Wild Hogs 2...The Travolta Happy Endings Saga Continues

Fox News - According to the lawyer representing two masseurs in a sex assault case against actor John Travolta, the publicity surrounding this week's court filing has caused more potential accusers to come out of the woodwork. "By the time this case is over, [John Travolta's lawyer] Marty Singer will have to accuse more than 100 men of lying, because I have been contacted by people, mostly men, that have first hand information about similar behavior on John Travolta's part to that contained in the lawsuits I have already filed against him."

Come on John...they have descriptions of your dick...descriptions no one would just make up.  No one would make up "wirey and unkempt," unless it's true, or they're blatantly going for laughs and baiting bloggers such as myself...But if you're going for millions in a lawsuit that you completely fabricated, you'd play it safe and keep the specific descriptions to a minimum. 

If this wasn't true your lawyer should just get up there and pull a Johnny Cochran with "If his pubes aren't unkempt, their case is exempt." You'd be golden. I mean, that's going to be the smoking gun in this case, if all these massuers give the same description of little Danny Zuko, well you're going to be in some trouble.

I mean yea you just proved that you weren't in LA on that specifc day, but isn't it possible the male masseuse who's shaft you allegedly groped just messed up the date? We're talking about a date a few months ago, if he's off by a day or so it wouldn't really shock anyone...bad lawyering by the plaintiff's side, shouldn't have allowed erroneous dates to be thrown about, but still not that shocking.  I couldn't tell you what I was doing two weekends ago, nevermind some random day back in January. 

PS: This has the potential to be one of the more outrageous stories in internet history if literally hundreds, or even close to hundreds, come out on this. Just tales of Travolta attempting to sweet talk masseuse after masseuse while giving himself happy endings. And entire cottage industry of tumblr's, fake twitter handles, and blog material, all supported by one mans love of a reverse rub&tug.

And Here's Giuliana Rancic Looking Like an Alien Life Form

ET City!...Like Extra-Terrestrial, not Entertainment Tonight or whatever show it is/was that you host that you became a mild pseudo celebrity for.  

You think Giuliana wakes up every morning and pricks her Maria Menounos voodoo doll? She must right? Maria made the seemless transition from host of various events and entertainment shows to actual celebrity fairly seemlessly, not so much for Giuliana...Yea I'm pretty sure she's got some reality show on Bravo or something, but no-one has ever confused someone on Bravo with an actual celebrity. 

And I'm sure she'll never admit to it, probably does the fake cheek-kiss girl thing whenever they see eachother in the streets or at events, maybe even has a nice cover story from years back, when they were both taking "How to make it as a skinny-chic Hollywood reporter" classes, something about late nights doing homework and that one time in the hot tub, maybe...whatever the case, point is, deep down, she has to hate her. Has to. She has her dream career path...and she doesn't look like a Michael Bay CGI creature, either.

Cris Carter Casually Talking Bounties is About the Last thing the NFL Needs

ESPN - Former Minnesota Vikings All-Pro receiver Cris Carter says he put "bounties" on opposing players as a form of protection during his 16-year NFL career. Carter, currently an ESPN NFL analyst, said Tuesday night on "Hill and Schlereth" on ESPN Radio that he would offer money to teammates to take out players he thought were trying to take him out. "I'm guilty of (bounties) -- I mean, first time I've ever admitted it -- but I put a bounty on guys before," Carter told show hosts Mike Hill and Mark Schlereth. "I put bounties on guys. If a guy tries to take me out, a guy takes a cheap shot on me? I put a bounty on him right now!" When asked whether the bounties carried financial incentive, Carter said: "Absolutely." Carter clarified his comments Wednesday morning in an appearance on ESPN's "SportsCenter," emphasizing that there was no intent to injure an opponent -- as the NFL alleges was the case in the Saints' "pay for pain" system. Carter acknowledged that using the term "bounty" may have been a poor choice of words on his part. "The difference is people going out of their way to hurt a player," Carter said Wednesday, "hitting a spot that we as players know is off limits, like his knees. You're not telling them to go out and get someone, you're telling them to protect you, run down the field to protect their skill guys." The 46-year-old spoke of former Pro Bowl linebacker Bill Romanowski, then with the Denver Broncos, threatening to hurt him in pregame warm-ups. "Bill Romanowski -- he told me he was going to take me out before the game, warm-ups. No problem. (He said,) 'I'm gonna end your career, Carter.' No problem. "I put a little change on his head before the game. Protect myself. Protect my family. That's the league that I grew up in," Carter said.

Cut to Roger Goodell Shaking his Damn Head (or SMH'ing as weird internet people say). 

This is about the last thing he needs right now. The admittance from a former player, a prominent player at that, that this was a much more common and casual practice than the league would like to admit. 

The thing with the Saints is, it was a institutionalized system. That's easy to penalize, that's easy for the league to point to, come up with rules and punishments, and say they've erradicated it, that there's no place for it in football. 

This is a lot more difficult. This is a player saying, game to game, play to play, players place bounties, or as Cris is now saying, buy protection, for themselves against opposing players by paying for big hits. Unless you're mic'ing up all 22 players on the field and have the sidelines completely wired for sound, you're not solving that problem. 

And this is where the contrarian points out that the players already pay fines for violent or illegal hits...big whoop. James Harrison, who I'm pretty sure was the most fined player in football last year, was only fined a total of  $125,000...Cole Hamels, punk move aside, only plunked a 19 year old with a baseball and was just suspended five games which amounts to roughly $460,000 in game checks...So, you tell me which league is serious about protecting its players?

Big hits, violent plays, it's all a part of football, and apparently, if you believe Cris Carter, paying your teammates for protection like it's La Cosa Nostra is too. You're not going to be able to police that unless you see some blatantly illegal hits, and even then the league has proven they just don't have the power to give those penalties any real bite. 

At the end of the day Goodell and the rest of the Commish's office would have loved to have brought the iron fist down on the Saints, pointed to their effort to clean up the game, and swept the rest of this shit under the rug...doesn't look like that's going to happen. 

Gangsta Canada Goose Continuously Attacks Man

This Canada Goose can play for me any day...I may not think much of the rest of Canada, what with your Mounted, unarmed Police, but this Goose is straight Ruthless. Had no idea geese were so agile, that thing bobbed and weaved with the best of them.

By far the best part was when the woman comes onto screen and you realize this goddamn water fowl was holding her purse hostage that whole time, could've been for hours for all we know.

I'll tell you what this guy's mistake was though, trying to swat and stomp the thing. That's not how you defeat a goose. My grandparents babysat me as a kid, and needless to say I fed a lot of geese a lot of bread. Saw my fair share of flair ups, I observed and diligently banked that information for future use. My conclusion: You go for the neck and you grab it. Swat at these things all you want, you're probably going to miss. But you grab the neck, the ugly duckling is tapping out immediately. There's just no recourse. It's not like they have sharp bills, their feat are webbed so you're not worrying about talons, and if you get up high enough on their neck they can't even nibble you with those dull teeth of theirs. It's a fool proof move. 

Unfortunately this guy didn't know that and probably spent the hours of 6pm-8pm curled up in the fetus position in a scalding hot shower. The lesson? Ignore those signs demanding you not feed the birds, you might just learn something.