Giant Sized Eyeball Found on Florida Beach

MIAMI – It's not that body parts never wash ashore on Florida beaches. But usually it's not an eye the size of a softball. State wildlife officials are trying to determine the species of a blue eyeball found by a man Wednesday at Pompano Beach, north of Fort Lauderdale. They put the eyeball on ice so it can be analyzed at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg. Agency spokeswoman Carli Segelson says the eyeball likely came from a marine animal, since it was found on a beach. Possible candidates include a giant squid, a whale or some type of large fish.

Can I ask a serious question? Does it stink? I have to believe that thing stinks. Like I'm imagining the worst smelling pus (don't act like I'm the only one who's smelled pus from time to time), x100.  Really lacking report here.

You can't just show me an eyeball the size of a softball and then tell me absolutely nothing about it. I'm legitimately freaked out here...like that eyeball is exactly how a J.J Abrams movie about the end of the world would start. Just some random tourist taking an early morning walk down the beach, and then BOOM. Giant eyeball, girlfriend freaks out and runs up the beach, boyfriend stares at it in bewilderment waiting for authorities in hazmat suits to show up...and you bet your life he comments on how bad that thing fucking stinks.

What Do The Richest Man in the World, The President, and this Wildn' Out Black Lady Have in Common?

Carlos Slim, Worlds Richest Man

President Obama

Wildn' Out Black Lady

What do they all have in common? OBAMAPHONES BABY!




Fox News - A Mexican telecom mogul who holds the title of world's richest man, and one of President Obama's top donors are both getting even richer from the U.S. government program that supplies so-called "Obamaphones" to the poor. Carlos Slim, who has an estimated net worth of $70 billion, owns a controlling stake in TracFone, which makes $10 per phone for each device it provides to poor Americans. The company, whose president and CEO is Frederick “F.J.” Pollak, also makes money from extra minutes and data plans it sells to subscribers who get phones and service through the government's Lifeline program. The program, which began in the mid-1980s, has exploded in the past four years after being expanded from supplying landlines to the poor to providing cellular phones...The phones came into the national spotlight after a viral video surfaced on YouTube in which a Cleveland, Ohio, woman praised the president, saying he needed to be re-elected because he gives out free phones.

I'll be honest, I kinda didn't believe this whole Obamaphone thing up until I read that the world's richest man was involved. I guess it has to be true then? Obama just tossing out cheapy sample phones in the ghetto like Stringer Bell's crew passing out samples of their latest product to junkies? Does that make Romney Omar? That can't be right...this analogy fell apart fast.

Bottom line, apparently Obamaphones are real, this woman is really, really happy about that, and the worlds richest man, a Mexican (come on America), is laughing while he lights cigars with US tax payer $20 bills...'Merica.