Belly Button Lint Challenge

Foxnews.com - An Australian man has turned for what most of us is hygiene, into a world record.  Graham Barker holds the Guinness World Record for his‘belly button fluff’ collection after saving 22.1gm of lint every day for 26 years, Metro.co.uk reported.  The 45-year-old 'harvests' the lint as part of his nightly routine, and has now filled more than three jars of the material.  Barker, who told the paper he is "not obsessive," collected his first piece of fluff during a backpacking trip in 1984...The librarian vows to continue amassing the lint until he is no longer capable, and is even considering stuffing a cushion with his collection.

Challenge accepted!  Less than 4 jars in over 26 years of collecting?  Seems a bit on the low side to me, sounds like someones been slacking on their collections because I'm pretty sure I produce at least a jar a year of this stuff.  There's been days I've pulled out nugget sized fluff and just marveled at it, but ultimately threw it out...because that's the sane thing to do.  I didn't realize these somewhat disgusting naval deposits could lead to fame.  This guy thinks he's got it made in the shade, setting a record and getting all the fame and glory that comes with such an accomplishment, all the while concealing the fact that he has no challengers to his throne.  Well not after today, I'm coming for him and I'm coming strong, better step your game up Graham (yes that's his actual blog which I stumbled upon while searching for the above picture of his actual lint.)

And before I forget, stuffing a cushion?  That shit is disgusting.  Show some class, you're a famous world record holder, I'm sure you can afford some decent upholstery on the royalties Guinness is shelling out.  And if you thought women recoiled in horror at the site of your lint in jars, try telling them the couch they're sitting on while you're trying to round second base is stuffed with your man fluff.  That's a surefire way to end up harvesting your belly button crop by yourself for the 27th straight year.

Jersey Shore Rant

From a pop-culture phenomenon stand point its time to collectively agree that Jersey Shore has jumped the shark.  Is it still an interesting and somewhat funny show to watch? Sure.  But enough with everyone quoting and imitating these degenerates in public.

If you're with a group of your friends at home or some other private event, and you can do a good impression, its still  mildly funny.  At a bar/club/party with strangers/public sidewalk between 11pm and 2 am yelling things like "we got a situation", "Teeee Shirt Timmmeee", "Cabs Ah Heah", or "Champagne Yea", you're going to look like an idiot and be treated like the social retard that you are.  It's not that funny.  In fact its not funny at all.  You've decided your actual personality is boring and sucks to the point that you'd be better off quoting one liners from reality tv. Congrats.

And girls, you don't get off rant free either.  If you're short, brunette, and annoying as hell, it doesn't make you Snooki, or Snooki's twin, or Snooki's bastard step-sister. Why would you even welcome this comparison? A midget, pear shaped, no chin, pudgy cheeked girl with horrendous hair.  She hardly looks human.  So please, stop comparing yourself to her on Facebook, stop elevating your poof's to disturbing heights, and stop whining in a high pitched voice in public. Its enough to make someone snap. 

Oh, and good luck to everyone going out for Halloween who agrees with this rant.  Just going to be a bunch of lame fake muscles, knock off Ed Hardy shirts (I never thought there would be anything worse than an Ed Hardy original, I stand corrected), and imitation blow outs.

End rant.

Reader E-mail

From:        Mike  xxxxxxxxxxx
To:        TheAltTab@Gmail.com
Date:        10/25/2010 12:16 PM
Subject:        Blogworthy

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You need a rant on how when you want to read a news story and it turns out to actually be a video.  I’m sure we each go through this at least 2-3 times per day.
 
I just did with the headline “Gator eats 50 pound dog in backyard”

To be honest, that should have been the first thing you blogged on for the site.  that’s the #1 “non-work related pet peeve that happens every day at work while you’re trying ot distract yourself from doing work”

First off, exciting day, our first reader suggestion (also sort of doubling as our first reader complaint?) as a reminder please send any thoughts, comments, suggestions or hate mail to TheAltTab@Gmail.com. 

I sympathize with you Mike.  Its annoying as shit, and I have no idea how I over looked this office gripe (I'm sure running a pop-culture sensation of a blog in my spare time while holding down a corporate job had nothing to do with it, even if the whole sensation part is just made up).  

You work all day trying to find lengthy or entertaining articles to take your mind off the fact that your job is no where near as full-filling as it should be, and that ultimately you'll be replaced by Indians and a few macros on excel within a few years.  It sucks.  At least have the decency to offer the video or a transcribed version of the events with pictures.  Is it that hard?  Takes me 10 minutes a day to slap up a blog accompanied by a quick google image search, and I have a job that requires my divided attention.  

You'd think these sites (I'm looking right at you CNN, no I don't want to view your frigen I-Report, just tell me what happened) would realize the majority of their views come during work hours and would take into consideration that maybe we don't want our cube neighbors to hear blaring audio of some redneck describing the scene of a 42 car pile up.  Maybe we just want a short description with a couple of awesome jpegs.  It's just common courtesy.  

By the way Mike, did you end up watching the video?  That sounds like something you have to see to fully appreciate.  Maybe drop in later and leave a comment with the link if you still have it.