Man Arrested for Assaulting 10 Year Old Brat At a Movie Theater

KENT, Wash. – A Washington state man fed up with a group of noisy moviegoers behind him, stepped over the seat and punched a 10-year-old boy in the face. The man was watching "Titanic" in 3-D with his girlfriend and had asked the people sitting behind to quiet down and stop throwing popcorn, but they laughed at him, he said..."I got so mad that it just happened," Yong Hyun Kim, 31, told police. The 10-year-old lost a tooth and had a bloody nose in the confrontation...Kim told police the boys' behavior was worse than talking. He says they were hitting him and his girlfriend with popcorn, running back and forth in the aisle and bumping him with their arms. "At one point Yong stepped over the seats and confronted the subjects behind him," the police report says. "Yong said he was talking to the subjects when they started laughing at him. Yong said he became so angry and swung his arm at one of the subjects and him in the face."

This is exactly why I don't go to the movies anymore. Been to the theater like, 3 times total in the last 3 years. Kim shouldn't be arrested, that guys a borderline hero, just doing what every other sane, responsible, and properly behaved movie goer has ever wanted to do.

I don't care if you're 10 or 80 years old, if you can't sit down and shut the fuck up in a theater, then you shouldn't be there. It's not time to play with your phone or PS Vita, it's not time to play fucking tag with your friends, it's not time to gossip about what Tammy did in the woods with Jimmy and how you think she's a whore because that's the third handy she's given out this year. Go sit on your fucking couch at home if that's what you plan on doing.

If anyone should be arrested its the parents of these kids, dropping off 10 year olds at the movie theater and using a 3 hour screening of the Titanic as a babysitter so the parents can go get their fuck on is just as irresponsible as it gets. They know how rude their kids are in public, they just figured the rest of society wouldn't mind putting up with it for a few hours. WRONG. Young Hyun Kim just put the movie going world on notice: No ones to young to get their mouth punched in for bad manners at the theater. Bravo Mr. Kim. Bravo.

Cory Feldman Takes out Restraining Order on 300 Pound House Guest

TMZ - Corey Feldman apparently had good reason to get a 6 ft, 300 lb woman arrested ... because the restraining order she allegedly violated shows a person right out of "Single White Female." According to legal docs, obtained by TMZ, Corey allowed a friend, Jennifer Herbert, to live in his house, but things went south quickly. Feldman claims Herbert threatened to hurt him, trash-talked him in front of house guests, and asked his kid "adult questions." Corey couldn't just throw Jennifer out, because she's paying rent and therefore is a tenant. So the restraining order required her to stay 6 feet away from Corey and his kid while in the home. It appears she violated that order, and as a result Corey's security guard made a citizen's arrest Friday night. Jennifer -- who Corey knew through Michael Jackson -- was taken into custody, Jennifer was released hours later, went back to the house with cops, picked up her stuff and left.

You know, Charlie Sheen and Corey Feldman really aren't that different. In fact, the differences can be summed up, pretty much like this:

Winning: Charlie Sheen

• Rich and Famous Family
• Lot's of drugs and alcohol with seemingly no legal and/or career repurcussions
• Bevy of sluts and porn stars at his beck and call.

Losing: Corey Feldman

• Not Rich and Famous Family
• Lot's of drugs and alcohol which caused ample legal and career repurcussions
• House Guests Weighing 3-Bills regularly putting him on blast in front of guests. 

I mean this story perfectly encapsulates everything I've ever thought about Corey Feldman. The guy was on the absolute top for a brief window in the 80's and somehow lost it all. All he had to do was make like, one right choice out of every 10 and he would have stayed mildly successfull for the last 20 years. Look at Charlie sheen, fuck up after fuck up, after fuck up, Great Career Choice, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, Great career choice...that's all it takes. Hollywood is very forgiving, you've just got to make one good decision a decade and you're good. Corey couldn't even handle that, and that's why he's where he's at today, being verbally abused by some land monster he invited into his home to help make rent. 

 PS: Honest question, how off the rails does this kids mom have to be that Corey freaking Feldman got custody of their kid? That's nuts.

The Most Ridiculous Knock Out Barstool Material I've Ever Seen

KnockoutBarstoolSports - But here's the bigger question, why do we even have dogs at all? I took a class once called Puppies and Slavery: the Next Frontier of Equal Rights. Did you know that most people like dogs more than other people? Think about it, Ray Lewis participates in a MURDER and people are cool with it. Mike Vick fights a bunch of mutts and people rightly lose their mind. It is clear that David Portnoy is in favor of animal rape and cruelty; but what else is he in favor of? Rape? Muder? Osama Bin Laden? Yes, yes and yes. 

I'm going to stop  you right here:

I took a class once called Puppies and Slavery: the Next Frontier of Equal Rights.

I honestly have no idea if this is meant to be satire, there's  only two posts on the entire site, and while they both seem equally outrageous to me, I kinda think lunatic activists think and do things like this, so I think this could be 100% serious...

And if that's the case, well then you've got bigger problems than worrying about what's going on over at a popular sports/smut blog. Things like, "how can I productively put all these puppies and slavery analogies to good use without offending black people and minorities everywhere," or maybe some time spent google searching "puppy slavery major careers," so you can pay off whatever ludicrous degree you just paid for instead of joining those juvenile 99%er's who think life should be all gumdrops and lolli-pops, where there is no accountability or responsibility for each's own life and choices. 

Get a grip on reality, man. If this really isn't satire, do you really think you're winning any fans comparing an actual satirical sports/smut blogger and the puppy bowl to the likes of rapists, murderers, and Osama Bin Laden? I'm sure there are plenty of 9-11 families that'll readily agree with this analogy. Jokes on a website vs. 3,000 or so dead in an act of terrorism.  50/50 really.

Former CNN Exec Leaves Dog Poop In Neighbors Mailbox

First off, these guys can cut the crap about having no idea why this happened. Maybe they don't know what triggered the response on that specific day, but obviously something petty happened in the past, probably years back, that neither side can let go of. 

That's how neighborly feuds work. It's pretty much universal. Each side gripes and bitches about the other quietly, maybe you toss a snide look out of the corner of your eye at them, maybe you give the polite wave and half smile while muttering "asshole" under your breath when you see them back down the drive way, all the while biding your time, it can go on this way for years. Most of the time nothing will ever come of it, a sort of domestic Cold War if you will.  Both sides stock piling angst for one another until one party moves or dies. But sometimes, well sometimes things get nuclear and you have to stick a steaming pile of dog poo in your neighbors mailbox. Shit happens. 

I learned from the best as far as all this stuff goes. My parents have had a lonnnng standing Cold War feud with one particular neighbor. Pretty sure it started over some disagreement regarding fallen twigs or leaves or something. I can't remember exactly what it was. All I know is the neighbor continues to toss leaves he feels fell from our trees back into our yard and we continue to look out our window and wonder what kind of crazed lunatic goes through such trouble as sorting out leaves and determining their parental genesis. It's fucking nuts. It's passed the point of the friendly wave and silent asshole muttering at this point, but it hasn't gone nuclear as of yet, so at least I still have time to warn them to check for security camera's before dropping off the family dogs poop first class.

PS: There's a slight chance we could be reading way to deep into this whole thing and carrying hot poop while on your walk around the block is just icky. Maybe he planned on picking it up on his way back, only to be foiled by Suburban James Bond and his life partner in surveillance who, for some reason, video tape their mailbox on a daily basis. 

TMZ Hosts an Old Fashioned Bounce Off: Lohan Vs. Upton

You know what's crazy about this? Besides the fact that even with all the evidence we have that shows going bra-less leads to saggy bags, Lohan still decided to rock the look?

It's that Lindsay is still only 25 years old, and yet, I feel like she's already had more "comebacks" in her career than say, 75 year old Madonna. Not that I'm saying this 3 second juggling clip is a comeback, but I'm sure some rising young producer/director out there caught wind of this and was like "she's still got it!" 

If anything its definitely leading to a mediocre role in a B-movie. We'll hear how Lindsay thrived, praise her for her performance, and then look down upon her when she goes on an epic binge to celebrate her new found success. Which obviously will lead to another rehab stint, more yoga, another bouncing video, and then we'll do the whole thing over again. Its the circle of life.

PS: The narrator for TMZ...Nails on a chalkboard.