Democrat Lawmakers Considering Taxing Purchase Made Online

Fox News - While the nation was captivated by the debt crisis – and whether tax increases would be part of any deal to reduce federal deficits – a group of Democratic senators and congressmen have rolled out legislation that would raise new revenues by targeting online sales from retailers like Wal-Mart and Best Buy. These lawmakers say that states are losing billions in uncollected state and local sales tax on Internet sales and are touting the support of online retailers like Amazon who say they’re fine with an across-the-board system that would make tax collections simple. “Consumers shouldn’t have to face the burden of reporting all of their online purchases. Main Street retailers collect sales taxes on behalf of consumers, why shouldn’t online retailers do the same,” Durbin said in a statement Friday.

 You guys all hear that? Better get on over to The Alt-Tab Shoppe quick before the burden is on you to pay the sales tax on quality items such as the classic Alt-Tab baseball shirt, the Alt-Tab Oval sticker, and the best Selling Alt-Tab Coffee mug...Sure they're overpriced now, but it'll be even worse once the tax burden is on you, the consumer.

Love this lawmaker who assumes consumer are at home worrying about setting aside money to pay state retail taxes on items they buy online, what a nerd...Yea buddy, I got a huge tally going, don't worry you'll get your check this January...You kidding me bro? Paying taxes for shit you buy online is for suckers.

Introducing The Self Defense Night Stand...The perfect defense against Bed Intruders

From the Function Key

Tired of being ambushed by the Capital One Barbarians while you sleep? Worry no more with the Self Defense Nightstand! Perfect for fighting off Barbarian Hoards, Vikings, and Ancient Roman Armies...Not suggested for defense against modern day intruders, including but not limited to, thugs, gangsters, gangstas, junkies, crackheads, and psychotics.

What's Your "Point of No Return?"

Everyone has one, it's the point where it dawns on you that you've forgot to do something, left something behind, etc..., and decide to say "screw it, I've come this far."

Mine is 3 seconds after I've moved on to the next thing, no joke. Last night I said "fuck it" three feet after leaving my car when I couldn't remember if I locked the door anymore (yea I'm like the only person in America without a clicker right now, leave me alone). I literally wasn't out of my parking spot, hadn't made it past my rear bumper, and I couldn't be bothered to go back and check.  As I type this I'm just hoping my car is still in one piece.  Yea it was a gamble, but I think it was worth it, if I go back then I have to start going back for everything, and frankly I like having the shortest point of no return known to man.

It applies to everything too, couple weekends ago the girlfriend and I were heading to the beach, hot as hell and sunny out, I forgot my glasses on the kitchen table.  The exterior door to our building had just closed when I realized I forgot them.  Couldn't be bothered, I'd have to walk up some stairs, down a hallway, then all the way back...that's like 60 seconds I'd never get back, no, I'd come to far. I went out and got a headache from squinting all day but I'd say it was worth it.

Even work, I've left, full on knowing that I forgot something before I've even reached the first floor in the elevator and I can't be bothered...I'll deal with the consequences tomorrow. I've literally sat on my couch after pouring a glass of water and realizing it's still sitting on my counter and decided I don't want it anymore...It's not even about being lazy, it's just a matter of efficiency to me.  I cannot be bothered to waste time on a task I've already set aside, I can't, I won't do it, nah-uh, no way. 

Newt Gingrich Accused of Buying Twitter Swag, Paying People to Follow Him

Is this the face of a guy who figured out how to win Twitter?

Fox News - Newt Gingrich, who is trying to rebuild his 2012 presidential campaign after his senior staff departed en masse, is now pushing back against reports claiming that most of his 1.3 million followers on Twitter are fake and that he paid for them. “At no time has the campaign or Gingrich Communications employed an outside group to inflate the number of followers of @newtgingrich,” Gingrich spokesman R.C. Hammond said in a statement to FoxNews.com. “Any accusation of the kind is a lie, a smear and unsubstantiated.” Even though Gingrich is trailing most GOP contenders and potential hopefuls in the polls, he has by far the most Twitter followers at 1.3 million. Sarah Palin has more than 600,000, Mitt Romney, the presumed front-runner, has nearly 64,000. A social networking search firm called PeekYou, which says it began crunching the numbers for the 2012 candidates three weeks ago, confirmed that some 106,000 followers, about 8 percent, are real, according to the gossip website Gawker, which first reported the story. PeekYou analyzed the numbers after a former Gingrich staffer told Gawker that the former House speaker paid numerous “follow agencies” to set up fake accounts to follow him. “Newt employs a variety of agencies whose sole purpose is to procure Twitter followers for people who are shallow/insecure/unpopular enough to pay for them,” the staffer said.

Of course most of Newt's 1.3 million followers are fake, I mean the guy throws out tweets like, "Had a great lunch Mabe's Pizza-a Decorah landmark," or "The wrestling club had great brats and sauerkraut at the Mitchell County Fair," or my favorite, "Thanks to Rep. Josh Byrnes for guiding me around the Mitchell County Fair-hog show, prize winning cows, conservation booth, NRA...lots of fun."

Thrilling shit, Newt.  So I've gleaned that you like to stuff your face and hang out and country bumpkin fairs, probably dreaming of the 100's of kinds of different sandwiches that prize winning cow could be made into. I totally get why more people follow you than, say, Howard Stern, or even, yours truly.

PS: I had no idea you could just buy twitter followers, I'd have just done that from the start, been hovering around 50 for months now, shit is depressing. That staffer can go fuck himself if he thinks its because I'm insecure or unpopular, I know that can't be true, my mom drilled it into my head enough as a child. It's more about trying to win Twitter. I still haven't figured this shit out.  I got people like the Maestro who's sole purpose in life is to Tweet at sports reporters and about cute girls he sees on the street or in commercials, and yet he's dominating me in Twitter...Makes no sense.

Double PS: That's a real job? Making up fake twitter people for people who've hired you? How do I go about applying for that?

The Google Street Views Car Just Killed Bambi

"Get Up Bambi...You Must Get Up...You Must...GET UP!"

Dude, Bambi just got killed by a Daewoo, he ain't getting back up this time.