More appalling news this afternoon, apparently Ed Hardy, maker of t-shirts and hats for douche bags in all walks of life, also sells deodorant.
Predictably named "Hearts and Daggers" (I assume because Death Before Dishonor was taken?) the deodorant promises "Ed Hardy Hearts & Daggers for Men has bright top notes of Anjou pear, fresh basil and Martini accord; white pepper, papaya and rosemary in the heart. The base notes are Katsura wood, suede, patchouli and sandalwood."
All for the convenient price of $15 a stick. Although I can find no confirmation that when applied a stripe of Ed Hardy's signature will streak down your pits, I have little doubt that this would be the case. Also no word on how easy it is to wash out the glitter and jewels that get trapped in your pit hair.
Yikes, just absolute crickets. Even the tumbleweed was uncomfortable on that one...maybe leave the jokes to the Big Guy VB, you know, the guy hired to be funny. Stick to reading off the teleprompter and doing random pieces on fashion once in a while, comedy and timing just aren't your thing.
FORT PIERCE, Fla.— An elderly Fort Pierce man's run-in with an apparently unkillable cow on New Year's Day sent him to the hospital in critical condition. The cow, which had already been shot at least once by Wilcox with a .22 caliber pistol, wasn't going down without a fight. To get it off her husband, Wilcox's wife began ramming it repeatedly with her truck. When that didn't work, she opened fire with the pistol that Wilcox had dropped in the encounter. The crossbred cow, which sported 12 to 18-inch horns, was shot several times in the face, according to a police report. It was finally contained in the pasture. "(Wilcox’s wife) stated that the cow has always been nasty and had attacked her about a week ago causing bruises," the report states.
Mother of God, this thing is like the Incredible Hulk of Cows, shooting it in the face only angers it. So when they say it was contained in the pasture I assume that means the beast is still living?
I'm seriously scared of whats been going on in nature the past few days. First there were the 1000's of birds randomly falling from the sky in Arkansas, followed by 1000's of fish washing up dead the next day, also in Ark. Now there's a story of birds falling from the sky in Louisiana (and some guy claiming its not that unusual, yea it is buddy, unless your last names are Mulder or Fox and you work on the X-Files).
And now we're dealing with some kind of mythical cow beast with gigantic horns that withstands gunshots to the face and rams with a truck? I don't know about you but I won't be taking any trips to the rural countryside anytime soon until all this shit blows over. Its dangerous enough dealing with people, I don't need to be worrying about wild gangs of bovine attacking me, trying to milk me to make up for years of oppression and domestic farming, all set with that.
PS: Lady, the first time a cow attacks me is the first time I shoot it. How non-chalant about the Devil cow you have in your backyard can you be? Frigen thing just raped your husband and ruffed you up and all you do is call it nasty?
Dude, this is the worst sign yet that China is coming for us. Next thing you know they'll have their own versions of Jackass and 16 and Pregnant. Countries have mounted economic threats to the US before; Germany, Japan, USSR to new a few. Common trait? They all turned out to be non-threats.
They had to work so hard to mount a serious challenge to our economy that their people never had time to goof off and they flamed out due to worker burn out. I'm no economist but the work-hard, play-hard model the US has employed for generations seems to be the only successful way to build an economy. China has recognized this and is now on to us.
And yea you always hear stories about the economic divide in China between the people in the rich big cities and the majority of the people who live in poor, rural country side settings. But if this is what those country bumpkin Chinese are doing with their spare time how miserable can they possibly be?
By the way, how hysterical is the idea of a Chinese Hick? Just picture a China man speaking with a southern drawl, I can't get it out of my head.
