12 Year Old Girl Holds Up Burger King at Gun Point, Learns Valuable Life Lesson.

Fox News  - A 12-year-old Michigan girl will be charged with armed robbery after she tried to hold up a convenience store, MyFoxDetroit.com reported Monday. Sheriff’s deputies say the girl walked into the Country Lake Food Center in Highland, Mich., with a nine millimeter gun demanding cash. Employees recognized the girl, who they said is a regular. One employee called 911 while another held the girl down. "She pointed a gun to me. I thought it was a joke at first," a store employee said on the 911 call. The girl was reportedly wearing a bandana over her face and black-colored clothing. She can be heard crying on the 911 dispatch.

God Damnit.  You have to love Juvenile court.  It's a great teaching tool for career paths.  I feel like I missed out on this fact growing up.  Never even bothered to test my boundaries or skills when it came to careers in the criminal underworld.  I could have been one of the greats for all I know.  

This girl figured it out though.  And yea, she's an abject failure as a criminal, doesn't matter if you're a 12 year old girl,  you've got a 9mm you shouldn't be able to be subdued by some guy waiting for a Whopper like 3.5 seconds after you announce it's a stick up.  

But at least she figured it out while she was still young and the consequences don't count, and that's the important thing here.  Just one more potential career she can cross off her list (presumably along with, laywer, working professional, investment banker, and anything else that requires a brain, she's really just down to prostitution is what I'm saying), and all it cost was a couple nights in Juvy and probably twice monthly counseling.  Big whoop.  A small price to pay for getting one step closer to figuring out your future career.

Police Determine Lawrence Mayor Wily Lantigua Made Up Story of Attempted Hit and Run

LAWRENCE (AP) - Lawrence police have determined that there is no evidence to support Mayor William Lantigua's claim that someone tried to run him down in a car in front of city hall last month. Chief John Romero said Tuesday no charges will be filed as a result of the March 30 incident and the case is closed. The Eagle-Tribune says the investigation report was delivered to Lantigua's office on Tuesday. Lantigua did not respond to the newspaper's requests for comment. Lantigua told police two white men in a car were watching him and an aide and taking pictures. The car then sped away, nearly striking Lantigua. He reported the incident a day later. Witnesses told police say they saw the car, but did not see it try to run down the mayor.

This story makes 0 sense, yet at the same time it makes complete sense, if that's possible.

Zero sense in the case that, why on earth did Wily go through the trouble of making this batshit crazy story up? Did he feel his city was getting too boring and needed to spice shit up? Like there isn't enough stuff going on in Lawrence for the cops to handle, why not create some caper straight out of a Hardy Boys novel.  Because muggings, car theft, insurance fraud, arson and the occasional violent crime aren't enough to keep these cops busy I guess.

And it makes complete sense because, well, it's Wily Lantigua.  The guy has been a controversial political figure for like a decade now, with no clear support base outside of free Hispanic daily newspapers and an Army of presumably unregistered and undocumented illegals.  Seriously, who else would vote for this swindling, cheating, bone bag? The guy is easily the least qualified Mayor in the history of Mayors. Just one horrible, controversial misstep after another.  No matter though, just smile and wave during the ethnic parades and you'll keep your place in office Wily.  

Tewksbury Man Stabbed During Road Rage Fight, Victim Takes it All in Stride.

Police search for suspect in road rage stabbing: MyFoxBOSTON.com

TEWKSBURY (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - A road rage incident that started in Wilmington and ended in Tewksbury left a man with multiple stab wounds on Wednesday afternoon...The victim, identified as Dennis Keohane, of Tewksbury, said he was driving down 93 with his boss when the car just came up behind them. He said he tapped his brakes a couple of times and that is what set the Honda off. The suspect then followed Keohane off the highway for three miles to Industrial Drive, off East Street, in Tewksbury, where the victim works. Keohane dropped his boss off and when he left work, he saw the Honda waiting for him on the access road. “We had a few words and, to be honest, I thought he was kind of punching me," said Keohane. "I didn’t know he had a blade in his hand. I didn’t know I was stabbed until I got back to my shop and I felt blood trickling down my neck.”

 This guy was just living the dream as far as Road Ragers go.  Do you know how often I've dreamed of just annihilating the people I share the road with?  Courteous driving my ass.  It should be every man for himself and woman aren't allowed.  Yep, I said it.  I've legit day dreamed and zoned out in particularly frustrating traffic situations to the point that I've spent 30 minutes fascinating about what it would be like if the roads and cars were like a bumper car arena and anything goes (I would just pin motherfuckers against the guard rails and slam it in reverse and then drive over and over and over again).  I snap out of it like 20 miles down the road, way past wherever I had set out to go.  

So yea, it might be morally reprehensible to celebrate this guy stabbing the shit out of some random that upset him on the highway, but I think we can all admit we've dreamed of that day as well.  Plus, nothing is more frigen annoying than the guy going too slow in the fast lane that decides to tap his brakes at you when you get too close.

Well, nothing except that asshole that decides to ram his grill right up my ass while I'm already doing 20 mph over the speed limit.  I totally tap my brakes at those jerks. 

PS: How about Cool Hand Luke the victim here. Watch the video, the guy acts like it was no big deal. "Yea I thought we were just in a fist fight, didn't even realize he stabbed me, just rubbed some dirt on it and went home." WTF? How often does this guy get in fights on the side of the road?

McDonalds Hiring 50K New Workers? Were All Their Previous Employees Deported?

CLEVELAND — Three people were struck by a car and two others were arrested after a fight broke out at a McDonald's during the company's "National Day of Hiring" in Ohio...The event aimed to hire thousands of people, but police say it was disrupted when a fight between two women got out of control, Fox 8 News reports. "I was filling out my application when I saw two girls fighting," said Joseph Shores. Police say the fight was over a boy, and it started verbally and escalated into a physical fight that spilled into the crowd. After that, witnesses say the fight escalated as the two continued to fight inside a car.  "One girl was on top of the driver, beating her. Then the driver went forward, somehow it kicked into reverse, and the car went backward, hitting three people. It was crazy!" said Arnecia Patterson.

I can only assume the fight over a boy was about the Hamburglar,  the guy just gives off a raw sex kind of vibe.  And I say that with a staunch record of heterosexuality.

Someone really needs to explain this whole "McDonald's hiring 50,000 people in one day" thing to me.  Like are they opening up an entire neighborhood of McD's in some Ohio suburb?  Wouldn't it have made more sense to higher people in various locations across the nation instead of this one Ohio parking lot? If I wanted a job at McDonalds (which I don't) would I have had to fly out to Ohio to apply for a job in Chelsea? Shit doesn't make much sense unless I'm just interpreting this all wrong.

And even if it is a national hiring spree and I'm just an idiot, doesn't this seem like a ridiculous expansion? 50k employees must double the size of US employees easily. Are they legit deporting every illegal immigrant that works at McDonald's right now, is that why there is a need? Because unless there's a bunch of new restaurants cropping up all over the place all this will mean for me is a whole new slew of retards ready and willing to screw up my order, which I'll happily still eat.

Let's See if You Can Guess What This Mugshot Was For...

Was this Hall of Fame Mugshot the result of an arrest for:

• Driving a stolen vehicle
• Driving through a taped off homicide crime scene
• Driving under the influence
• Indecent exposure for driving with your dick out in the open
• Driving while wanking it to a porno mag on the passenger seat
• All of the above

Did you guess "All of the above?"

I'm sure you did, seems like the obvious play here. 

Boston Judge in Hot Water Because He Doesn't Believe Everything Police or the DA Tell Him to Believe...Shocking

Boston Globe - Dougan may be the most lenient judge in Boston, a prosecutor’s nightmare whose decisions are appealed by district attorneys far more often than any other judge in the Boston Municipal Court system, court records show. Appeals courts overturn his decisions the most, too, more than once including stern warnings that he should follow the law instead of his personal feelings. The 20-year-veteran judge’s reputation is so well established that one defendant predicted to police that he would go free after he went before “Judge Let Me Go’’ Dougan, according to the police report....Dougan’s defenders, including numerous defense attorneys, say that Conley’s tactics are both unwarranted and a threat to the independence of judges. “Some judges will do what the district attorney wants 95 percent of the time,’’ said Peter Krupp, board member of the Massachusetts Trial Lawyers Association, which has filed a brief supporting Dougan with the SJC. “Is the judge doing what the law requires, independently exercising his discretion, or is the judge abdicating his or her discretion in deference to the DA?’’ Dougan’s attorney, Michael B. Keating, says Conley is harassing a judge with an “unblemished record.’’

So the Boston Globe ran this gigantic expose on this "Judge Letmego" character earlier this week that took me about 4 days to finish reading.  Basically they could have summed it up with: "Judge Dougan is the most lenient and criminal friendly Judge in Boston, prosecutors, cops, and victims alike hate him."   Seriously Globe, that would have sufficed.

But that's aside the point here, the main point here should be that in Boston, apparently it's not ok for a Judge to independantly weigh the facts of a case without just doing whatever it is the DA wants him to do or believing every word that comes out of a police mans mouth.  Shocking.  You'd think one infallable tennant of our Justice system was that the Judge was supposed to just agree with whatever law enforcement officials say given the outrage over this judge finding a few people innocent.  This isn't Russia with the KGB people, wake up, you might not like a judge's decision once in a while but its still a far better system than one where the corrupt and power thirsty officers are your judge, jury, and executioner.