Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Brookline Kids to Practice Reverse Trick or Treating To Protest Working Conditions in Chocolate Factory's




BROOKLINE (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - When Abby and Mark Manuel come to Trick-or-Treat at your house on Halloween they'll actually be giving you chocolate and a lesson. The chocolate their handing out is Fair Trade Chocolate and will come with a card that aims to bring awareness about poor working conditions and child labor in many name-brand chocolate factories. It's called Reverse Trick-or-Treating and it's being supported by a company called Equal Exchange.

10 Year old CW would have ate this shit up...literally. Yea I'll sign up for this Fair Trade Chocolate thing, oh sure, I'll hand out this chocolate while collecting other candy on Halloween...Bunch of suckers. Just doubled my candy intake without even visiting a house, I'd one hundred percent pocket the chocolate and ditch the "awareness card" in the recycling bin.  Don't try to teach me a lesson on Halloween, I'm a candy capitalist, I'm not here for your socialist lessons. 

And I don't know how working in a chocolate factory as a kid can be a bad thing, I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (even begrudgingly saw that horseshit Tim Burton version), did those Oompah Loompah's look like they were being unfailry treated? They lived in a fantasy land with chocolate rivers, candy walls, Ever Lasting Gobstoppers, and just about every other candy you could imagine...Safe to say they weren't exactly rouging it...Sure all the candy seemed to have turned their skin a color only the most hardcore Guido's could love, but that aside, it looked like they were having a blast...If I was a kid in Columbia I'd take working in Carlos' Chocolate Factory over working in the cocaine processing plant any day of the week.

Poor working conditions? This place looks awesome!

As An Occupier, Do you Quit When a One Day "Zombie-Crawl" Out Draws Your Fringe Movement You've been Working on For Weeks?



Zombies of all ages, shapes and fake blood types converged on the 16th Street Mall on Saturday for Denver's 6th annual Zombie Crawl. Daniel Newman, the 31-year- old founder of the event, estimated that 12,000 zombies were in or near Skyline Park an hour and a half after the crawl began. Many participants took the opportunity to parody the Occupy Wall Street movement. Justin Smith, 28, Valerie Rudden, 29, and Nick Pantier, 28, all from Denver, came to the event as "zombie-occupiers." They wielded cardboard signs splattered in fake blood that read, "corporate greed did this" and "coming for the 1 percent." "We aren't here as hard-core Occupy Denver people," Smith said. "It's a good movement to support and raise awareness of, but we are just down here for fun."

Clearest sign yet that the Occupy movements aren't going to catch on with regular, every day, main street Americans? When an organized Zombie-Crawl, not only A) Mocks you, but, B)Out draws you for a one day event when you've been protesting for a month in some locations.

Seriously, 12,000 people for a one day crawl? And you didn't have to camp out in a tent for weeks on end to achieve that number? Maybe you occupiers should appeal to these freaks, huh? How many people are at Occupy Boston on an average day? 500-1,000? 1500 at most? So tomorrow I could publish fliers, maybe get news attention, and tell everyone to show up on the Greenway on Saturday in full Zombie costume, and that would out draw your rinky-dink movement? That's probably the most damning evidence yet that this movement just isn't going to catch on...People would rather dress up as Zombies and stroll around the city aimlessly than hang out in a smelly tent town working on vague and all encompassing protests.

Keep up the good work occupiers. 

By the way, Kudos to these people that went balls out as Zombies, they look legit, like Hollywood movie legit.

My Two Cents on the Boston Area Day Spas Busted for Prostitution



BOSTON (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - 45-year-old Terry Mussari plead not guilty to charges of deriving support from prostitution in Brockton District court today. The Stoughton woman allegedly offered to provide an undercover State Police trooper with 12 women who would perform sex acts at a party in return for a payment of $1,720, a prosecutor said in court today.

So this has been the big story in Boston the past two days, and honestly I couldn't have given less of a shit about it at first, big whoop a chain of day spas were busted for prostitution, what else is new? But then two things happened, 1) Details were released about the police sting, which are absolutely ludicrous, and 2) Stories about annonymous tips kept getting released.

We'll start with the police sting, which apparently was some kind of elaborate scheme involving a bachelor party all coming for massages and happy endings...this one is strictly on the owner of the spa for stupidity...Never in my life have I heard of a bachelor party booking trips to the day spa, you've got to know something is up when a dude calls in for appointments for himself and 10 of his closest friends. It's just fucking weird, even with the promise of happy endings. Maybe it's just not my bag, but the last thing I'd want to do on my bachelor party is hang out at some day spa while all my closest friends take turns busting a nut, that's just a weird way to party.

Secondly, who the hell are the annonymous tipsters? What's their deal? Like I've already said, this isn't exactly my scene, but I'm not going to rush off and report a masseuse to the police for offering a little extra at the end. Just a simple no thanks and I'll be on my way. I mean, you have to go out of your way to report this to the police, this isn't a quick and simple 911 call, you've got to find the local police number, call in, go through their directory of various officers for various different crimes, leave a message (because god forbid a real live person answer the phone at a police department for once), and hope they call you back...All told, you're probably filing your police report like a week to two weeks later, all over some girl offering you a quick tug? Hardly seems worth the effort. 


Come Dove Hunting In Mexico! They'll Provide Armed Police Security for All Gringos!



Putting aside the fact that it's hard to believe Dove Hunting was a fluourishing tourist attraction in the first place, I'd say its about time that Mexico gave up on trying to attract tourists for a while and focus more on maybe eradicating tourist murdering drug lords.

When it's to the point where you have to assign me a newly created armed police guard for my dove hunting excursion, it's probably safe to assume I won't be getting on that flight. Hey, thanks for the effort Mexico, but as a general rule of thumb, if I'm carrying around a gun, and still don't feel safe enough and require a police detail, it's just probably not worth the risk.

Not to mention that you had to go out of your way to create a completely new police force because your last police force were basically body guards for the drug cartels.

And who are the complete nutbags signing up for this new police force? I'm pretty sure you'd have to pay me a hell of a lot more than 3x the regular police to turn down a bribe from Pablo Escobar...Like yea, $1,800 a month in Mexico is pretty damn good, but these guys are probably still better off taking the bribe. I mean $1,800 means nothing when you're dead in a shallow grave.

PS: This guy at the .30 second mark isn't helping your case...Another general rule of thumb for tourism is the guy trying to sell me on my vacation shouldn't be 10x more frightening than the villain in No Country For Old Men...this guy is fucking terrifying. No way in hell I'd go on a hunt with this man.

My Completely Rational Hate For Cecilia Cassini



You know how you just have irrational hate for some people? Like there's no real reason for you to hate them but you just do? This isn't that. This is the most rational hate I've ever had in my life.

Jesus H. Fuck you little girl. And I know how terrible of a person that sentence made me, but this isn't your average child. This girl is a class A bitch. Like Lohan's character in Mean Girls would be a tame version of her...she's definitely got her parents bunking in the kids room while she takes over the Master Suite. Could you just act like a real person? You're like a gay man trapped in a child's body, it's so fucking weird.

And honey, I hate to tell you this, but you've got clothes like a dickhead. Just because you stuck tinkerbell wings on the back of a dress they sell at Target doesn't make you special. It means some fashionista with an eye for little girls thought your dress was cute and need an "in" to get close with you. You can't just go walking around looking like a Disney fairy in real life outside of Halloween week.

Easily the best part of this girls life is going to be the day she shows up on page 6 of some gossip rag all strung out in her mug shot...but at least you'll look totally cute in your ridiculous clothes...

See, completely rational.