Abbreviated Alt-Tabs

I was going to hang it up for today, there were a few stories that I just couldn't help commenting on.

Delonte West Acting Crazy Again - During a three-on-three game with Avery Bradley, Luke Harangody, Semih Erden and assistant coach Tyronn Lue, West began fouling Wafer each time the reserve guard touched the ball. West was increasingly physical to the point that Wafer exited to the locker room midway through the game. As he walked away, West barked obscenities and taunted Wafer. After Wafer had showered and sat down at his locker, West approached from behind and threw a punch. Wafer didn’t see the punch coming but quickly got off of the ground and connected on two punches of his own. He then wrestled West to the ground before being separated by the team’s veterans. West believed Wafer was responsible for published anonymous quote saying it was “obvious” when West hadn’t taken his medicine, source says.

Delonte West is starting to sound more like a baddass Mel Gibson character in some horrible action movie than an NBA basketball player. Riding around with three loaded guns on his motorcycle, banging teammates mom's, and now striking back at his antagonizers after days of laying in wait. Dude is straight up certifiable. If he's some how not cut this is going to be one hell of an entertaining season. 

Randy Quaid Running from Hollywood Hitman -Randy Quaid is on the run in  Canada and seeking refugee status. The actor and his  wife Evi are  facing charges in a California court and skipped another  court date in  the state this week. A California judge has now issued a warrant for  their  arrest....In  his prepared statement Randy claims he is the  target of a "Hollywood  Hit Team" that is out to "whack" him and his wife  Evi. At times tearful  with his hands trembling Randy detailed a long  list of "insiders and  employees" that he singled out for theft and  corruption. He stated that  eight actors, including Chris Penn and Heath  Ledger “were  whacked”  and others including Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Mel  Gibson were  also being targeted. “We are not criminals nor are we  fugitives from  the justice nor are we crazy,” he said.

You may know Randy Quaid better as Crazy Cousin Eddy from the National Lampoons Vacation series or as the Crazy guy from Independance Day.  I always assumed he was just a good niche actor, cornered the whole market for acholics, unshaven bums, and lunatic rolls locked down. Sadly it turns out he was just being himself. (thanks to AJ, I had a whole blog prepared but he helped simplify it with a one liner)

Yankee Fan Put in His Place - The victim, a student who was not identified by police, was walking near the corner of Harvard and Brighton avenues early on the morning of Oct. 16, hours after the Yankees rallied in the eighth inning to defeat the Texas Rangers by one run in the first game of the ALCS.
A man wearing a gray sweatshirt approached him and asked, “Why are you wearing that hat around here?” according to a police report. Before having a chance to reply, the victim was punched in the face and knocked down, which caused him to bleed from his hands and chin, police said.

Because its random acts of violence to show support for your team are always fun.

Politically Correct Wiccans

Foxnews - Witch's Wit is one of Port Brewing Company's Lost Abbey beers, which the distributor calls "inspired beers for saints and sinners alike." Each beer sports a label that aims to tell a story about the struggle between good and evil.

But Vicki Noble, a famed healer, astrologer and spiritual leader in the pagan community, saw only evil in Witch's Wit after a worker in a liquor store called the bottle to her attention last week. Incensed at the image of a witch being burned at the stake, Noble sent an e-mail to her followers, asking in the subject line: "Can we stop this brewer from their hate imagery? Can you imagine them showing a black person being lynched or a Jewish person going to the oven?" she asked. "Such images are simply not tolerated in our society anymore (thank the Goddess) and this one should not be, either."...Still, Cynthia Eller, associate professor of women's studies and religious studies at Montclair State University in New Jersey, said the label was just plain offensive. "This woman could have been my great, great, great, great, grandmother -- if she lived long enough to reproduce,"

Vicki Noble and Cynthia Eller can cut the shit.  Its a frigen beer ladies, relax and throw one back.  No, the cartoon image of a witch burning at the stake is not offensive.  Because its a fucking witch.  If you're opposed to this you have to be opposed to just about any halloween decoration, The Wizard of Oz, Melissa Joan Hart, Charmed, and anything else portraying the stereotypical witch.  But I didn't hear you bitches witches all up in arms in these situations. 

No, this is clearly just another case of our society taking political correctness too far.  Again, its just a beer bottle. Protesting the bottle is getting it far more notice than it ever would have gotten if you'd just gone about your day without looking for some injustice to bitch about.  It's not like the company is lobbying for us to burn actual witches, hell its not like actual witches even exist.  You're a wiccan, in touch with mother nature and all that mumbo jumbo (yes I'm making fun of Wiccans, its odd and you chose to be different, deal with it).  You're not a witch, you don't ride around on broomsticks and you're not casting spells on villagers.  Come put a spell on me, turn me in to a frog, make me a mute, some shit like that. Can't do it? BECAUSE YOU'RE A PHONY AND WITCHES DON'T EXIST! Black people exist, Jewish people exist, witches do not exist.  There is literally nothing to complain about here.

And no, that couldn't be your grandmother.  I'm not sure you're aware of the difference between photographs and cartoons, but thats a cartoon, its not a real person, it's not your relative.  So stop causing problems where there aren't any, please.

Guest Blog: Awkard Moments in an Elevator

Yep, thats right another guest blog.  Lets hope this one get less lames than the previous two submissions.

Yesterday, a female co-worker and I decided to go out and grab an afternoon snack.  It is important to note that she is pregnant, and far enough along that you can tell she is pregnant.  We were joined in the elevator by a guy that works across the hall from our office.  While in the elevator this guy is awkwardly looking at her stomach, and you can tell he is just dying to say something.  He then proceeds to ask us if we are together.  Yeah, he went there.  After a few seconds of complete awkwardness, we tell him that we aren’t.  You’d think a normal person would just kind of end the conversation there right?  (Actually a normal person would never ask two complete strangers if they are together, but that’s beside the point)  He then tells us that he thought we might have been together because we were similar size.  Hopefully he meant height, because I don’t believe that I look pregnant.

Where do you even start here?  Asking two complete strangers if they are together is one thing, but when the woman is pregnant that’s a whole new ballgame.  That brings in all sorts of different dynamics.  The size comment is just completely baffling to me.  Like does this guy (Jon Gruden would be proud) honestly think that people are getting together strictly based on being similar heights?  Based on his theory I’d have a legitimate shot with Jessica Alba if she was my height.  Maybe he’s onto something here.

-Milosh

When Will People Stop Using The Post Office?

Is anyone else bothered that seemingly sane people continue to use the post office?  Its all so out of date.  I can think of literally no reason that I'm ever going to buy a stamp again.  Seriously, I challenge you to name me one.  And don't even get me started on going to the actual post office. It is Fedex, UPS or hand delivery for me from here on out. Have you been to a post office lately? The last time I made a trip there I thought I'd mistakenly ended up at the DMV.  Just dirty, unhealthy, bordering on  homeless looking people lined up waiting forever to carry out simple tasks that in all likelihood could be carried out electronically.  Its like a frigen leper colony.  Its disgusting and I'm never going back.  And why should I? Buying stamps for mailing letters/cards/bills?  Please.  It's all do-able online or over the phone.

We'll start with bills.  The only valid excuse for not paying your bills online is that you're elderly and can't figure it out.  And even then most bills offer automatic deductions.  Trying to buy stamps is the biggest waste of time I've ever encountered.  Do you know how hard it is to buy a fucking stamp anywhere else but the post office (which we've already established as a gateway to Hell)?    The US Postal Service wonders why they're verging on the point of irrelvance and bankruptcy? Maybe because you inisit on believing  people are willing buy 1x1 pieces of paper from you with glue on the back in order to mail anything, but you make them impossible to find unless you're in the actual Post office. Stupidest business plan I've ever heard of.  Pay that shit online and save yourself the time and .44 cents.

Mailing letters and or cards is a societal issue we need to tackle.  We've accepted so many technological changes over the past two decades that it boggles my mind that we still view e-mailed letters and e-cards as impersonal.  This needs to end now.  If you live far enough away from me or I see you sparingly enough that I need to communicate via letter or greeting card then you're not worth the $3.99 I'd need to spend on the card, the one hour minimum that it would take to find a stamp, or the .44 cents for the cost of the stamp.  Why don't we all agree to save eachother a bunch of time and a little bit of money and move the whole greeting card and personal letter industry online.  What is the big deal?  I'm still taking the time and showing that I'm thinking of you by contacting you. Who cares if I've decided to do it in an efficient manner rather than communicating the way previous generations did.  Shit changes, smoke signals were replaced land lines, and land lines by cell phones but you don't see anyone complaining that making my calls from a cellular device is impersonal and expecting me to go out back and light a fire.  Its ridiculous and I won't be doing it anymore. 

Rant Over.

Tough Being a Student These Days

Its things like this that really make me glad I went to school during the early pioneering days of the net.  When you could still find teachers and professors that assumed your paper was written based on hard work and research time put in at the library with scholarly journals and those encyclopedia things.  Yes I only graduated a few years ago but teachers were still naive enough not to think we were propositioning complete strangers on the internet for questionably factual knowledge. 

I personally blame wikipedia for this. Teachers began to really catch on as soon as the internet decided to fuck with academia's obsession with encyclopedias.  The idea that something that calls itself an encyclopedia could be edited or written by anyone and possibly contain false information was just too much for educators to handle.  You've got to understand that the generation of teachers that taught us were raised on the idea that an encyclopedias word was as good as gospel.  Threatening the credibility of encyclopedias was a horrible decision and todays students today are paying for it.  Thanks alot, wikipedia.