Irony: Chopsticks in China With Made In USA Stamp

IN YO FACE, CHINA! USA, USA, USA!

Boom, economists have been talking about how we have to level out the trade defecit with China for years, well what better way than cornering the market on the number 1, most essential product in all of China...the chopstick.  Sure 1,000 of these probably costs like $3.43 but with over a billion people over there, that shit will add up real fast.  Now all we have to do is continue to make sure they don't discover the magic of the fork.

PS: Most shocking bit of info from this video, China is running out of trees? Seems like a big problem, no? Guy just kinda tossed it out there like it was no big thing.

Mass Lawmakers Continue Crusade To get Sex Offenders Involved in Social Networking

(FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - Local lawmakers are hoping a proposed new bill will protect kids against sexual predators on websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Under the new bill, level three sex offenders would have to register their email addresses, Facebook names, Twitter handles and other online aliases with the Sex Offender Registry Board. Failure to register would result in both fines and jail time. According to the Boston Herald, the bill has 12 co-sponsors and could be up for debate as soon as lawmakers return from their August break.

Well this just seems ass backwards, like basically encouraging sex offenders to join Facebook and Twitter? What if you arrest a high profile diddler and he doesn't have a twitter handle? Are you making him sign up for one? What's the check in policy? Do the offenders have to friend and follow the Mass State Police? Poke their parole officer once a day? 

And that's before you even get into defining what creepy or questionable activities online would even constitute. The internet is a fucked up place...what would get you arrested and publicly shamed in real life is just an every day activity online for a lot of people. Like if some registered sex offender creeps on some local college girls facebook, is that a violation of parole, or is that just like every other lonely loser that stalks chicks on facebook?

What seems like common sense to me would be just removing all internet access from level 3 homes.  Spare me the bullshit about constitutional rights, you should probaby be in jail, you wanna use the internet? We can send you back, I hear they get like 1 hour of access a day.

FDA Rules Lazy Cakes Unsafe, Huge Blow to Recovering Stoners and Lazy Parents Alike

BOSTON (AP) - The Food and Drug Administration has warned the manufacturer of melatonin-laced brownies called "Lazy Larry" that the government considers them unsafe and could seize them from store shelves. The warning letter obtained by The Associated Press was sent to the company last week. "Lazy Larry" was until July known as "Lazy Cakes," but the Memphis-based company that makes them, HBB LLC, changed the name after some lawmakers and public officials expressed concerns about the brownies. The product's marketing evokes images of illegal substances. On the Lazy Larry website, the company promises that the brownies will help customers relax. "All this magic is baked in to put a smile on your face," the site reads. "This is living, my friend." On the official Lazy Larry Facebook page - still operating under the "Lazy Cakes" name - the company interacts with enthusiastic consumers. On Friday, the day the FDA sent the company its letter, the company posted this status update: "Thinking about putting on some tunes and relaxing with a Lazy Larry tonight ... what is your favorite music to chill to?"

Parents of overactive kids everywhere are going to be bullshit about this one...I'd somehow never heard of these lazy cakes, but I can guarantee that if I had kids they'd be on a steady after dinner diet of lazy cakes. Kid thinks I'm the best parent in the world just rewarding them with chocolate treats night after night, meanwhile I'm drugging my kid to sleep without the social stigma of force feeding them nyquil...so, win, win.   Kid doesn't want to eat his broccoli? That's fine bud, go grab a brownie and play in your room for a while...last you'll hear from the kid for the night.

PS: It's a brownie that puts you to sleep, of course the fucking thing is unhealthy...You're eating baked chocolate and sugar and then passing out while the calories rot in your stomach.

Man Had to Listen to His Own Eyeballs Moving for 6 Years!

BANBURY, England – Doctors were baffled when a British man told them, "I can hear my eyeballs moving." But they finally diagnosed that Stephen Mabbutt had a rare ear condition in which sounds inside the body are heard very loudly, The Sun reported Monday. Mabbutt, 57, could also hear his heart beating -- and when he chewed food, the noise was deafening to him. The dad of two was experiencing autophony, one of the symptoms of superior canal dehiscence syndrome, an illness that was unknown until 10 years ago. At first, he noticed that the internal sound of his own voice was beginning to drown out everything else around him. Over six years, the condition worsened as other bodily noises joined in. "I was sitting quietly alone in the house one evening, and I suddenly heard this quite loud scratchy noise, like sandpaper being rubbed on wood," Mabbutt said. "I was quite alarmed and looked around, wondering what it was. Then I noticed the noise came every time I moved my eyes. I started to think I was going mad." He added, "The first symptoms appeared around 2005. I found if I raised my voice, I'd get a vibration in my head. If I was eating a bag of crisps, the crunching noise drowned out people speaking. Then I found I would be hearing my heartbeat." But this year, a CT scan showed a tiny hole in the temporal bone in Mabbutt's skull, which meant that fluid from the semicircular canals of the inner ear was leaking into his brain and conducting internal sounds. Mabbutt, a company training coordinator from Banbury in Oxfordshire, southern England, underwent an operation that cured the problem. Richard Irving, the consultant physician who treated Mabbutt, said, "It is a very unusual condition and difficult to spot."

I can say with 100% certainty that if I'm this guy, I'm not here blogging today...I would have lasted about 3 weeks before looking up assisted suicide options. No joke.

This would drive me fucken nuts.  Like when you get irritated at a co-worker tapping their pen, or a leaky faucet, only x30 worse because the sound is coming from your own frigen eye balls. How the hell did this bro deal with this for 6 years! Like what the hell do you resort to when trying to tune out the sound of your eye balls just doing their job. 

The worst part about this is it sounds like it didn't extend to super human hearing for everything else, just annoying as fuck internal bodily functions. It'd be one thing putting up with this if you all of a sudden had better hearing than  your pet dog, hearing the neighbors getting their freak on next door, overhearing peoples drama when you're out at the mall...running the bar pick-up circuit, just eavesdropping on groups of chicks conversations and then making your move based on your inquired intel (pretty sure this could be the basis for a Ryan Reynolds movie).  But it's another thing entirely when it just applies to eye balls moving, ear hair growth, and booger production.  That's the worst special talent I've ever heard of.

Dad Life Rap...Soul Crushing.

Looks real appealing...

Worst church propaganda ever. Sure its hysterical, but I'm not really sure making fun of families is the route you wanna take when you're trying to bring them together. Seems like an odd choice.