Does Boston.Com Really Not Know How Wishes Work?

From Boston.Com

Boston.com can't possibly not know how wishes work, right? Like if we tell them our 11:11 wish, it's not going to come true, same to all the morons that blew up Facebook feeds everywhere with their corny wishes. Come on people, this can't be the first time you've ever wished for something. Hate to break it to this "Michelle" from NH, but unless you count getting your comment posted, you'll now never become a published author. Don't blame me, that's just how it works.

Another part of me believes Boston.com knows exactly what they're doing here...By getting everyone to send in their 11:11 wishes, and thus nullifying them, they're increasing the odds that the Boston.com editor's own wishes will come true, because as anyone who knows anything about wishes knows, there's only so many wishes that can come true on any given day...Why do you think no one ever wins the lottery after wishign for it? You're all wishing for the same thing, just bugging up the system and cancelling eachother out. Boston.com has found a loop hole, just nullifying everyone in the greater Boston area's wishes all at once.

Well played Boston.com, well played.

Occupy Harvard: What a Joke

Harvard students remain at Occupy protest: MyFoxBOSTON.com

My Fox Boston - Occupy Harvard protesters are unhappy with the way the university is spending its 32-billion dollar endowment and are asking the university to be more socially responsible and less corporate. Student protesters, as well as members from other area organizations, took part in a march Wednesday that began at Harvard Yard, stopped traffic on Massachusetts Avenue and temporarily shut down Harvard Square. The Harvard students spent the night in tents on Harvard Yard and claim they are not going anywhere. "I will be graduating with 60-thousand dollars in debt and I would remind everyone that the endowment of Harvard is equal to that of the GDP of Ethiopia and I think that is unjust,” said student, Alex Auriema. "My goal is to stay here and make our voices heard as long as need be."

WAAAHHH, Harvard Costs a lot of money, WAAHHH, it might take me a few years before I start making six figures and easily pay off my debt.

Quit bitching guys, unless you're majoring in the History of Pottery or something stupid like that, you'll be fine.  If you don't want to feed the system more money, you can drop out, believe it or not, that's an option.  If you want a university for the 99%, you should probably go to Salem State or even better, Bunker Hill, I'm sure they'll be happy to take you.

But short of that, I'm not sure I understand the issue here? So the school takes your money and uses it as it sees fit, which it has every right to do? Weird. They're in the business of making money and ensuring the financial stability of the school for generations to come, those bastards! Lets get em!

Please grow up, go to class, I'll see ya in a few years when you're my boss.

I'm Pretty Much the Only Person Who Knows How to Drive on a Rotary

For the most part, when driving, I just assume I'm the only one who knows what I'm doing. I'm well aware this leads to many double standards, and I'm just fine with that. I'm physically a superior driver to most, so the double standards just come with the territory, for instance if you ride up my ass, I'm going to tap the breaks on you, but if you're going to slow in front of me I'm going to ride right up your ass, and somehow this makes sense to me...It might be completely illogical, but it just makes me feel better knowing that I'm better than everyone else on the road.

Well guess what? Yea 95% of the time I might just be foolish for thinking I know best, but that other 5% of time, the time spent on Rotary's, I know with 100% certainty that I'm the only one that knows what they're doing. It drives me fucking nuts, takes years off my life, and the worst part about it is Massachusetts is the Rotary Captial of the world.  Just real quick, off the top of my head, I can think of 6 rotary's within 3 miles of my apartment...Basically any direction I decide to go in, I'm hitting a rotary.

This shouldn't be a problem, except people, for whatever reason, freak the fuck out when they encounter the rotary (or round about, if you're weird and are from England). People drive like absolute dickheads, like all of a sudden they reach a circle and the normal rules of the road cease to exist because we're driving in a big left handed turn. What the hell people!?

Drivers slow down, people ride on the outside blocking exits, people attempt to cut across three lanes of traffic to make an exit from the inside lane, and people just straight up make up their own lanes...just doing whatever the hell they please. And don't even get me started on people entering the rotary, they're either entirely too agressive, cutting me off as I'm coming around the bend, or, even worse, they're the biggest nervous wreck ever to drive a vehicle, slowly inching into the traffic circle at a pace of 1 mph. It's infuriating. 

So with that in mind, I'm going to post this link as a helpful public service announcement.  If you're planning on driving in the Massachusetts area, I'm begging that you all read this, as it plainly lays out rotary etiquette in hopes that you won't end up driving like a complete asshole the next time you encounter one of these mythical traffic circles.

Pippa Middleton Single and On the Prowl

Fox News - British beauty Pippa Middleton broke up with her long-term boyfriend after a string of arguments. The Duchess of Cambridge was consoling her younger sister after the pert-bottomed beauty split from her longtime lover. Friends said that she and ex-cricketer Alex Loudon, 31, had several heated disagreements in recent weeks. Middleton, 27 -- who caused a sensation in a figure-hugging bridesmaid dress when Prince William wed her sister in April -- was revealed Thursday night to have immediately sought solace from the royal couple, both 29. "Pippa tried to get over the split by spending last weekend with Wills and Kate at [Scottish royal residence] Balmoral," a source said. "She and Alex split briefly in the summer, but this time it's over. They are barely speaking." Just two months ago, the couple stunned fellow guests at a friend's wedding by having a blazing argument. The source added, "It was said after the wedding that Alex was jealous of Pippa flirting with Prince Harry. But the truth is, she and Harry are just [friends]." Other friends claimed that the couple's bust-ups stemmed from Loudon not being able to cope with Middleton's new status as a sex symbol.

And now how the article should have opened: "In news shocking to absolutely no one, Pippa Middleton and her long time lover Alex Loudon, have recently split after Alex's continued concerns that Pippa was Royally Screwing Prince Harry of the Royal Family."

Spare me the stuff about him struggling to deal with her being a sex symbol, she was hot shit for about 3 months when her ass was drastically overvalued, things have settle down since. This has to do with one thing and one thing only, Pippa wanting to get a royal drilling. 

I'm just surprised it took this long, if you suspect your significant other is being stuffed by a prince, she's probably being stuffed by a prince. I mean, you just can't compete with the what a Prince has to offer, despite what that hoky Spin Doctors song would have you believe. Listen Alex, I'm sure you're a nice guy, and playing that fake Cricket sport is probably a huge turn on for a lot of ladies in England, but Harry's a prince. 

Basically from birth on broads have it drilled into their heads that they're all princesses, even though a quick check of most family trees would confirm a complete lack of royal blood lines. Unfazed by that fact, these girls then go on to live their entire lives in pursuit of making that little fantasy come true. Yes, they'll settle when it becomes obvious that they're not going to meet a real life prince, they'll pick the next best guy that makes them feel like a princess, and that usually works just fine...usually. But you happened to have the poor luck to be dating one of the few girls in the entire world who has access to an actual prince, and that my friend, is your undoing. 

Know How I Know this Jesus Turns Water into Wine Video Is Fake?

Funny, but ultimately fake? Because no one, and I mean no one uses random water bubblers in parks any more...I'm pretty sure all the parks in my hometown just shut them off a few years ago, the last time I used one was probably 1994, during a heated battle of Can't Touch the Ground (CTG if it ever becomes a real sport) at a local play ground.  Somewhere along the way everyone just realized these things were like breeding grounds for super plagues, like Hep-C, Aids, and the Plague all mixed together...basically the equivalent of just putting your face in a bird bath and drinking. Would you do that? Hell no. And you shouldn't be drinking from public bubblers either. 

And if people drinking from bubblers wasn't enough proof, there's also the fact that no one freaked the fuck out on JC. I mean some homeless looking guy in the park comes up to you, blesses you, and poisons your water and you just stare? I can tell you for sure if that happened in real life Jesus would have a serious problem on his hands. I'm talking we'd find out real quick if he really can resurrect himself in 3 days because people would just not stand for this stuff in modern society.

Adult Star Sasha Grey Reads to Local 1st Graders, Parents Apparently Upset

TMZ - Porn legend Sasha Grey -- winner of the 2010 AVN award for best anal sex scene -- was invited to read books to 1st graders at an L.A.-area elementary school last week ... but the school tried to cover it all up ... after parents pitched a fit. TMZ has obtained photos of Sasha reading children's books at Emerson Elementary School in Compton on November 2nd ... participating in the Read Across America program. Grey, who hasn't done porn in 2 years, may have been invited because she's mainstream now, with credits which include "Entourage." Sasha tweeted about the experience -- calling the students the "sweetest" ever. However, not everyone saw it that way ... some angry parents complained to the PTA -- who then contacted the school's principal.

I'll be extremely disappointed if I find out that Dr. Seuss book in her hands isn't Hop on Pop, extremely disappointed.

I don't quite get the issue here, yea she was a porn star, but its not like these 6 year old kids know that, right? Is she not qualified to read because she used to like getting stuck in the ass on film for money? Seems unfair. I could see if we were complaining about Sasha teaching health class to say 6-12th graders who would undoubtedly be familiar with her work (and if they weren't they'd be googling it on their sidekicks during class), but we're talking about 6 yr old kids far more interested what comes after Red Fish, Blue fish, than knowing what hole was her favorite hole to get stuffed in. Bottom line is she's doing a good thing here, volunteering to read to inner city children. Lets put it this way, I'm not volunteering to go read to a bunch of kids in Compton, so if she wants to, good for her.

And to the parents...how do you guys know what she used to do for a living anyway? Sounds like some parents maybe be perusing the internets after their kids hit the hay...

Happy Veterans Day to All the Troops, And Go Tarheels

First a serious, and sincere Thank You to all the troops serving and who have served, Thanks for keeping our country safe, and fighting, in part to allow overly opinionated bloggers such as myself, to continue espousing opinions and rants whenever I see fit.

Now, that said, do you think you guys can ensure that UNC gets the good side of the court, the one where the sun isn't in their eyes, and maybe the wind isn't so bad? I don't know if you guys heard, but this game counts, and I'd hate to see my team go down on opening night because of weather...that's just not how basketball is supposed to be decided. I mean, it's cool, I love that they're honoring the troops, but couldn't they have just sold tickets to active military only at a local arena? My very first thought upon hearing this was, "man I hope none of the 'Heels get sea sickness. Is that really what basketball fans should be worried about on opening night? Players puking from sea sickness.

And don't these ships have insides? There's no where in that city sized ship that a basketball court and some bleachers can be thrown together? It just seems odd that the NCAA, after decades of playing on land, and in-doors, would choose to play on a boat and outside, out of the blue...and it's not like its an expedition game, or two mid-major teams, these are major teams.

But I digress, I hope the troops have a blast tonight, it's well deserved for all you do (but seriously, any edge you could give the heels would be much appreciated).