Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Best Snow Storm News Blooper You'll See Today



Perfect comedic timing. Absolutely perfect. Made me burst into laughter, I literally LOL'd...in fact, I almost ROLF'd...No hint that a joke is coming leading up to it, just an earnest report doing what they do best, reporting on the latest snow storm. He even leads in with the classic reporter line "There are times when...," drops his joke perfectly, and rolls right into the dramatic "this is one of those times," line.

Textbook, I guarantee he sent that reel straight to the producers of Dateline, who upon viewing immediately called his agent and made a deal. So long Ann Curry, hello James Lynch. Just the right man for the right time.

HillBilly Heaven BBQ Joint: Proudly Not Serving Halal, Peking Duck

Do Southerners not eat fries?


The Spec - The owner of a hillbilly-themed restaurant on the Mountain says he was only clarifying his cuisine by posting signs saying he doesn’t sell Middle Eastern and Asian foods and serves customers in English. But Evelyn Myrie, executive director of Hamilton’s Centre for Civic Inclusion, says the signs at Hillbilly Heaven on Upper James Street are “very offensive and against the principles of diversity and inclusion.” The restaurant has a big sign by the cash register that says halal, rice, kabob, shawarma, fries, wings, ¼ chicken, Mexican and burgers are “things we don’t have and never will.” On the door it says “to better serve you, our staff speaks ENGLISH” and “What would make you think this was a Korean BBQ? Do you see any f’n ducks in the window?” Myrie says the owner should take down the signs and apologize. He’s ignoring a great deal of the population. It’s very stereotypical … It’s unacceptable and feeds into a stereotype … He has the right to sell his goods but doesn’t have the right to trash other foods that are culturally driven.” But the owner of the restaurant, Cameron Bailey, says he means no offence. He says his business at Upper James and Fennell Avenue “is in a bit of an Arab neighbourhood. I got tired of people coming in here and asking me if I have halal. I put a sign up saying we don’t have halal, so stop coming in here and asking me.” As for the sign about Korean barbecue, that was in response to a Korean customer who got angry with Bailey, he said, because his restaurant didn’t serve Korean duck. He said he’s fed up with people who don’t understand what his restaurant is about. The theme is Southern U.S.-style barbecue that uses smokers that cook the meat for 12 hours at a time and then it’s sold in very large portions.


So this is what its come down to folks? A guy plainly spelling out that he doesn't serve all the foods from the colors of the rainbow at his specifically southern style BBQ restaurant has to apologize for clarifying his menu in an informational and efficient manner? Instead his employees should continue to have to deal with ignorant customers who somehow confused a BBQ joint for a Falafal joint or Peking Duck cart in the middle of China Town? Although, in fairness to the Koreans, maybe they assumed Southern Style BBQ meant South Korea? It's possible.

But since when is advertising that your staff is fully literate in our nations most prevalent language a bad thing? So Evelyn Myrie has never been infuriated at the drive in window of McD's or Dunkin Donuts? Or that her favorite Chinese food restaurant for take out isn't based on how well the person who answers the phone speaks English? Because mine is. 

True story, I've settled on one Chinese restaurant as my absolute go to when I'm in the mood for the taste of the Orient. Is it the best around? Absolutely not. Its pretty good but nothing special, but they consciously put the best English speaker on the phone so that when I'm trying to order a #2 with duck sauce I don't end up with some gross Bok Choi thing...Plus I have a propensity to just pay with my card over the phone and that is an absolute nightmare when you've got someone on the other end of the line that speaks like a giggling school girl in an anime film. 

Of course the downside to putting your best employee on phone duty is that you inevitably have to send out a simpleton on deliveries. I don't know what it is with my delivery guy but he seems to be the only person on earth that can't figure out the buildings buzzer system. He'll buzz, I'll answer and he'll already be mid sentence, cracks me up every time. 

One time he gave up entirely and just called me on my cell (we're pretty tight actually, he sees me about two times a week so we're on a first name basis), I walked down to the door, he's not there. Then I see him two doors up on some guys porch, he waves wildly (one of those really goofy, Asian waves, stiff elbow and hand, just the shoulder moving back and forth in the air with an overly zealous smile), got back in the car, attempted to back down the street (it's a one way), went up over the curb for a few feet before throwing it in park and just sprinting to my door. It was hilarious, we both got a big laugh out of it. 

And once again I end a blog well off topic.