Man Arrested After Calling 911 over Probelm with Viagra.

AOL - Police hope a man in Florida will think long and hard before he prank calls 911 again...Investigators in Broward County say 28-year-old Matthew Wade Douglas Jr. is responsible for two obscene 911 calls in which a man graphically described symptoms -- and raunchy home remedies -- following an alleged overdose on the impotence drug Viagra...Dispatchers say the man spoke explicitly about the effects the pills were having on his body, then detailed how his "wife" was performing oral sex on him to help reduce the pain. (Police put quotation marks around the word "wife" apparently because his marital status was in question.)...In February, detectives returned to the address with a recording of the 911 calls. That's when the homeowner recognized the individual on the phone as Douglas -- a man who had dated his daughter.

I don't understand the issue? Do they not tell you on the commercials to seek medical help if there is trouble with an erection lasting more than 4 hours or other side effects?  Poor guy was just doing as instructed and now he's being arrested?

Like how else is the guy going to describe the fact that he's had a raging boner for an entire evening? And aren't details involving remedies he's tried so far a part of the normal medical history that Doctors usually seek when treating anyone? Would you prefer he just march down to the station and whip it out and see if you can treat it without any prior information?  Because I don't think that's going to be good for anyone.  As far as I'm concerned Matt Douglas did nothing wrong here.

If you're sensibilities are that delicate that you can't take a man calmly explaining a situation involving a medically enhanced stiffy then maybe the job of 911 operator aint for you.  What the hell, I thought these people were trained to be cool and calm in the face of an emergency, what would have happened if this was a life or death situation?

Father Sues School Because Fat Kids Weren't Chosen Last In Gym Class

A Pen Argyl man has sued the Pen Argyl Area School District claiming his mixed-race sons have been discriminated against by the district and its middle school basketball coaches.  A federal judge has shot down a portion of the complaint, however, and district officials consider that a sign the entire lawsuit ultimately will be rejected. "You can see how the district puts big, fat, obese white kids and white, short weaklings on the basketball court, and they didn't play my kids," said William Blasi, whose sons are half white and half Chinese. "You can't deny the discrimination."

When you're right, you're right.  I mean what else am I supposed to believe here?  That this guy's mixed-race sons don't have the athletic prowess of a super-being?  Come on, that seems unlikely.  Even if super-being is a bit much, I don't think it's going out on a limb to assume they at least have more skills and swag than your average fat 5th grader when it comes to basketball.  I mean I knew a few "mixed-race" kids in middle school, the kids were grabbing rim in the 6th grade, dunking in the 8th, unless we're talking slam ball with trampolines and shit there aint no chance in hell a few "big, fat, obese, white, short weaklings" are even sniffing the net.  Hell you could have stopped at white, didn't even have to throw in fat and weakling.

...Oh wait a second, they're half white/half asian? Sorry dude, you're shit out luck, honest mistake.  Unless they have something like Yao Ming height, I'll take the fat kid every day.  Asians that can ball are just few and far between. Don't shoot the messenger, it's just science.

High School Teacher Suspended Over Sexual Innuendo's On His Exams

I suppose you'll find some sexual innuendo here too?

Fox News - A South Florida high school advanced placement psychology teacher has been disciplined for giving a quiz filled with sexual innuendoes. Frank Rozanski of William T. Dwyer High School in Palm Beach Gardens was teaching a lesson on social psychology and perceptions. The questions each had a non-sexual answer but words like "discharge" and "penetrate" could lead the reader to a racier interpretation. Parents of a few students complained and school officials agreed that the questions were inappropriate. Principal Joseph Lee would not disclose how Rozanski was disciplined, but said Rozanski continues to teach at the school.

I'm shocked, just shocked!  A psychology class using sexual terms on its tests? Students and parents "interpreting" words as they weren't intended to be interpreted.  The horror!

It's frigen AP psychology, what the hell else did you expect? Basically every psychology class I ever took boiled down to people having underlying sexual motivations for doing just about anything we do on an every day basis.  Honestly, what else did you think this guy was going to teach about, let me break it down:

Guys - Cars, education, employment, clothes, athletic accomplishments, all deep down at their very root are things we pursue or use in hopes of making ourselves appear more worthy to mate with.  You're bull shitting yourself if you believe anything else.  It's our biological subconsious.

Girls - Makeup, hair, clothes, and diet- Ditto. All so you can attract mates who rank higher in their respective categories. No other reason, you want a partner that will give you the best possible offspring you can create. Plain and simple.

By the way, to the parents and school board who gave these terms "racier interpretations," get your minds out of the gutter. Freud would have a field day with you sexually repressed clowns.

Do Not Steal This Guys Parking Spot (vid)

I love that this guy had the gall to go through with this, something I wish I could do.  Chances are I'd probably just sit there and lay on the horn, maybe give a hard look at the person with my arm out the window...and then I'd speed off if it looked like they were up for confrontation, yea I'd pussy out.

Not this guy. Just in his glory pissing all over this broads stick shift and steering wheel.  You see that no hands move he throws out there?  Just putting it all on display for everyone to see, living in the moment.  As a fellow road-rager I think I can definitively say that what he's experiencing is as good as it gets.  Pure revenge and satisfaction.

PS Bro, what's with the sweaty back? Might want to get the AC checked in that shit box.

I'd Be Proud to Call this Boss Trailer Home

 

Blah Bethany - With the overwhelming popularity of my pirate bedroom blog, I searched the internet for an even more amazing bedroom and I found this guy’s TRAILER. You might be wondering, “A trailer? Really, Bethany? How can that beat a pirate ship with a 2 story slide and drawbridge? Well…….. I don’t know. I’m not sure I can answer that question, but it just does. WINNING! 

 

Don't get me wrong, this trailer is frigen awesome (seriously click the link to see the rest of the pics), but I call bullshit on Bethany here if she's implying that she'd still hook up with this dude.  No self respecting chic has ever hooked up in a trailer home, so you're either lying or trailer trash yourself.  I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not trailer trash, she knows how to use the internet and run a blog, which I think are rare qualities for trailer trash, so the ruling is bull shit.

No matter how nice your trailer may be, you've still got 3 things to worry about:

1.  Tornado's - I don't know why but trailer parks are magnets for Tornado's.  Science can't explain it and Glen Beck probably thinks its got something to do with Jesus, but the fact remains.  9/10 Tornadoes strike trailer parks (yes I just made that stat up, but I feel confident in it's veracity).  You're not going to get laid if the girl is nervously sitting around waiting for a scene out of Twister to play out.

2. Your home can be towed away, at just about any moment - Yep, park in some illegal parking spot for the night, wake up in the police impound.  That's the kind of thing you don't have to worry about when your home has a foundation, and no wheels.  

3.  The Kidnapping Threat - I'm not a chic or a trailer owner, so I'm not sure how great of a fear this is, but I'd imagine it's just as hard to lure a chic into a trailer as it is a van with no windows.  Vans may take the brunt of the "Rape-Mobile" stigma but I'd wager just trailers are just as high of a risk. 

Japan Earthquake and Tsunami's Bringing Out The Religious Nutjobs, like TamtamPamela (vid)

What happened to the good old days where a natural disaster hit, everyone chipped in to help out the victims and that was it, we called it a day?  After the quake everyone from youtube crazies like Tamtampamela above (I don't know how long the video above will be available, it keeps getting pulled, she's getting the death threats she rightfully deserves, turns out God is good), to Pat Robertson, to Glenn Beck are searching for religious reasons as to why such a natural disaster would happen.

Meanwhile God is probably up on high like "Bitch STFU, don't go telling people Japan is my fault, I got enough on my plate, I don't need the blame for this."  I mean I know I've joked about God being spiteful and the "smoting" one before, but I highly doubt the guy decided the kick of to lent should be human tragedy, just doesn't seem in his MO.

And as for Glen Beck:

BECK: We can't see the connections here. Now look, I'm not saying God is, you know, causing earthquakes. Well -- I'm not saying that he -- I'm not not saying that either.
God -- what God does is God's business, I have no idea. But I'll tell you this: whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus -- there's a message being sent. And that is, 'Hey, you know that stuff we're doing? Not really working out real well. Maybe we should stop doing some of it.' I'm just sayin'. And -- yesterday I got home and I was thinking about all the messages that I could bring in, all the things that I could tell ya, and oh I've got stuff on Hezbollah. Oh, I have stuff on radical Islam in America that'll make your eyes fall out. Or I could just tell you the answer, and the answer is: Buckle up. Buckle up, 'cause it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Make sure you keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times. Because, things are gonna get bumpy and, just a few reminders there at the beginning as this rollercoaster takes off, always a good safety tip: Keep your arms and legs in. Don't do anything stupid, what do you say we follow the big top ten. You can call them Moses' ten commandments, or ten rules of um. What do you say we start doing those things? Because the things we are doing really suck and they're not getting better.

Mind you this isn't some youtube crazy or radical Christian like Pat Robertson, this is a major figure in this countries news media, trying to connect the dots between an ongoing disaster and some kind of religious day of reckoning.  

Hey Beck, that shit is not helping, how about keeping your bigoted extremist views to yourself and using your position in the spot light for good.  How about directing people as to how they can help, where they can donate, what they can donate, how about being a good Christian and reaching out to those in need, you pompous ass hole.