Another Escape from an NYC Zoo...Peacock Escapes Central Park, Terrorizes Upper East Side

(NewsCore) - NEW YORK -- A peacock escaped Tuesday from New York City's Central Park Zoo and was on the loose on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, authorities said. "The peacock poses no danger to anyone," the zoo said in a statement. "To ensure a good outcome in this situation, we ask everyone not to follow or harass the bird if they see him." Zoo officials added, "We are hopeful he will either fly back to the zoo or we will retrieve him nearby."

New York's Zoos kinda suck at their job, right? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but the point of a zoo is to keep the animals in, no? Kind of like a prison for wildlife?  Not in NY I guess, first a Cobra, now a Peacock? I guess give them credit for not losing a poisonous threat to society this time around though...

PS: How the hell do you lose a peacock? I didn't even know those gangly things could fly.  I worked at Canobie Lake Park for the worst summer of my life and not once did I see one of those awkward birds even attempt to jump, let alone fly away.  We just kept them out in the open, kids loved looking at them, people hated cleaning their shit after they'd been fed french fries.  Dudes had no thoughts about escaping.

Double PS: Yea that's what he's gonna do buddy, he's just going to fly back to the zoo, he just needed a break. Frigen moron...do escaped inmates come back to prison when its time to go to bed? Not a chance.

Father of the Year Arrested After Hanging Wanted Dead Or Alive Posters for Daughters Boyfriend

Fox News - A California man was sentenced to seven years in prison Monday for putting up “dead or alive” posters for his daughter’s sex-offender boyfriend. Domingos Jose Oliveira offered a $3,000 bounty “for the body” of Sean Kirk, 33, a student at Grossmont College. His attorney, Michael Earle, said his client was a concerned father who was trying to do what he believed was best for his daughter. "I think in his mind he was doing what was best for his daughter," Earle told the station.

Hard to feel bad for this guy here because he went about this in such a stupid way, you don't post help wanted ads and Wanted Posters on telephone poles anymore, that's what Twitter and Craigslist are for, but at the same time this is a tough break. I mean the guy's only trying to do right by his daughter, it's not like he actually shook on a contract or anything, just empty threats. There's probably 1 million death threats a day made online, shit is just common place, no one takes it seriously, but you put one little Wild West Poster up outside your house and all of a sudden there's a federal investigation.

PS: The "doing what was best for his daughter" is a hard claim after hearing he's also an admitted sex offender for hooking up with a chick he claims he thought was 18...that's the pot calling the kettle black here.

Is this the Face of a Dumbass Teen Charged With Streaking at a Little League Game?

HINGHAM (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - On Monday, August 1, 2011 local police received multiple calls reporting a naked man, with a shirt covering his face, running through Lynch Field in Hingham. The field was hosting a Little League game at the time involving a team of 9-year-old children. A short time later, officers found a similar truck in the Hingham Bathing Beach parking lot with several teenagers nearby. After speaking with the youths, one was identified from a photograph on the dropped cell phone. That teenager admitted he had run across the field for a bet of $20.00 from his friends. Oliver S. Sullivan, 18, of Hingham, was arrested and charged with one count of Open and Gross Lewdness.

Fucking kids these days, can't get anything right. Streaking at a ball game is the definition of a "Go Big or Go Home" stunt.  You just don't go full monty across a little league field in front of a bunch of 6th graders and their Whole Foods shopping Milf Moms (I'm assuming, it's Hingham) for a $20 bet. That shit is strictly a MLB park with your friends posting bail and chipping in for your lawyer deal.   If you're going to do it it's gotta be worth the lewdness charge and the sex offender status after dangling your wang in front of a bunch of miners...you're never going to pick up chicks telling them you're a registered sex offender for exposing yourself to 12 year olds, but tell a chick you got charged for streaking Fenway? You can practically hear Dirty Water celebrating your victory before you even get the girl in the cab to go home with you.

Panera Celebrating 1 Year Anniversary of their "Pay What You Feel" Restaurants

Fox News - "Your suggested donation today is $6.59," said a woman taking orders behind the counter at a Panera Bread Company restaurant in Dearborn, Mich. It's a “suggested donation,” not a price, because although this looks just like a typical shop in the restaurant chain -- with all the same sandwiches, soups and salads you would see in a standard Panera property -- there’s a difference here. At this location, there are no actual prices. You pay how much you want, or what you can afford. "Your suggested donation today is $6.59," said a woman taking orders behind the counter at a Panera Bread Company restaurant in Dearborn, Mich. It's a “suggested donation,” not a price, because although this looks just like a typical shop in the restaurant chain -- with all the same sandwiches, soups and salads you would see in a standard Panera property -- there’s a difference here. At this location, there are no actual prices. You pay how much you want, or what you can afford.

While I appreciate that Panera is trying to do a good thing here, I'm absolutely stunned these things are still in business...Either people are way nicer and more giving than I'm giving them credit for, or I'm just that much of an asshole...Because if you expect me to strut in there and pay above the suggested price like a sucker, you've lost your damn mind...If you think I'm walking in there and paying just the suggested "donation," you're still bat shit crazy.  I'm walking in and giving you however many singles I have, up to $4. That's it.  So if it's been one of those crazy days at work and I haven't had time to properly snack and had to waste two of my dollars on the extremely overpriced vending machine at work? You're getting stuck with two bucks.  I'll thank you while tweeting what a good deal I got on my smartphone, with my gas guzzling SUV idling outside so I could keep the AC on for when I got back.

Eastern European Mayor Crushing Cars for Parking in Bike Lanes with a Tank Like a Boss!

Fox News -  A Eastern European mayor frustrated over people illegally parking their luxury vehicles in his city's designated bike lanes boarded a tank to make sure his message would be heard "loud and clear." Arturas Zuokas, mayor of Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, released a video featuring himself at the controls of an eight-wheeled, camouflaged tank running over and crushing an illegally parked Mercedes Benz.

LIKE A FUCKING BOSS!

I just hope Mayor Menino doesn't get a hold of this footage, we don't need him getting any ideas about patrolling tanks through the city to ensure success of this hubway bike sharing program.

Side note: I don't think there is a limit to what I would do just to be the Mayor/Dictator of some fake Eastern Eurpoean country like Lithuania for a month. Just no rules, do whatever the hell you feel like doing.  Imagine being this guy? Look at the smile on his face, ear to fucking ear. Just woke up, decided he had enough with illegal parkers, rounded up a couple of buddys to get in on the fun and decided to go car crushing for the day. And no one is going to say boo about it.  It's as fake life as it gets.

Grandma Fights of Robber, Leaves Him With Nothing But "Sore Balls"

dramatic re-enactment

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- An area woman said she was injured while fighting off an armed burglar who broke into her home, but she thinks she got a few licks in, too. "We were gone for about 15 minutes. It was just a quick walk, just because it was so hot," she said. She said when they returned, they noticed that the front door has been kicked in. She said an armed man grabbed her 10-year-old grandson and 5-year-old granddaughter and told her to come inside."You don't mess with the grandkids. That's the mother lion instinct," she said. "I didn't think if he got us in the house with a gun that we would come out." She said the burglar pistol-whipped her, breaking her arm and cutting her forehead. But she said she didn't back down, attacking the man in a particularly sensitive spot. She said the intruder didn't get away with much. "Sore balls. Sore balls is all he got from here, and a limp," she said. Thomas said her friends were helping to replace her front door and purchase an alarm system.

"Sore balls. Sore Balls is all he got from here, and a limp."

Who the hell does this grandma think she's kidding? Sounds like she got her ass straight whooped. Fucking got her ass pistol whipped and her arm broken...so yea, congrats on getting a couple dick shots in but I'm pretty sure you lost that fight. 

Nothing worse than the loser of a fight trying to play it off like they came out ok, used to happen in middle school all the time...loser of the fight would try playing it off to people who didn't see it like it was a draw or it got broken up to quick, like, "yea he was wailing on my face when the teachers got there but I was just about to reverse that shit."  Best part was when someone that did see the fight would walk in to the conversatino and blow their shit up..."No buddy, we all saw it, weren't you crying at the end and in the fetal position?"  

Moral of the story, take your lumps like a man or grandma. Be proud for defending your house, sure but don't play it off like you beat this guy into fleeing the house, shit didn't happen.