJ.