Two Teen Girls Kidnap and Sexually Assault Teen Boy

VALPARAISO, Ind. -- A 16-year-old northern Indiana girl has been charged as an adult with four felonies and a 14-year-old has admitted juvenile charges of battery and confinement...The Times of Munster reports the 14-year-old girl wept Monday as she admitted the charges from the attack and other charges from unrelated incidents. Monday. She faces a May 9 sentencing. Police have said the two girls lured the boy to a home April 9, threatened him with a knife, then handcuffed and sexually battered him.

Wait, what? Like they tied him down and rode him or something? Is that what we're talking about here? 

Man teenage girls are dumb.  Don't these girls realize they literally could have picked any guy in their school and done this without the whole Class A Felony thing hanging over their heads?  Like I'm sure there are plenty of 14-17 year old boys in their school that watch this exact scenario play out on the internet like 3x per week. Probably should have looked one of those guys up first, could have avoided this whole legal mess.

Pope In Uproar Over Gaga's Latest Song...Wait, The Pope Listens to Kiss 108?

Pop provocateur Lady Gaga has managed to outrage and insult many Catholics by leaking her new song, “Judas” just two days before the start of Holy Week. "It's always edgy and always (about) our religion," Bill Donohue, spokesperson for the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, said about frequent pop culture attacks on the Church. "(And) all during Holy Week." In “Judas,” Lady Gaga sings about her love for Judas, the infamous apostle who betrayed Jesus. "Jesus in my virtue and Judas is the demon I cling to...I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel, but I'm still in love with Judas baby," sings Lady Gaga.

Why is the Catholic church even listening to stations that play Gaga in the first place?  Is the Pope a big fan of Kiss 108's Matty in the Morning? Or more of a Jamn Guy with the Freakin Puerto Rican?  I don't get this.

Please just look at that pic of Gaga.  Do Catholic clergy members really think they have something to worry about here? I mean are her hardcore fans that buy into this shit really the people you're targeting for your church and heaven anyway? Freaks and weirdos having all kinds of transgendered sex, on top of what looks like some kind of animal sacrifice?

That's not the pious Heaven I've been told to imagine.  I figured these peeps never had a chance, but now I find out the Pope and his posse are worried about their souls. Damnit.  I mean 90% of the reason I've held out on all these fun things in life is I just assumed from my CCD teachings that those people were just going straight to hell.  If I knew I could have paraded around like a freak maybe I would have for a few years, just to check it out, test the waters.  

I feel cheated, and I think the Pope owes me a personal explanation.

Viagra Beer To Be Released for The Royal Wedding

Fox News - Forget the little blue pill. A British company has brewed the first beer laced with Viagra. The new brew is called Royal Virility Performance, and has been specially created to mark the upcoming Royal Wedding. Downing just three bottles is equivalent to taking one pill of Viagra, which enhances men's sexual performance. The 7.5 percent alcohol India Pale Ale also contains extra aphrodisiacs including horny goat weed and even chocolate.  The makers of the beer, BrewDog, have even sent several bottles to Prince William for his wedding night. Just 40 bottles of the beer will be produced initially, and will go on sale the day of the Royal Wedding, April 29, at BrewDog.com. All the proceeds go to the charity Centrepoint, which Prince William supports. But buyers will be limited to one bottle each due to the powerful effects.

Not since Drew Carey's Buzz Beer has the beer drinking world been so excited.  I mean, Boner Beer? That's a billion dollar idea.  But why go all bourgeois on us? Like regular blokes in English pubs don't need this too?

Alcohol limp dick doesnt just affect the royals, you know.  How many regular chaps have rode their drunk goggles and liquid courage all the way back to some unlucky ladies flat only to discover their goodies were not in service at that time? Don't they deserve a quick lift as well?  The British Royals need to right this travesty and demand Boner Beer be available to all their fellow countrymen, be they pleebs or serfs. Else they may have a bit of a Bolshevik revolution on their hands.

PS: There is something extremely humorous about picturing a bunch of proper Brits dancing around at the Royal Wedding with raging hard on's.  Makes me chuckle.

Man Dresses Up Like Female Mannequin...To Disguise Himself While Taking Pics of Girls in the Bathroom.

An English man has tried to take pictures of women in a shopping mall toilet disguised as a mannequin...The 22-year-old from Edgbaston was seen sneaking into the women's toilets "dressed like a mannequin with a mask and a wig" earlier this month. When security guards nabbed him after he emerged from the locked cubicle, Hardman admitted to performing a sexual act and said: "I've been a bit weird." He also told police he found the sound of women on the toilet sexually exciting and said: "It's good you've caught me — maybe now I'll stop." Police found three images of women's feet taken beneath cubicle doors on his mobile phone, and an audio recording of a flushing toilet, the court was told. Hardman told Birmingham Magistrates' Court he felt "sexual gratification out of everything that goes on in women's toilets". 

Kind of an odd bird, no? A bit weird seems a bit of an understatement dude. I mean I just flat out don't understand the whole dressing as a mannequin bit.  Like what's the thought there? That the chics won't bat an eye at the fucking transgendered mannequin hanging out in the corner of their stall with a cell phone camera pointed at them while they take care of business? What planet are you from?

Look, you're sneaking in there either way, might as well save some dignity and admit only to getting off to hearing a girls browns go plop.  No need to let everyone know you're hobbies also included pretending to be a cross dressing plastic doll. Weirdo.

And this is without even mentioning the fact that you're supposed to pretend girls don't do that shit at all.  I like to think they just go to the bathroom to hang out and gossip.  Taking pictures of their feet while they squeeze out a deuce on the old crapper and then beating it to the flushing sounds is a seriously sick problem you go there.

Another Teen Survives A Jump off the Golden Gate Bridge...Yawn

Everyone relax, he'll be fine

SAN FRANCISCO -- A 16-year-old girl became the second person in five weeks to survive a plunge from San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge -- a 220-foot drop that is almost always fatal. The unidentified teen lived through the drop Sunday and the 20 minutes she spent in the 53-degree water of San Francisco Bay before she was rescued, Fire Department spokeswoman Mindy Talmadge said.  The crew of a U.S. Coast Guard motor boat that pulled the girl from the bay about 200 yards from the east side of the bridge said she was conscious and responsive. One witness reported seeing her swimming to stay afloat, Talmadge said. "To me, it's just amazing she even survived that drop, whether it was a jump or a fall," she said. The girl was transported to Marin General Hospital, but her condition wasn't immediately available. In March, a 17-year-old boy who jumped from the bridge during a school field trip survived with only bruises and the threat of prosecution for trespassing.

So the Golden Gate Bridge is kind of becoming a pussy in it's old age, huh?  I mean not 2 months after we blog about some high school kid jumping in to raise his sex status at school we got this teenage girl taking a plunge right in the bridges grill. I mean it's a girl, and witnesses said they saw her swimming around afterwards, like she just took went off the family diving board in her back yard.   

Dude, you've got to tighten your game up before masses of dare devil jumpers start making their way over to old softie to take a thrill jump from the once mighty Golden Gate Bridge.  Shit is embarrassing.

I love how at first they didn't know if she fell or jumped. Like it could be an accident? I haven't been there but I imagine their are rails at least head high, no?  Seems hard to slip and fall over a potential 6 foot fence.  What the hell do they think happened, she slipped on a banana peel and flipped up 8 feet high like in a cartoon?

Carmelo Anthony Says Losing to go Down 0-2 Was Fun. New York Knicks: Losers

Oh really Carmelo? Digging yourself into an 0-2 hole against the defending eastern conference champs was fun? No disrespect, you had a great, great game, but I can't help but wonder if you'd still have had "fun" if you were out there shooting 0-11 like Thug Bill Walker while your team lost by 3?  

So goodluck Knick's fans,  you're going to need it.  This is your co-leader for all intents and purposes for the forseeable future.  Congrats on clawing your way out of the basement.  Welcome to Tracy McGrady land.  A dreadfully boring world full of 1st and the occasional 2nd round exits. Hope you enjoy it, you'll be here a while.  

It's too bad your best player doesn't care a fraction of the amount that your biggest mascot does:

I hear you Spike,Shit is Wack, Yo.