Rant of the Week (Ok, So I haven't Been Keeping Up Weekly, Whatever)

Dishes In the Work Kitchen - I'm not talking about the occasional mug or bowl or anything pedestrian here. I'm looking at you, lady washing out an entire sinks worth of dirty dishes and tupperware.  What the hell did you do for lunch, feed your entire team? Or did you bring in your families dishes from home to save on hot water costs? Either way,  you see me standing here with my cheesy hands and an empty bag of cheetos, think you could move out of the way for two seconds so I can wash up and get back to work?  Not like I have all day to stand here and watch you carry out your domestic duties. If you wanted to do dishes so frigen badly why not just tell hubby you want to be a stay at home mom?


People Who Say "I'm Well" - Well laty-frigen-dah.  I don't care if its the proper way to say it, we're American, this isn't Jolly Olde England. We say I'm good here.  I immediately take back being polite and asking how you're doing if you respond to me with "I'm Well." Learn some manners, stop being so smug.


The Cast of The Bachelor - No, I don't watch the bachelor, and neither should you.  But if your gf/wife does and you happen to catch some of what is going on in the background you'll know what I'm talking about.  What is with these crazy ass broads? Where does ABC find them?  "I'm now ready to commit myself to true love." Please, then what are you doing all dolled up on national television you money grubbing whore.  Normal people don't find their "true love" by sharing a guy with 30 other woman, acting like a floozy, and dressing like a high class escort.  Give me a break. The only difference between these girls and a groupy waiting outside a celebrity packed night club is that the groupie doesn't have to see the 25 other girls the dude has hooked up with in the past week.  Have some self respect.


Everything About Paula Abdul - Hopefully most of you are just nodding at this one, I'm not sure that an explanation is necessary but just in case...I'm completely befuddled how a woman so unstable, so seemingly drugged up or drunk at all times, was able to convince a national network to give her a starring role in a prime time television show after basically being forced off her last show due to her maniacal behavior.  I guess I underestimated America's desire to watch a train wreck in person.  Is that the lesson here? Should CW be wandering the streets in some sort of crazy person get up (robe and boxers I guess) drunkly spouting off rants or conspiracy theories?...well actually yes, they'd probably call me Ted Williams and give me national advertising offers on the spot...only in America.

SuperCuts VS Great Clips - Most Blatant Ripoff of All Time?

 I'd be pissed right now if I were SuperCuts.  These bastards move into your territory, openly mock your franchise name, and no one seems to care or notice? 

Seriously, Google Great Clips and SuperCuts together.  There is not one outraged site or rant about Great Clips just moving in on SuperCuts already established market for Superlative based hair designs.  You guys gotta stick up for yourselves.  That shit would mean war to me, prissy beauty school graduates should be battling in the streets, buzzers, shears and hot irons drawn just wreaking havoc.

I may knock SuperCuts and mock those of you older than 14 that still make monthly trips to SuperCuts instead of manning up and finding a barber, but I'll be damned if I ever see someone walking into  a Great Clips.  How little self respect do you have to have at that point? Though I'm still completely against it, if you're going to choose a glorified chain salon (guys its not a barbershop, its a salon, that's weak) don't you at least choose the best one of those? Everyone knows "Super" is a far better superlative than "Great".  Show at least a little class.  If you see a Target and a Wal-mart right next to each other you at least choose the Target right?  No one would openly choose to walk into a Wal-Mart store of squalor if there was a slightly better choice right next door, same rule applies here (again, assuming you're still haven't grown up and found a barbershop). 

PS: Yes this blog has had an odd number of hair cut related posts since its inception, I find it odd as well.

Toss Up: Stars of the 80's and 90's Before Their Time or Stars of Youtube After Their Time?

Serious question I've been pondering lately.  Did the stars of the late 80's-Early 90's arrive before their time? Or are today's Youtube sensations all basking in the fading light of their glow? 

The answer? No. If anything the stars of the 80's would have been enormous mega-stars today. Far greater than anything they achieved during their brief 15 minutes.

Take Right Said Fred (pictured above), guy had a smash hit (or as much of a hit as you could have during the cassette tape days) with "I'm to Sexy" but would he have been even more popular during the youtube age?  Everything about the video screams youtube production. Said Fred probably would have made all the usual tour stops, G4, Tosh.0, the Soup, mocked on Southpark etc... and his web hits would have made the 2~million or so views that the video currently has look like spare change.

Don't believe me? Check out Samwell's "What What in the Butt" Video".  Really a perfect comparison, aside from about being 20 years apart there really isn't too much of a difference between the two songs.  35+Million Freaking Views! 35 million!  Sorry, Said Fred, you'll never be that popular.  Even if you added up all the times your video played on MTV, your few appearances at Spring Break, and cassette tapes sold you won't touch that number.  Pretty sure only Michael Jackson reached those heights in the 80's (coincidentally enough I can't think of anyone from the 80's 90's crossover period who could have taken advantage of Youtube more than MJ, you know before the whole child molesting situation took over). 

Numa-Numa dude, Samwell, and Chocolate Rain guy (61 million views!) all cashed in at just the right time.  Devo, Flock of Seaguls, the afforementioned Said Fred and to some extent Salt-N-Pepa may have paved the road for these guys, but the stars of Youtube burn far brighter than and of the 80's-90's crossovers could have ever dreamed.

Airline Passenger Is Toughest French Citizen Since Napoleon

The French even back down to their own street signs.

The Smoking Gun - In what will only enforce the belief that some French citizens are saddled with an insufferable insouciance, federal air marshals had to subdue an intoxicated man flying to New York from Nice when he repeatedly shoved a female flight attendant who caught him smoking in the plane’s bathroom. After being handcuffed, suspect Franck Lebrun announced, “I’m French, fuck you!” The disruption aboard a January 8 Delta Air Lines flight is detailed in a federal criminal complaint charging Lebrun with interfering with a flight crew member. According to FBI Agent Janet Ambrisco, during the flight Lebrun, 34, purchased a one-liter bottle of Baileys Irish Crème liquor and a mini bottle of liquor. The bottle of Baileys, only one-fourth filled, was found in his carry-on baggage. When Lebrun--screaming, yelling, and smelling of “cigarettes and alcohol”--got into a fighting stance opposite an air marshal (one of three on the transatlantic flight), he was handcuffed and moved to the rear of the airplane. During the trip, Ambrisco noted, Lebrun had been “speaking in a confrontational manner using expletives in English and made other comments in French.”

I call bullshit on this guy being French.  They had me going with the drinking and the smoking, but if there is one thing about the French that I know, its that they roll over quicker than the neighborhood dog at the first sign of potential conflict or physical force.  

The French are pussies. "Oh hey Nazi forces, you want to set up camp down town? Those are some big tanks you have, I guess that would be ok", "The war in Vietnam is getting a bit deadly? Ehh, bring out troops back home, they could use a vacation anyway."  The Frogs haven't stood up in the face of conflict since their midget leader Napoleon was trapsing all over the globe.  I highly doubt this guy finally decided to defend his national heritage just because he wasn't allowed to smoke on a plane.

More likely this was just your average drunk, jackass American, using American ingenuity to deflect negative attention away from America.  Now that's patriotism.