Absurd Portland Principal Claims Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches are Racist as Fuck

Portland Tribune - Verenice Gutierrez picks up on the subtle language of racism every day. Take the peanut butter sandwich, a seemingly innocent example a teacher used in a lesson last school year. “What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” says Gutierrez, principal at Harvey Scott K-8 School, a diverse school of 500 students in Northeast Portland’s Cully neighborhood. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.” ...Through intensive staff trainings, frequent staff meetings, classroom observations and other initiatives, the premise is that if educators can understand their own “white privilege,” then they can change their teaching practices to boost minority students’ performance. Last Wednesday, the first day of the school year for staff, for example, the first item of business for teachers at Scott School was to have a Courageous Conversation — to examine a news article and discuss the “white privilege” it conveys.

Is Verenice Gutierrez kidding me here? Got to be trolling us whites, no? Peanut Butter Jelly, a white privilege? Get the fuck outta here. 

Hey Verenice, have you ever eaten a PB&J or it's cousin Peanut Butter Fluff 5 days a week from September thru June? It's no privilege. I love peanut butter more than just about anyone, but come on, 180 or so straight week days of peanut butter related sandwiches gets old real fast. I'm not saying its a punishment, but it sure as shit isn't a privilege. L

ike, back to your little math word problem example; "If Johnny ate 5 peanut butter and jelly's at lunch last week, and has had 3 peanut butter and jelly's so far this week, how many peanut butter and jelly's has Johnny ate? WAY TO FUCKING MANY. Johnny wants some flavor, Johnny wants some spice.

There's a reason all us crazy white folk spent 1st-8th grade as amateur day traders, trying to trade up our sandwiches with the random few kids that had exotic food like salami sandwiches, or the crown jewel, the Lunchables set. It's the same reason why any sane white adult wouldn't list PB&J in their top 5 of regular lunch choices, it aint a privilege, its like a base line necessity. It's the elementary and middle school kid equivalent of college kids with Ramen Noodles...once you're old enough to have a choice, no one in their right mind would pick it.

You wanna talk privileges, how about these kids apparently yamming on torta's and pita's for lunch? That's a privilege, there's a reason I seek out burrito's for lunch like 3x a week. That shit is awesome. If I knew the Puerto Ricans and Dominicans in my school thought my PB&J was some kinda exotic treat of a lunch I'd have been trading for burro's, empenadas, chicken and cheese quesadillas, all of that stuff. I love it all.

Bottom line is PB&J is no more of a white privilege than clean water. It's just something quick and easy you feed your kids so they don't die of malnourishment.

Are Florida Detectives Serious with this Sketch of an Unidentified Man?

Fox News - Forensic experts from a Florida university have helped detectives recreate the likeness of a man murdered nearly 25 years ago, working with little more than a pile of bones, teeth and patches of mummified skin. The remains of the unidentified man, who was shot twice, were found in 1989 near an orange grove by an artifact hunter in Dade City, Fla. Authorities believe he had been dead for as long as two years. “The body was found fully skeletonized,” said Detective David Boyer of the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office. “There was just bones.”

Far be it for me to step in and tell these forensic detectives how to do their job, but...I either just solved their case, or their sketch artist is trolling them big time:

I mean, that's Garth plain as day. And come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I saw him, for that matter.