Parenting: Kid Punished for Smoking Pot and Watching Porn

College Humor

So now all your neighbors know your teenager is a pot smoking masturbater...great parenting guys.  Why not just announce to your neighbors that you have no control over your kids whatsoever.

Retail Manager Verbally Bitch Slaps Girl Who Complained After Being Too Fat for Stores High-End Clothing.

Consumerist - The Herald Sun brings us the story of shopper Keara, who went shopping last week to find bridesmaid dresses for her wedding and another outfit for her bachelorette party. At GASP, Keara says a retail associate named "Chris" was nice at first but then went all Mean Girls on her when he realized she wouldn't be making a purchase, making fun of her size 12 body and yelling, "Have fun shopping at Supre [a local chain]... I knew you were a joke the minute you walked in." Mean, unwarranted, and just not something you do. To top it all off, Keara also works in the retail industry and says she'd never do something like that. A normal human wouldn't, or at least not expect to get away with it. But instead of the store apologizing or even being halfway decent when Keara sent in a complaint, a GASP area manager took the whole thing to a new level of despicableness.

What the hell is the Consumerist talking about? "new level of despicableness?" It's called knowing your core demographic and having your employees back.  I'd go in the fox hole with this manager any day of the week. He may come off as a prick but I can't imagine a better guy to work for. Instead of berating this guy for telling this chick she's wasting his time because she can't fit in their clothes anyway, he goes out and calls him a retail superstar and confirms that, yes, a girl who can't fit into the clothes they have in store is indeed wasting their time. It's a sad state on our society that a straight talking, manager of the people, can be berated for having the guts to speak honestly about his businesses employees and priorities. This man has a brand image to protect, and employees to retain, and that's exactly what he did.

Let's take a look at his response:

From the very outset, one thing that you should be mindful of is; Our product offerings are very, very carefully selected, so to ensure that we do not appeal to a broad customer base. This is something which is always at the forefront of our minds when undertaking buying duties. The reason for this is to ensure that we only carry products which appeal to a very fashion forward consumer. This by default means that the customer whom is acclimatised to buying from "clothing for the masses" type retailers, is almost frightened by our range, sometimes we have found that this type of customer, almost finds our dresses funny, and on occasion noted comments such as 'it looks like a dead flamingo'. When we receive comments like this, we like to give ourselves and our buyers, a big pat on the back, because we know we are doing our job right, and modus operandi is being upheld.
Our range is worn by A list celebrities to the likes of Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez and Katy Perry to name only a few. Now, as one might appreciate, the style counsel for these types of celebrities are not ones to pick "run of the mill" type clothing, and they do so on the basis to ensure that the styles are cutting edge, and only worn by a select few. Similarly these items are priced such that they remain inaccessible to the undesirable.

Translation: You're not exactly a pop supermodel. This isn't Walmart where you just pick whatever off the rack and it fits you like a burlap sack. These are fine clothes for fine looking people. We weren't going to sell anything to you anyway.

Let me guess, you would never, ever hire Chris in the course of your duty, would you? This is the very reason, why your comment "from one retailer to another" is so disproportionate, it's almost as though we are in a totally different industries. Chris is a retail superstar, who possess unparalleled ability, and I am sorry you feel upset by him, but he knew you were not going to buy anything before you even left your house. So if you would like to do us any favours, please do not waste our retail staff's time, because as you have already seen, they will not tolerate it. I am sure there are plenty of shops that appease your taste, so I respectfully ask that you side step our store during future window shopping expeditions.

Translation: I back Chris up 100%. Instead of wasting time appeasing you in your fantasy search for clothes you'd need a 12 month gym membership with an Army bootcamp instructor screaming in your face to fit into, he decided it might be more worth his time to help the store increase profits by moving on to customers that actually intended to buy something.  Your fanciful afternoon of window shopping isn't paying Chris' rent, kid wants to get paid.

Did the NFL Tell the Ref's It's Time for Another Giants Super Bowl?

ESPN - The go-ahead touchdown came after Manning threw 29 yards to Victor Cruz, who stumbled to the ground, got up and left the ball on the ground on a play the Cardinals insisted was a fumble. The referee said the call could not be challenged because Cruz "gave himself up" on the play and therefore was down.

Are you freaking kidding me NFL? What, did the Manning family pay the league office off again? What is going on here? I've never before heard of anyone "giving themselves up," unless you count a QB sliding feet first or a kick returner taking a knee.  Certainly never heard of anyone giving up by slipping and falling face first and leaving the ball on the ground before being tagged down. What an asinine ruling.

And if that's not bad enough I had to relive Eli's 2007 "close my eyes, wing and a prayer" touchdown heave play like .30 seconds later to Nicks. Between the ref's playing for the Giants and yet another Eli prayer, the end of the game was just eerily reminiscent to 2007. Renewed my hatred for that hick with a touch of Downs all over again. 

Only explanation is the league is acting in cahoots with the Giants, again. I mean how else do you explain the "Dream Team" sitting at 1-3 and Romo blowing double digit leads every other week? The league must have the ref's doing everything they can to clear an easy path to the division championship for New York.

Wake Up with Glow In the Dark Night Surfing

Red Tide Surfing San Diego 2011 Bioluminescence from Loghan Call on Vimeo.

iO9 - On the beaches of Southern California, a phytoplankton called Lingulodinium polyedrum is responsible for a spate of red tide. Massive algal blooms like this make the water ruddy during the day, but disrupting the microorganisms at night results in bursts of electric blue bioluminescence. 

God, surfers are so damn cool I can't even stand it, no sarcasm whatsoever.  Like it's not enough to just be out there cruising the waves, completely free, now they've got glow in the dark fish/fungus hanging on their jocks, just lighting up the night for them. Of all the things I've always wanted to try but haven't gotten around to, surfing has to rank on top, I just have an irrational confidence that' I'd be a natural at it.  Now I might just skip normal surfing and go right to glow in the dark surfing.