Celtics Down Lebron and El Heat Once Again

 

Twice in 10 days! Someone go ask Stephen A Smith if this one counted against the Heat? He's gotta be running out of excuses for Lebron and Co by now, right? I mean this one was at home, and the C's controlled it, basically tip-buzzer. 

And another thing...all those old "Chris Bosh is a young KG" comparisons from a few years back when everyone still thought Bosh had real talent, is there anyone we can contact to get those expunged from the Internet for good? It's just embarrassing that those comparisons even exist at this point. Bostrich might be one of the least useful players on the planet on that Heat team. Hell, Tommy Heinson's comparisons of Greg Steimsma (I don't even know if that's how you spell his name) to Bill Russell hold more weight than the old comparisons of Bosh to KG. That's how far he's fallen.  I honestly can't wait for the playoffs to start and that's something I would have never said about this Celts team 2 months ago. 

In other Boston sports news, the Sox lost again, and I'm one step closer to the ledge

EW Censors Jennifer Love's Talent

Fox - Jennifer Love Hewitt got a breast reduction in ad ad for her new show “The Client List” running in Entertainment Weekly. And she is not happy. Identical ads for the ‘Party of Five’ star’s new show ran in The Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Weekly. With one big difference. The ad in EW had been digitally altered. In the THR ad, and all of the other ads using the image, Love Hewitt is significantly larger up top. “Somebody sent me a copy of the photograph, and I was like, ‘Um, what happened?” she said on the radio on Friday. “I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but apparently somebody wanted me to have a boob reduction.”

In the history of bad advertising decisions, this will rank right up there with the best of them.  Whoever altered this image failed to grasp two undeniable facts:

1. JLH's fan base is men. Woman, for the most part, can't stand her, for exactly the same reason that men find her appealing...Her "assets" are the sole reason that god awful show, The Ghost Whiperer, lasted 5 seasons on CBS...5 SEASONS! And it was buried on a Friday night. But middle aged lonely men, and coming of age 12 year old boys all tuned in for two reasons. For this new show to survive its going to have to pull the male lonely and desprate 29-42 audience, and the young and hormone riddled 12-14 year old male segment.  Scaling back JLH's talent isn't going to help. 

2. A large portion of Lifetime's audience is men watching as a guilty pleasure. Sure we make fun of it all the time, but I'll be damned if each and every one of us doesn't secretly set the DVR for the next Lifetime Special Movie Event after seeing a commercial for it.  The beauty is, if you're living with a significant other you can just pass it off as you're doing them a favor, the old "oh I figured you'd want to watch that...hey you wanna make a bowl of popcorn and power through it right now?"  That's the audience the Client List should be going after, and their advertising should reflect that.

RIP Mirlande Wilson: The Maryland Lottery Mystery is Over

Fox News - Three Maryland public school system employees won a share of the record Mega Millions $656 jackpot, lottery officials announced Tuesday, ending a mystery that involved a McDonald's employee who claimed she had the golden ticket. The winners -- a woman in her 20s, another in her 50s and a man in his 40s who refer to themselves as "The Three Amigos" -- have decided to take the lump sum winnings and plan to purchase new homes. All three have indicated they intend to remain employees within Maryland's public school system. One employee is an elementary school teacher, another is a special education instructor and the third works in an administrative role, Martino said.

And thus ends the crazy Mirlande Wilson Mega Millions Side Show. At least she's got that job to fall back on at McD's though, right? Oh wait...all her co-workers hate her because A) They thought she was robbing them of millions, and B) The millions they thought they were being robbed of never even existed.  Ehh, that's nothing a couple of after work Mcflurrys can't smooth over. 

As for these Three Amigos, I'd like to personally thank you for holding out on coming forward for a few weeks. Allowing Mirlande Wilson to run her full circle of crazy game me the most material since Moammar Ghadafi was still saying crazy things...

One word of advice, quit teaching. If you feel the need to continue working despite your overwhelming wealth you should at least go back to school and learn a decent and profitable trade.

Safe to Say this Chip Eating Bro Handled this Subway Fight Alot Differently Than I Would

Huge props to this kid, he's clearly got more stones than I do. My usual reaction to a subway scuffle is one of two things, depending on my proximity to the situation.

1) In cases where I'm right there in the action, my eyes usually go wide and I stare at my feet or directly out the window across from me. I'll steal a glance or two, and maybe, just maybe try and covertly record the happenings on my phone from my coat pocket so I can review the footage later. In no way shape or form have I ever debated breaking one of these things up, just peak for a second or two and then back to the thousand yard stare...that's how you survive these things. The fact that this woman didn't take to whupping on this kid is frankly astounding.

2) If I'm a good distance away I stare, point, and laugh. At that point I'm just another face in the crowd to the two combatants. Why would I break up and entertaining fight on my daily commute while I'm just trying to enjoy my bag of potato chips?

PS: To the Nicaraguan that just got his ass beat, not a good look having to hide behind some honky-stranger. They take away your machismo card 9 times out of 10 for that. I'm not advocating you fight her, I'm just saying that a white knight literally riding to your rescue isn't going to help your cred.

[UPDATE!] Snackman's true identity discovered! His name is Charles Sonder, according to NYU Local, and he was on his way uptown with a friend "to grab some drinks with a couple of girls" when the fight broke out. "I felt the need to stop the fight as soon as I could," he told NYU Local. It seemed that the girl was the first one to make physical contact but that’s no excuse for any man to kick any female. I had to do something. Everyone else was just sitting there watching." Also, the chips in question were Cheddar Pringles and they were on top of a bag of gummi bears, not cheddar popcorn.

Tip of the hat to Charles Sonder, and somehow I respect you more for the gummi bears..

This Arod and Jeter Shirtless Photo Once Happened

 

And I always thought Arod's...confusion, for lack of a better word, started when he first put on the pinstripes...apparently this goes back a long, long way. I mean, the other three are Rey Ordonez, Edgar Renterria, and one of the Alex Gonzalez's (Gonzali?).  And given the fact that Arod is front and center, this is clearly the work of his own artistic vision. I bet he's such a diva on photo shoots. Demanding Fiji water and shit.

Two observations: 1) Nomar must have been complete bullshit when he wasn't included in this, which now finally explains this photo, he just felt left out. 

2) If you're Jeter, how do you allow this to exist? I'd have thought there were no ends to what he wouldn't pay to have all copies of this removed from the 'net. In fact, that's part of the reason why I'm posting this...hopefully I caught a rogue copy still floating around and now Mr. Yankee's gonna have to cut me a sweet check to take this thing down.