Michael Jordan's Charlotte Bobcats Are Now the Worst Team in NBA History

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- The worst season in NBA history is over for the Charlotte Bobcats. Gerald Henderson had 21 points for the Bobcats, whose 23rd consecutive loss left them with a winning percentage of .106 (7-59) in the lockout-shortened season. The record was set 39 years ago, when the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers finished 9-73 (.110) in a full regular season. "Going 7-59 like we did is not what we planned on doing," Henderson said. "This doesn't sit very well with me. These last 10 games, we've really tried to get after it, compete and not get that record. It just didn't happen for us. We just didn't have enough. We couldn't come up with the plays. "When you look back at it and see we lost 59 games, you always think, `We could've won one more.' " 

Gerald Henderson, walking quote machine huh? I mean these are some gems. 

 "Going 7-59 like we did is not what we planned on doing"

"When you look back at it and see we lost 59 games, you always think, `We could've won one more"

Uhh...yea Gerald, thanks. I mean, you actually could have won a lot more than one more...you lost 59 times, that's 59 more games you could have won...based on that statement, and the first quote, was your plan to go 8-58?  Was that what you guys planned on doing? 

Does anyone know if MJ actually cares? That's a real question...the guy is filthy rich, his shoes continue to be best sellers despite the fact that he retired like, a decade ago, just money flowing in constantly, he must not care, right? This guy was pyschotically competitive as a player, I have to think if he cared even an ounce about this team he'd be doing everything he could short of suiting up to help this team improve...that doesn't not seem to be the case here.

PS: Is Anthony Davis on suicide watch yet?

Red Sox Fans Pulse Check: Carl Crawford - MotherF*cker!

ESPN - The Boston Red Sox announced Thursday night that Carl Crawford has a sprained ulnar collateral ligament in his left (throwing) elbow, the injury that often results in Tommy John elbow reconstruction surgery. But rather than opt for surgery, the team said the outfielder will follow a protocol of more conservative treatment. "It is what it is what it is," Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine said Thursday night after Boston's 10-3 over the White Sox in Chicago. "We'll just let Mother Nature take the time to heal him up and get him back. I don't know how to explain it or put it into my thought. I wish he was 100 percent. Not playing for awhile is going to kill him more than it's killing me." A major league source told ESPN's Pedro Gomez that Crawford is expected to miss three months, a timetable that Crawford challenged in a text message to John Tomase of the Boston Herald. "I don't know where they got three months from," Crawford texted, adding he doesn't expect to be out that long..."I'm good," he texted. "It's just one of those things you can't control. I'm still looking forward to coming back strong." The Red Sox said in their statement that Dr. James Andrews, who examined Crawford Thursday, confirmed the diagnosis made by the team's medical staff.

Goddamnit. Carl, you're driving us freaking insane...I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault, I'm trying really hard here not to be a dick to you, but the circumstances...FUCK...I just need to be upset at someone and unfortunately, you're an easy target. 

Here the Sox are, 4 game winning streak, bats are alive, Felix Doubront is the blossoming ace of the staff (albeit with a 4.09 ERA, but still, ace of the staff), Bobby V hasn't said anything dumb in a couple of weeks, and then this. 

Please excuse me if I believe Pedro Gomez' time table over your own, too. At this point he has much more credibility with me than you do. Guy literally had his nose up and around Barry Bonds butthole for years, pretty sure he's more than capable of snooping your expected time table for return. So three months it is, I won't believe it'll be a day less until I see you take the field. Again, I know this isn't really your fault, injuries happen, but shit, you're kinda like the Official Ruiner of the Boston Red Sox right now...like that should be your title: 2012 Ruiner. 

PS: I know everyone swears by James Andrews, and he may really be a miracle worker, but goddamn do I freaking hate that guy...Let's be honest, that guy has never given an ounce of good news to any athlete, anywhere, ever.  He's like the Grim Reaper of sports medicine...Yea, he's probably saving some of these guys careers, but as a fan the second I hear his name associated with someone from one of my teams, I immediately head to Kappys for a six-pack. Nothing good ever comes from visiting James Andrews. Just once I'd like to hear a story saying, "he visited James Andrews today, turns out he's fine."  Nope, for some reason flying down to his clinic in Alabama is like the Bermuda Triangle for tendons and ligaments...no one has ever come back in tact.

UPDATE: George Zimmerman's Website Make $200K in Three Weeks!

ORLANDO, Florida – George Zimmerman's website seeking money for his legal defense may have been shut down, but apparently not before pulling in quite a haul for the high-profile Florida murder defendant. The attorney for Zimmerman, charged in the February shooting of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, says in a TV interview Thursday that his client's website has raised more than $200,000 ... TheRealGeorgeZimmerman.com was launched April 10, as a digital soapbox for Zimmerman to give his side of the story, as well as a fundraising tool to solicit donations to his legal defense fund. Zimmerman used the site, which took major credit cards, to communicate messages to his supporters. But the site was shut down as of this week. 

For real? $200k in 3 weeks? There are people out there that had $200k of disposable (and really that's as disposable as disposable comes) income to give this guy? Fuck me. 

A few weeks back when I heard about this I said that I may quit the internet if this little venture of his was successful...Now, I'm not going to do that, but I'm debating whether or not George is an internet genius and I was just too stubborn to see it...Like, is that the way to do it, just put up a paypal button and beg  you guys to donate? Does that work better than these ads that you guys don't click?

I might have to try out a little experiment this weekend and throw up a donate button when I get some free time...don't worry, I can 100% assure you all proceeds will go to frivolous things and items of semi-luxury. 

Andrew Luck: Huge Geek.

"With the first pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, from Stanford University, though you may know him better as Sam Weir, from Freaks and Geeks, Andrew Luck."

That's him folks, you simply won't convince me otherwise. Little Sam Weir continued his geeky ways all the way through high school, got himself into Stanford where he somehow stumbled upon some scientific formula that made him the best qb in all the land.  Only way to explain how this supernerd made his way to becoming the number one pick in the NFL draft.

PS: As a Pats fan, whats the protocol here? Do I automatically have to hate him, or what? The Colts may have been our greatest rival during the Brady era, but they're hardly our natural rival, it was more due to competition. With the team sucking, clearing house, and ditching Manning, does my hatred for all things Colts still have to stand? Seems like a waste of energy if they're going to suck for the next few years on their own, if you ask me. I think I'm going to take a wait and see approach.