Facebook to Now Allow Users to Pay to Promote their Status Updates and Instragrammed Food

Fox - Facebook wants you to advertise … to your friends. The world’s largest social network, which announced Thursday that it has crossed the billion-user mark, has struggled to make money from its enormous pool of users. The solution: Turning individual users into advertisers...Facebook announced Wednesday that Joe Sixpack will soon be able to ensure that you're reading his messages, thanks to an expansion of the Promoted Posts program, which lets businesses pay anywhere from a few dollars to a few thousand to ensure that hundreds of thousands of Facebookers see your posts. “As part of a test starting today, people in the U.S. can promote personal posts to their friends on Facebook,” explained Abhishek Doshi, a software engineer, on Facebook’s website. “When you promote a post -- whether it’s wedding photos, a garage sale, or big news -- you bump it higher in news feed so your friends and subscribers are more likely to notice it.”..Facebook announced Wednesday that Joe Sixpack will soon be able to ensure that you're reading his messages, thanks to an expansion of the Promoted Posts program, which lets businesses pay anywhere from a few dollars to a few thousand to ensure that hundreds of thousands of Facebookers see your posts. “As part of a test starting today, people in the U.S. can promote personal posts to their friends on Facebook,” explained Abhishek Doshi, a software engineer, on Facebook’s website. “When you promote a post -- whether it’s wedding photos, a garage sale, or big news -- you bump it higher in news feed so your friends and subscribers are more likely to notice it.”

Ok, I'm not going to get all dramatic and say that if you do this I'll un-friend you, I'm not going to bitch about the fact that on top of having to wade through countless advertisements for Tide Detergent and Duracell batteries every time I log on to Facebook just to see what my fake internet friends are up to, I'm now going to have to add advertisements specifically from those fake internet friends for garage sales, craigslist adds, and awesome pictures of what they had for dinner...I'm fine with all that.

I'm just going to say, if you're one of these people who feels the need to pay Facebook to ensure people see your post/status update/picture of food...You really need to look in the mirror and take stock of your life.  Really think about what that's saying about you. You're basically paying to advertise the fact that not only do you assume internet strangers and fake friends who, by logging into Facebook, are admitting they've got nothing better to do than to kill time and look for gossip fodder, aren't going to find you interesting enough to pay attention to...But that also your real friends have so little interest in what's going on in your life (or what you purport to be your life through phony updates) that they're just going to skim right by your updates. That's what you're saying.

So if you're at that point, I'd say paying $7 for a post that says "Little Caroline's First Poop on the Potty!", shouldn't be your top priority. Maybe getting out and seeing some real people, or a shrink perhaps. At the very least pick up the phone and talk to an actual human voice. Because when you're at the point where you're literally paying for the lowest form of human contact imaginable, the "Like", that's when you know you really need help.

State Funded Sex Change Murderer Toss Up

Would you rather be this, or...

Boston - Michelle Kosilek, the convicted murderer who is seeking a taxpayer-funded sex change operation, is asking for more than $800,000 in attorney’s fees and costs...Kosilek won her legal battle in US District Court in September. But the state is appealing the controversial ruling by US District Judge Mark Wolf that the surgery is the only adequate care for Kosilek’s gender identity disorder...Under Globe policy, Kosilek is being referred to as a woman because that is the gender with which she identifies. Born Robert Kosilek, Michelle Kosilek began transitioning to a female identity in 1990, the year that she strangled her then-wife. She has been staying in a men’s prison while taking hormones and developing female physical qualities.

So this has been the hot topic around Boston for what seems like months now, should this dude Robert (I know, why'd he pick Michelle right? Isn't Roberta the obvious choice?), a convicted murder serving life, be entitled to a state funded sex change because he views himself as a woman...Let's first state the obvious, No. Apparently though, the legal system has lost interest in common sense, and now he's going to become a she, on tax payer dimes, barring a successful appeal.

From the State's side, the tax payers side, or basically anyone or anything that has a basic level of common sense, this is an abomination. But from a prisoners side? Genius I say. So here's the toss up: Would you rather serve life in male prison with your natural born dick, or life in woman's prison, at the expense of a little nip and tuck.

This poor dude

Now this is life. You're not getting out. No parole. No good behavior. You're going to die in that cell. And I say fuck it, bring on the knife. I know myself, I know I'd last one hour in prison before my first anxiety attack over being raped by that guy with the lisp and his pocket hanging out of his pants from prison break. Screw that. I'll take a lifetime of scissoring with no dick over the threat of being some dude's pet. No shame in that. I'd say having no dick but living as the bull of the females prison is 100% more masculine than having your dick but using some large man's hairy stomach as your pillow when you go to bed a night for the rest of your life.

So Robert, I get it. I do. But you're still an asshole.