Jeff Jacoby Supports Public Smoking in Boston

Yea, this is what I want to see around park benches

Boston Globe - Many cities now prohibit smoking in outdoor parks, beaches, or public squares, so there is nothing surprising or original about a proposal to impose a similar ban in Boston.“We want these public places to be smoke-free so that everyone can enjoy...
It’s an asinine proposal. Anyone who is sensitive to secondhand smoke can easily avoid it outdoors. Moving to another park bench or stretch of beach to get away from a cigarette may be annoying, but it isn’t the purpose of law — or the City Council’s job — to protect us from every conceivable annoyance. If the councilors were proposing to ban noisy children or trashy dress from public parks, who would take them seriously? But come up with another way to crack down on smoking, and virtually no restriction is beyond the pale. Why?...
What explains this? No other personal habit is demonized as incessantly or banned as avidly as smoking. Americans who like to drink aren’t stigmatized in this way; why are those who like to smoke? Many of the same people who support every proposal to restrict tobacco would roll their eyes at anyone who called for reinstating the prohibition of alcohol. Why the difference? Alcohol has wrecked more marriages, caused more accidents, and fueled more crime than smoking ever has. Cigarettes may make you ill, but they won’t ruin your character or debauch your lifestyle.


Wow, Jeff Jacoby comes off as quite the asshole huh?  I'm shocked and appalled that the Boston Globe would run such an ill-thought out piece. What an absolute piece of garbage, published by one of the premier print newspapers in the country.

Really Jeff? You're ok with hanging out at a public park with your kids while some asshole doesn't have the common courtesy to not light up while on the same bench as you? Seems like common sense that the person causing pollution and ilness should be the one that makes concessions.  Why the hell should I have to uproot or avoid certain public areas all together so that a disgusting group of individuals can have a place to inhale burnt paper, tar, and leaves?

And by the way, the city does have noise ordinances and other behavioral rules for conducting one's self in public, even public indecency laws that deal with how we dress. There are also laws on the books that prevent drinking in public. So yes, laws preventing smoking in certain public arenas seems perfrectly reasonable, and I would assume anyone capable of rational thought would think so as well.
And all of this is without even touching upon the litter cigarette smokers leave behind.  

Oh, and by the way Jeff, I'm not sure if you can produce statistics backing up the "alcohol wrecking marriages etc...," but there are plenty of statistics readily available showing just how deadly first and second hand smoke can be. 

If you were just attempting to stir the pot, then mission accomplished, but its a sad statement that the Boston Globe would allow such a juvenile piece to be published. I mean if this is their example of a newsworthy Op-Ed piece, I don't see what's stopping half the opinions I toss out from being published.

My Worst Nightmare, Lady Drops Dead In Her Cube, No One Notices

DOWNEY (KTLA) -- An L.A. County employee apparently died while working in her cubicle on Friday, but no one noticed for quite some time.  51-year-old Rebecca Wells was found by a security guard on Saturday afternoon.  She was slumped over on her desk in the L.A. County Department of Internal Services.  The last time a co-worker saw her alive was Friday morning around 9:00 a.m., according to Downy police detectives.

This is what I keep telling everyone, life on the cube farm is serious. It's life and death in here every single day. One day you're checking in Friday morning, dreams of the weekend ahead of you, the next you're found dead by the illegal cleaning crew without anyone even noticing.  And obviously the office didn't even skip a beat, didn't notice she wasn't at lunch for god sakes. What kind of animals do we work with that don't even check to see if you want to come to lunch with them. It's a hard life being a desk donkey, for real.

And the hell if her boss was going to notice. Probably just figured she was swamped when she never checked in throughout the day and passed on her work to the next interchangeable pawn.  No sweat off his back, and nor should their be. He paid his dues at one time or another, made his way through the cutthroat cubicle wars all the way to an office with no windows. The hell if he's going to look back and take sympathy on any pathetic underlings when no one took an interest in him coming up. 

So let this serve in a lesson to all of you who think I'm joking when I talk about how much working every day in a corporate cube sucks.  Don't let Rebecca die in vain, for you college seniors, think of her every time you're tempted to just take that boring desk job "until you find out what you really want to do." You'll regret it when you end up dead, facedown on your keyboard as some Spanish lady tries to dust around your body.

A Few Rules Before Inviting Me Out

I like visiting people, getting together, having a good time, all that stuff.  I really do. What I don't like is the process of getting together, planning, coordinating, traveling, and figuring out the proper time to leave.  It's a pain in the ass and it stresses me out. There was a time not so long ago where I was literally up for anything and everything but now, a couple years older, and whole lot crankier I need some firm set rules In order to avoid myself having a heart attack before I'm 30.  I'd ask everyone to consider the following:

Straight Forward Invite

1. Planning and Coordinating

If you need to call or text me more than once or twice to let me know the time, place, or anything to bring, I'm not coming. There is nothing worse than receiving 8 updates and plan changes, this is just a friendly get together, not the Democratic National Convention, there really isn't that much shit to consider here.  

If I'm put in charge of organizing, I'm sending out the details once. If you can make it, great, if not oh well, but the plans aren't changing.  Nothing raises my blood pressure more than trying to take into consideration everyones schedules and wants and needs. It shouldn't be that difficult, you either want to get together and go out or you don't, no need to have someone babysit the process.

If the GPS annoys me along the way, I'm turning back.

2. Traveling


I hate the traveling part more than the planning and coordinating part. I've said it many times before, but I'll be first in line for the first teleportation device, doesn't matter the cost.


If you live more than 10 minutes from highways 495, 93, or 95, chances are I'm not going to visit you. There are a handful of people that I'll bend that rule for, but even then I'll do it while bitching and moaning.


If the destination requires me changing highways more than once, I'm not visiting you, same exceptions as above apply.


If the plan involves me traveling 30 minutes to reach a destination (a bar for example) when similar destinations exist within 15-20 minutes, I'm probably not going (I'll go if I really cant convince others to go some place closer).

If it sucks bad enough to warrant a shirt
you can leave after 2 hours.

3. What Time Should I leave


Lets get this straight first and foremost, I am leaving. I'm not sleeping over unless the destination is over an hour and a half away from my bed or I'm hammered beyond the point of being able to sober up in an hour or two. And even if that is the case, don't be shocked if I leave at some point in the middle of the night. It's no offense, I just can't stand sleeping away from my bed.  I want to wake up, grab an advil, toss on the tv, and go back to bed. And after that I want to get up again and eat a greasy breakfast.  What I don't want is a 45 minute drive with my head resting on my shoulder fighting back puke while I bomb down the highway cursing myself for having a few too many drinks once again.


Beyond that I'd like to avoid the uncomfortable "when is everyone going to leave" moment.  You know what was awesome about kids birthday parties growing up? They had set time limits. Parents were told the party was from 2-6 and if you didn't pick up your kid by 6 pm, well that child was fending for itself.  The same should apply to adults. 


Society also needs to work on a set acceptable time frame for politely bailing early on parties/events that end up sucking.  It doesn't happen often but every now and then I'm stuck out some place tremendously boring but I feel obligated to stick around as not to appear rude. This needs a resolution. I propose a two hour rule.  If you can manage to stick it out at a boring bar or dead party for two hours  you should be able to just get up and leave without any judgement from others. You did your time, paid your friend dues, and now you're done. Have a nice night, see ya next time.

Now That's What I call Coffee

I'd love to know where I can find this coffee, its just my style (or at the very least the cup).  Bold, in your face, and not pretending to be sophisticated or more important than it really is.  Good coffee should taste good and wake me up, that's all I'm looking for.  No conversations over the morning news paper with absolute strangers, no sipping annoyingly as I stare blankly at my Macbook, and absolutely no discussions about "rich nutty over tones" or any other bullshit like that.

Are those a lot of assumptions to make just based on the cup? Sure, but then again I'd still probably drink it once in a while if it tasted like shit. It's not often you get to make a statement like that on the morning subway ride.

Coca-Cola's Secret Revealed, Who Cares?

I think I'll take the Coke

Fox News - The website for Chicago public radio show This American Life states it found a list of ingredients for Coca-Cola, a secret that has been closely guarded for more than a century, in a 40-year-old newspaper.   The recipe, which supposedly can only be mixed by two Coca-Cola executives in the world, reportedly contains the exact measures of all the different oils needed for the drink's secret ingredient, "Merchandise 7X."...Despite making up only one percent of the drink's total formula, Merchandise 7X is what provides the unique taste. According to the recipe replica, it consists of alcohol, orange oil, lemon oil, nutmeg oil, coriander, neroli and cinnamon.

So this means what to me? Drinking Coke isn't about taste, it isn't about orange oil and coriander, and it certainly isn't about neroli (whatever the hell that is).  Drinking Coke is about class, it's a status symbol. I'm not going to suddenly jump ship because the recipe is out there and some cheap knockoff can come along and copy them.  I would have left long ago if that was the case.  

RC Cola rocks the shit out of Coke 9x out of 10 in my personal taste tests, but you won't see me sidling up to the bar and ordering a "Jack and RC cola." That just isn't cool, no one wants to be seen drinking the WalMart of soda, that's terrible for anyone's image, never mind everyone's 14th favorite blogger, I have a reputation to uphold here. You'll sooner see me using food stamps at the convenience store before I do that.

Coca-Cola, even if your secret isn't safe, your status as America's best is (and yes I'm open to sponsorship opportunities if anyone from Coke is reading this).

Wake Up With Real Life Mario Kart (vid inside)

For the record, if this is a real thing, I call being Toad....and any guy that calls Bowser is just over compensating, if you know what I mean.