Skeptical Third World Child Kicking off Your Weekend

I have a pretty staunch record of hating everything meme, but this little playa may be breaking me down. Cracks me up every time.

Enjoy the weekend folks, I'll be back with my Celtics Draft Preview and a long awaited Red Sox Fans Pulse check next week.

Adios.

Is the Bird Flu Finally Legit?

Fox News - A new study raises concerns that it may be possible for airborne transmissible, human-to-human avian H5N1 flu viruses to evolve in nature...The papers revealed with only five mutations (amino acid substitutions), or four mutations plus reassortment, bird flu can become transmissible between mammals – and potentially humans. Currently, bird flu can be transmitted from birds to humans, but not from humans to humans.

Look, can you guys just tell me if I need to be wearing those surgical mask things like all the weirdo Asians I see on the subway or not? That's all I really need to know. If the old lady with the push cart full of pea pods and live poultry is capable of giving me the bird flu, just let me know. I'll run down to my dentist and stock up on masks. If not, can we just ease up on this stuff?

We've been hearing about potential pandemics from Bird Flu, Swine Flu, EEE, West Nile Virus, Gingivitis, etc... for years. Just widespread paranoia amongst germ-aphobes, new parents, and old people. All the while I'm sitting here wondering whether it's worth the big fuss or if I'm going to die because a pigeon shat on my window. Just help me out and let me know when this shit gets serious.

You know what I am deathly afraid of right now? Flesh eating bacteria, that's what. Before like, March, I'd heard of flesh eating bacteria maybe once or twice, and I'm pretty sure one of those times was on a very special episode of House. Now? Every week someone new is being eaten away by microscopic bacteria. It's freaking me the fuck out.

I bumped into the corner of my bead the other day and opened an old scar on my knee...I've been dousing that thing in hydrogen peroxide every three hours for a week now just thinking that I'm going to wake up the next day having to have my leg amputated.

Can we get some of these medical scientists on that problem for now? Worry about all these other things at a later date? Please?

Fun Little Mind Teaser if You're Bored at Work Today

DO NOT READ BELOW BEFORE WATCHING THE VIDEO. SERIOUSLY IT RUINS THE TEST.












Complete mind fuck. I honestly thought they were lying. I was legitimately pissed off that I had counted one more pass than they said was correct, figured the fix was in, then they throw in that curve ball from left field. Blew my mind. Thought someone was trying pull one over on me, went back, still almost missed it.

 Have fun with that this afternoon.

I'm 90% Positive My New Neighbor is the Real Buffalo Bill

I can't be sure if he's got some kinda in-ground/in-house well where he's keeping plus sized women's skin soft and healthy or anything, I can't know that. But I do know that whenever I hear him belt out an afternoon tune, I (rather disturbingly) picture some odd Buffalo Bill, Silence of the Lambs type shit going on. He's just that weird of a dude, doesn't help that my imagination runs wild when I'm woken up to the sound of his laundry machines running at FIVE AM! I just assume anything that needs washing at that hour of the morning was involved in some kind of heinous crime. 

Not a bad singer though, actually, just creepy as all shit with a ridiculously eclectic taste in music. One day it'll be Gary Jules' Mad World, the next Seal's Kissed by a Rose, today? Dexys Midnight Runners:




That's just a classic jam...Do you Buffalo Bill, Do You.

The San Diego Padres Announcers Fancy Themselves a Lady Who Can Flash the Leather

HUBBA HUBBA!

I've burst out laughing at that line at least 20 times. I find it strange that the MLB, notorious for not embracing video sharing, would let this video make the rounds. I mean, Dick Enberg here might as well have gone on air and told everyone he was going to be google imaging Lisa one handed after the game. No shame at all right there.

Here's the link to the video for when MLB inevitbaly un-embeds the video. 

You Think You're Having A Bad Day?

I can't believe no one wants to buy papers from this cuddly looking old man. Makes no sense. 


PS: The Maestro and I either saw this guy or the actual Sandusky right after all these allegations came out just strolling in the North End rocking a PSU sweatshirt proudly...Maestro thinks it was probably this guy...I'm 100% sure it was Sandusky enjoying one last good meal...

It's Happening...

Fucking Myans, It's All Coming True

God damnit, God damnit, God damnit. A couple weeks ago I wrote about how after watching the Celts give it their all against the Heat, battling all season long, to come up just short, oddly didn't turn me into a hermit,  hiding in my shell to avoid all sports information...I wondered why that didn't happen despite the fact that it's happened every other time in history one of my teams loses...Well it was a bit of a delayed reaction because it's here now.

I want nothing to do with Sportscenter, I want to put a contract out on Stephen A Smith using that donation site the old bitch who got picked on the bus is getting filthy rich off of to raise the funds, and I hope Miami succumbs to an epic tidal wave and we all just forget about this moment in history.

It's the worst sporting day since the Pats lost the super bowl. The worst.

PS: Bosh 100% cries himself to sleep at night every time he sees Lebron and Wade riding that two seater golf cart together.

Double PS: The Douchiest team in memory would use the Douchiest musical act in memory: