Breaking News: That Quasi Hippy English Major Won't Make as Much Money as the Nerdy Civil Engineer

MSNBC - The choice of undergraduate major in college is strongly tied to a student's future earnings, with the highest-paying majors providing salaries of about 300 percent more than the lowest-paying, according to a study released Tuesday. College graduates overall make 84 percent more over a lifetime than those with only high school diplomas, the study said. But further analysis of 171 majors shows that various undergraduate majors can lead to significantly different median wages. Petroleum engineering majors make about $120,000 a year, compared with $29,000 annually for counseling psychology majors, researchers found. Math and computer science majors earn $98,000 in salary while early childhood education majors get paid about $36,000. "It's important that you go to college and get a (bachelor's degree), but it's almost three to four times more important what you take," said Anthony Carnevale, director of Georgetown's Center on Education and the Workforce.

Kinda wish someone broke out these charts and graphs back when CW was a little tike, making his college major choices, but alas, I’m making due with my lot in life, middle manager by day, blogger by night for roughly 70 cents a day.

I mean if anyone ever told me that my PSC major wouldn’t have been worth the paper it was written on without a further law or masters degree and I’d end up middle managing people and slaving away over numbers and excel sheets, well I’d probably have just majored in math or some shit so at least my career path would make sense.  But alas, I listened to Guidance counselors and followed my interests…idiot.

Couple facts from the article:

-"The most popular major group is business, accounting for 25 percent of all students. The least popular are industrial arts and agriculture, with 1.6 percent each." – For kids who are intersted in business, and kids who don’t know what else to take. Facts are facts. I knew dozens of business majors in college, they all thought they were so important and prepared going to all these “presentations and group projects” I’m fairly certain I make more than most of them these days, in their field.  Make of it what you will.

-"Law and public policy has the highest concentration of African-Americans (14 percent)" – Obama must have pushed them over the top?

-"Fields with virtually no unemployment: geological and geophysical engineering, military technologies, pharmacology and school student counseling…"- Huh? Student counseling? This is outright confusing.  Don’t middle schools have like 1 per 600 sutdents or so? And maybe 1 more in highschool?  And what is their job anyway, to blow smoke up kids asses about the future and achieving anything you believe in?  You see Johnny over there with the gauged ears and purple hair, he’s going to be cleaning up shit in the bathroom at McDonald's or joining the military.  That’s it. Those are his choices.  Stop lying to kids for job security. 

-"Fields with the highest unemployment, ranging from 16 percent to 11 percent: social psychology, nuclear engineering, and educational administration and supervision." -  I wonder if the Japanese thing has anything to do with nuclear engineering being on this list?

India Bans Axe TV Commercials Due to Woman Lustily Chasing Men Wearing Deodorant

You're telling me this commute wouldn't be a little more tolerable with deodorant?

BBC - Television channels in India have been ordered not to broadcast "overtly sexual" deodorant adverts that use female models in racy story lines.  "The ads brim with messages aimed at tickling libidinous male instincts," India's information ministry said in a statement. The ministry said that the adverts offended "good taste and decency" and appeared "indecent, vulgar and suggestive" by subtly sending a message that the products "arouse women's sexuality". It said that they portrayed women as "lustily hankering after men under the influence of such deodorants".

Sounds like someone in the Indian government has a serious case of BO.

Seriously what other reason could you have for banning these commercials?  What I'm about to say may be stereotyping (ok it definitely is), but generally speaking, people from India, well, they stink.  Like they smell bad.  And it's not always just the smell of curry.  I mean its a foul BO.  I really don't want to be rude, but the odor can be quite offensive. Not all Indians, but enough for me to be sitting here stereotyping ya'll. 

So really, is an advertising campaign aimed to getting men to clean themselves and practice proper hygiene such a bad thing?  And if you score some strange Punjabi Poon out of the deal, isn't that just a bonus?

Cheerleaders Suspended After Hazing Incident Involving Hot Dogs

EVERETT, Wash. -- The Everett School District has suspended cheerleaders they believe were conducting initiation rituals in violation the district's athletic code. Sources say some of the older cheerleaders on the Jackson High School squad made the new members wear diapers, then shot them with squirt guns and hit them with hot dogs. A mother of an accused cheerleader said the alleged hazing happened inside her home in Bothell. The school district suspended several cheerleaders, saying they violated the athletic code of conduct which prohibits hazing.

You have to watch the video to get the full impact of this story, and to meet the star of this news broadcast, Sebastin Mejia, a young man with his head on straight.  Witness his beautifully simple logic, founded in common sense:

"I just heard they got hit by sausages (smirking)...I thought it was pretty harmless, I mean no one has died from getting hit in the face with a sausage...So I thought the punishment didn't fit the crime."

Amen Sebastin, with that line of thinking you'll always have an open door here at the Tab, assuming blogging for free on as established, yet tiny blog is your sort of thing.  

I mean the whole thing sounds fairly innocent to be honest...I mean what can you do with a hot dog?  They're so damn flimsy, soon as you go to slap someone with it its going to snap...and it's not like they had teenage boys over there watching the girls get hosed down with the squirt guns like some kinda wet t-shirt contest.  All in all it sounds pretty much exactly what teenage CW assumed went on at girls' slumber parties, just lacking the pillow fight.

China Forces Prisoners to Play World of Warcraft

Fox News - A former prisoner of a Chinese labor camp claims guards are forcing detainees to play online games as part of a huge money-making scam. Liu Dali told The Guardian website that guards traded the credits inmates built up playing games such as World of Warcraft for money.  "Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labor," he said. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5000-6000rmb a day. "We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."  He said he would spend his days either breaking rocks or assembling car seat covers and his nights playing computer games. Dali said that if he didn't complete his credit quota, the guards would punish him: "They would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things." The building up and trading of game credits is known as gold farming. Millions of gamers around the world pay real money for the credits in order to save hours of playing time. Gold farming is rampant in China and other developing nations. Many Chinese gamers have full-time jobs as gold farmers but The Guardian story highlights the first time it has been practiced in labor camps. 

Am I the only one that thinks this is awesome? I mean aside from 1000's of nerdy teenagers who are rushing over to China to commit felonies right now?

The prisoner complaining about not seeing any of the money has a lot of nerve huh? Hey buddy, you're a convict, of course you're not getting paid to play video games. I've never played World of Warcraft before in my life (because I'm not a loser) but even I know crushing teenage nerds and trash talking online is a better way to serve time than toiling splitting rocks for absolutely no purpose.  And it definitely beats the American alternative of anal rape...

China may be on to something here.  I have to believe our judicial system's the costly appeals process would see a lot less traffic if everyone knew they were just going to prison to tool around on the computer for 16 hours a day.  That's what con's call "easy time."   Hell it almost sounds like vacation to me.  I'd rather be in Chinese prison than my cube pouring over excel sheets stressed as fuck any day of the week.

UPDATE: Now With Video. My contention still stands, playing video games, even under duress, seems like easy time. Thanks to Newsy for the video.

pp

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Dr Jack: Zack Morris Attorney at Law?

There are few things my generation can all agree on. I’m sure that can be said about most generations, but I feel like now a days everyone loves to play the devil’s advocate and there are only a select amount of universally loved things. I do think it’s safe to say the protagonist of the teen sitcom “Saved by the Bell” is one of them though. Zack Morris is an icon and it’s been both a blessing and a curse for the actor who portrayed him, Mark-Paul Gosselaar.

The sad fact is this, MPG is Zack Morris. Just like Mark Hamill is Luke Skywalker and Jaleel White is Steve Urkel. This happens all the time. James Van Der Beek is so deeply associated with Dawson Leary that in the upcoming ABC pilot “Apartment 23” he’s playing James Van Der Beek! It’s difficult to sympathize with these guys when they’ve undoubtedly seen large profits from their past success. However, it’s also easy to relate to someone not being able to advance in their career because they’re always viewed as set in one role.

After “Saved by the Bell” MPG dyed his hair brown and sought out dramatic roles to help further distance himself from his teen idol past. He played a detective on the last few seasons of “NYPD Blue” and grew his hair long for two seasons of the TNT drama “Raising the Bar” to look even less like Zack Morris. He made other television and film appearances, but the only dramatic role I enjoyed was in the made-for-tv movie “Dying to Belong” with Hilary Swank. Swank’s roommate was killed in a sorority pledging accident or something, and MPG played the love interest (his character’s name was Steven Tyler, ugh). One exception to his dramatic roles was the underrated “Dead Man on Campus”. Say what you will, but I enjoyed this movie a lot and while it wasn’t exactly watching Zack Morris Goes To College (or an R-Rated “Saved by the Bell: The College Years) it was damn close. MPG thrived in the role and displayed the gift he has of turning the constant schemer into someone exceedingly likeable and charming.

Now it appears things have changed for MPG. Maybe it’s the acceptance of his role in pop culture, maybe he realizes shows with comedic tones are more up his alley, or hell, maybe he just needs the money. Whatever it is, it seems like we’re about to be given a glimpse of what Zack Morris grew up to be.

MPG plays lawyer Steven Bash in the upcoming “Franklin and Bash” on TNT. Now just by judging the trailers and what it says on TNT.com, Bash and partner Jared Franklin are two unorthodox ambulance chasers that catch the eye of the head of a big firm. The two are tapped to enlist in the corporate ranks and then hijinks ensue. One thing I was very happy to read is the romantic storyline will focus on Franklin, leaving Bash to be going after different chicks every week. As happy as I was when Zack and Kelly danced outside the prom, I always enjoyed single Zack more. And really, was there any doubt at all that Zack Morris was going to grow up to be a lawyer someday?

I don’t know if “Franklin and Bash” is going to make it. I’ve never watched a TNT series so frankly (haha!) I don’t have high hopes. But I can say I always root for MPG. He gave me as much enjoyment in my childhood as any character from TV, movies or books. He might not be the best actor in the world but there’s still enough talent there where MPG should be a part of our lives. Next Wednesday at 9pm, I’m going to be very happy to welcome MPG/Zack Morris/Steven Bash back into mine and I don’t think I’ll be alone.

And if there’s a part where he looks at the camera and says, “Timeout” I’m going to lose it.

-Dr. Jack