Re-Post Re-Minder: The Alt-Tab on Off-Broadway Tonight! A Match Made in Heaven

 THE ALT-TAB IS GOING TO BROADWAY! (Well, off broadway, but I felt the caps locks and Broadway would be more attention grabbing).  Yep, that's right, we've finally made it, Lively Productions, will be putting on a show titled "Blogologues: I Need a Vocation" on August 29th at Under St. Marks theater in New York.  The show will feature the performances of several different blogs, obviously including our very own "Office Etiquette: Washing Your Hands at Work" post (reading it back I hope they correct my grammatical errors, I'm not one to waste a lot of time on spell checking). I'm certain they just stumbled upon us one day and were taken a-back by the enormous writing talent and story telling ability that is CW. Frankly, I'm shocked producers aren't lined up around the corner bidding for my creative genius services, but it's a down economy, I get it.

So anyway, if you're in the NY area this coming Monday check out the show, its playing at 7:30, and 9:00 PM, tickets are $15 and include a beer (so its not like you're getting ripped off like if you bought one of my t-shirts). Personally, you're crazy if you're in the tri-state area and miss this...a chance to see the ground floor for an aspiring and sure to be historic writer. How can you pass?

Obligatory Hurricane Irene Post

Video from Universal Hub

Yesterday was the Summer Olympics for our local newsanchors(Nor'Easters being the winter version), the A-team for Fox 25 getting the call from the bullpen on their usual day off and leading the team through roughly 16 hours of storm coverage, including, but not limited to: Boats improbably bobbing in the harbor, reporters losing their favorite hats (watch the vid, I shit you not), wind as demonstrated by dramatic shots of trees, and the always classic, reporter standing by flood walls, warning others not to stand by the flood walls.

The thing is, you'd think these people would be bummed out about a storm. You're outside working in miserable conditions for like 12 hours. Camera men just standing their getting drenched, reporters forced to ad-lib storm conditions that they really know nothing about, oh yea, and standing out in the freaking rain all day long, but there they are, loving every minute of it.  Kinda makes me wish I followed up and took weather 102 in college, maybe there's something to this weather thing. I mean I loved Weather 101, filled my science requirement, didn't take much thinking. Maybe that's the secret here. It's a mindless job. Watch a radar map, stand out in the rain or snow a few times a year and babble about the conditions. I think I missed the boat on this one.

Are Pre-Schoolers Desiging Celebrities VMA Outfits?

I...I don't know what to think here. I mean is Nicki Minaj the black Katy Perry or is this just the evolutionary (or de-evolutionary, is that a thing?) Lil' Kim look? Either way, hollywood musicians have completely lost their collective minds.  I mean aside from this, we had Katy Perry wearing a Greenbay Packer Cheesehead for a hat, The Biebs a cross between Elton John and Ellen Degeneres (trying to tell us something Justin?), and Lady Gaga looking like the Eurythmics crossed with the kid from A Bronx Tale.  Just absolute bizarro shit. Nothing stylish about it. It honestly looked like a few of them showed up at a local kindegarten class, gave the kids one of those sweet jumbo boxes of 64 Crayola Crayons (you were a boss as a 5 year old if you had the big pack, even if it weighed almost as much as you did) and told them to go nuts. 

Whatever happened to looking like a normal human being? Like how is it that Russell Brand was borderline the most normal looking person in the room? It's almost to the point where you'd be counter culture if you dressed in a classical, tasteful outfit. Everyone would be like "oh my, that's so bold, what a risk taker." Even though you'd be wearing the same American Eagle Polo and khakis I'm wearing to work today.

The Alt-Tab is Back Baby!

Not really sure what the explanation point was for, I literally couldn't be more depressed about having to start up this blog again.  Going back to my every day normal routine is absolutely going to kill me after going on a two week, responsibility free vaca. I legit had nightmares last night...but anyway, enough with my problems, I'm back and I'll deal with it.  We'll be easing back into the blog these first couple of days, don't want to over do it or pull a muscle getting back into the swing of things.

How was my vacation? Well thanks for asking! It was fantastic, aside from my two return trips home, which I'm fairly certain were karmic paybacks for all of the people I poke fun at. I took two seperate trips on vacation and I shit you not I may have had the worst two return trips home of all time.

It started last Friday with what should have been a short 3 hour flight home with an hour layover...not so fast my friend. 12 hours later I rolled into my apartment and hit the hay...at 4 AM!  The cabby from the airport had the audacity to ask me if my flight was planned for that time or if I hit delays.  Yea buddy, I enjoy hanging out by luggage carousels at 4 fucking AM with the incompetent and inefficient overnight crew of Logan Airport. Are you freaking kidding me? 4 AM! Worst part is, it didn't even have to be that late...I hit my change over in Baltimore and the gate attendant told me the plane was here, they were just waiting for pilots to fly it. Again, are you freaking kidding me?!?! How did the plane get there, get those pilots back, I don't care if they're exhausted, tell them to take a quick nap when we hit our cruising altitude, just get me the hell home.  Long story short, we took off at 2:05 AM, needless to say everyone on that plane was borderline ready to kill someone for the simplest perceived flight.  There was a baby crying and I had to be restrained from pressing the flight attendant button to see if I could have the baby kicked off. That's how on edge everyone was at that point. 

Fast forward a week to the end of vacation number two, this time on the Vineyard, and that miserable cock-tease Irene. First off, I'd like to say that the Steamship Authority that operates between the Cape and the Islands is without question the biggest steaming pile of beurocratic shit in the state of Massachusetts. Just incompetent tards running a public transportation authority. At one point while I was sitting on standby for 4 hours on Saturday I realized that anyone with a highschool GED and half a bit of common sense could run the whole operation.  I mean it, just degenerates who would otherwise belong in a mail room sorting interoffice memo's running the show. It was an absolute joke.  

Anyway, my ferry was originally scheduled for Sunday, which we knew most likely wasn't happening, only problem was the clueless employees of the Steamship Authority just wouldn't come out and say it. And forget about updating their website with information, sending out daily e-mails, or god forbid, answering their phones. Nope, I had to drive over to the goddamn central office every time I wanted information. I'd legit look at the lady with the most miserable face and ask if they were going to start updating their website, and she'd cheerily say yes...They didn't. I was back in that office 14 hours later for an update.  Not that it was a good update, I went to the office twice, got two different answers, someone in our house actually got through on the phone, he got a 3rd response, and their website hadn't been updated since mid-week.  That's right 4 different sources of information, and all I wanted to know is if my puddle jump of a ferry was going to be operating and if not when the fuck I could get off the island.  Well, finally the simple folks of the authority assured me if my ferry was cancelled Sunday I'd be re-booked on Monday or I could go sit on standby for hours on end Saturday.  Well considering the media was trumping up this storm like a Mark Whalberg/George Clooney type once a century storm I decided to the get the hell out of there. To me it made sense that they'd evacutate the island before the storm, but then again I have half a brain and am not operating a mass transportation group. 

So yea, vacation was fun, but I'm still stressed as hell...not to mention the multiple 1000's of emails I'll be presumably clearing out at work today.