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| These two have any balls, they'll wear this shirt to court |
Police said two roommates got drunk Monday morning and tried to break into a College Street residence. Iowa City Police Officers responded to 327 E. College St. at 1:56 a.m. Monday for a report of two subjects trying to open a door. Two subjects matching the descriptions given to officers were located next door inside 325 E. College St. Police said the two men, were found to be in possession of a black coat, a Iowa Hawkeyes flag and a frozen pizza, police said.
Talk about getting a bad rap, if a black coat, a flag, and some frozen pizza are all that's missing, I'd say this was a pretty successful party. I mean how many people go home with the wrong coat, or with no coat at all after a normal college party? 5? 10? I'd say at least that many. I don't think I successfully went home with the same coat I walked in with from a single college party ever. One semester I realized I'd been perpetually leaving my coats at this one kids apartment, and he took them all home for summer break, and I took them all back the next fall...that was the ebb and flow of college. I'm honestly shocked a coat was even reported stolen, you just steal one back. Head down to res-cafe and snag a similar coat of equal or lesser value.
And don't even get me started on the trumped up charge of stolen frozen pizza. I didn't even know you could arrest people for that. I don't think my roommates and I EVER hosted a party where all the frozen food in our freezer wasn't gone by the next morning. It got to the point where we were stocking up the freezer with just worst $.99 frozen pizza's and entree's you could buy because the theft was so prevalent. Joke was on them when they shit their brains out a few hours later. People treat frozen food at a kegger like party favors.
The worst time happened when a couple of drunks ate our frozen pizzas (the good ones this time, Digiorno), and then proceeded to leave a Thank You note on the card board box, which they stuffed into the oven, you know, so it'd be some place we'd be sure to find it...Like the next morning when I was preheating the oven and happened to notice a large chunk of card board chilling in there before it started a 5-alarm fire.
The worst time happened when a couple of drunks ate our frozen pizzas (the good ones this time, Digiorno), and then proceeded to leave a Thank You note on the card board box, which they stuffed into the oven, you know, so it'd be some place we'd be sure to find it...Like the next morning when I was preheating the oven and happened to notice a large chunk of card board chilling in there before it started a 5-alarm fire.
So what I'm saying here is, any lawyer worth a damn will get these two 'tards off without even breaking a sweat, just go in there make a couple, boys will be boys, college students comments and walk out...
