Treadmill Fail

Image from Midwest Sports Fans

Love how his buddy made no attempt to help him.  That's what you get for being a jackass and making all that noise on the treadmill while he's trying to relax and watch some tv. Dick.

Life In Eastern Europe/Russia Is A Bitch

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I'd rather live in the heart of Africa with AIDS and fly covered babies all around me  than in any place that is considered the former Soviet Union. I just couldn't make it over there in their nihilist world.  I'd last approximately 4 hours before someone dared me to do something life risking and I died.

Look at these frigen people. I've never seen a bleaker Resistance of life. What the hell is the protagonist here even wearing? Acid Washed Daisy Dukes, come on bro, we can practically see your dingle berries from here.  And what was the grand plan here anyway? To jump into the stagnant pool of water? Awesome idea kid.  That's not going to get you onto Jackass, that's going to get you rabies. Idiot.

Notice no one called an ambulance or anything, guy went head first into a stone wall and was out cold and his friend just picked him off, and in some horrible sounding language essentially told him to walk it off (loosely translated of course). Like they aren't aware of the severity of spine injuries? Or the on-going concussion epidemic? 

Nope, the bully decides to just put some of the aforementioned stagnant water on his face, that should help. You won't get pink eye or anything from washing your face in that shit. Just walk it off Ivan.

The Rock is Back

CW is as shocked as the rest of you that he's willing to walk away from roles like this.

Miami Herald - Do you smell what's cookin'? The Brahma Bull, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson will `bring it' to WrestleMania XXVII. WWE (NYSE: WWE) announced Monday night that The Great One will return home to be The World's Most Electrifying Host of WrestleMania on Sunday, April 3 at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. As The World's Most Electrifying Host of WrestleMania XXVII, The Rock will lay the SmackDown on all of the pomp and festivities that makes WrestleMania the world's greatest, annual pop culture extravaganza.


Why would a guy who had starring roles in such critically acclaimed films as; Faster, The Other Guys, Why Did I Get Married II (I hear that's the one worth watching), and Tooth Fairy, all in 2010 alone move back to the small screen and into the ring?


Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled, it brings me back to a simpler time in my life when my biggest concern was being done with homework in time for Tuesday night wrestling, but it just doesn't add up.  Clearly his brutish charm and community theater level acting skills were paying off big time in Hollywood.  And it's not like the competition has been too stiff lately for muscle bound, macho men roles.  When  your main rival is Vin Diesel I'd say you can pretty much bank on 3-4 movie checks per year. 

So why go back? Well probably because this guy is the current WWF Champion, and as the 2nd greatest WWF champion of all time it cannot possibly sit well that a Real World reject who used to run around drunk on MTV in his underwear, is sitting in his former throne.  The 8th grader in me can hardly handle the anticipation of Mike the Miz catching his first "People's Elbow" to his smug grill. Watch out Mike, The Rock is Back.

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Toss up: Philadelphia or Detroits Civic Statues, Which is More Pathetic?

My Fox - Detroit needs RoboCop...That was the premise of a 1987 movie in which RoboCop, a terminally wounded cop turned cyborg, protected a crime-ridden city. Now what started out as a tweet to Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has turned into a social media movement that suggests a statue of RoboCop is just what the city needs.

Serious toss up here, which cities pride and joy statue is more pathetic, The Rocky Statue in Philadelphia, or the proposed Robocop statue in Detroit?

Let's get one thing clear here from the get-go. They're both terribly pathetic. When your city's pride and identity is based off a fictional movie character, well, your city pretty much sucks.  You're openly stating that no one of any level of greatness has chosen to live in, and impact your city in recent time, you're that undesirable of a place to live.

That said, the Rocky statue is more pathetic.  A city that supports 4 major sports teams had to resort to a fictional sports character to invoke peoples pride in their city.  Phili isn't exactly Cleveland, either. They've had some championship teams, and some real sports stars pass through their city. It's absolutely bewildering to an outsider how a city can bond with a fictional sports character over some of the greats that have played in Phili. 

Detroit's proposal for a statue of a fictional robot may be absolutely retarded, but it's no where near as delusional as Phili's Rocky statue.  No one growing up in Detroit is going to confuse Robocop for an actual cop that patrolled the cities mean streets, but I can certainly imagine the confusion Rocky causes grade school kids trying to figure out why there'd be a statue down town of a sports figure that never existed.

Safe to Say This is Not How These Ladies Wanted to Spend Valentines Day

EMBED-Hot Chicks Are Sick Of Rock Band - Watch more free videos

I don't care how mad you're because you're boyfriends made you watch them play Guitar Hero on Valentines Day, domestic violence is never justified.

Like here are these two guys presumably pouring their hearts out the only way they know how, through the power of the rock ballad, and you return the favor with this? A full extension (great form) shot to the nads and the classic "text book upside the head" maneuver.  That's bull shit ladies.

What makes it even worse is that you know for a fact if these guys tried to play a little fun loving prank on their lady friends they'd be arrested on the spot.  Can't run around dropping book knowledge on chicks and punching box. Shit's illegal and it should go both ways.

Another Failed Robbery Attempt, This Countries Criminals Suck

Sadly, this is pretty much all banks need for security these days

CRANSTON, R.I. — A would-be bank robber was foiled after a teller shut the security door and told him the bank was closing.  Cranston police told The Providence Journal that it happened Thursday around 7 p.m., closing time at a Citizens Bank counter inside a grocery store. Major Robert W. Ryan says the man gave the teller a note written on a ripped paper plate that said, "This is a robbery." The teller put down the security curtain, told the man the branch was closing and closed the security screen door. Ryan says the man walked quickly away, empty-handed. Police are looking for the man.

Honestly? "We're closing" and you just give up? That's weak bro.  Are robbers still not reading my blogs? I've laid out the playbook a few times now, this shit is not hard. Walk in, flash the gun, get the money. Plain and simple.  It's a frigen bank dude, they don't run out of money just because the minimum wage teller tells you they're closing.  

And here's another message to all would be robbers, stop watching Hollywood movies. No one passes notes in the real world.  Way to give the guy a heads up that you're about to rob him.  If you're going to to go that route you have to go guns blazing. Make the kid behind the counter piss his pants so he can't pull the security curtain.  Otherwise be a man and tell the guy what you want. It doesn't make it any less of a felony just because you scribbled it on paper. If anything you're just going to be laughed at now when you get arraigned in court for acting like a big shot movie star when in reality a curtain and a screen door were enough to prevent you from robbing a bank.  Real weak bro.

New US Marines Recruiting Video (Awesome Vid Inside)

See more funny videos and TBT at Todays Big Thing.

Aside from damn near having a heart attack the first time I watched the video because I was waiting for his ass to get blown up Hurt Locker style, this is easily the most bad-ass video I've seen this year.  

And the Marines probably don't want to hear it, but you guys want more recruits? Show this shit in high schools.  I've considered a career in the military approximately 17 seconds total in my life, and 15 of those seconds came at the end of this video.  I'm not even your target audience (impressionable teenagers, easily brain washed), I'm a sort of adult and I still thought this was awesome enough to run down to my local recruiters office (I've since lost my motivation, apathy is a bitch).

It shouldn't stop there either. Someone needs to start a 24 hour Al-Jazeera style network or website just showing that video every 30 seconds.  If anything is going to intimidate those backwards ass fundamentalists over there its this guy, kind of a modern day Rambo, break dancing and grinding all over their IED's.