Mexico Man Has Sex Change to Avoid Jail Time

When did Rupaul have a species change to Vampire?

MEXICO CITY –  Federal prosecutors in Mexico say they have arrested a man who had plastic surgery and assumed a female identity to avoid capture. The Attorney General's Office says Aaron Vera Morales "had plastic surgery in an effort to evade justice, to change his identity from a man to a woman." The office said Wednesday the 33-year-old was carrying documents with his new identity. Vera Morales is charged with defrauding a government health agency on a sound system contract. It is not clear if he has an attorney yet. Mexico City law allows people to legally change gender identity, and Vera Morales does not face any false ID charges. Officials could not say whether the man had surgery to alter his gender or simply to alter his appearance.

Question, does he/she get to go to female prison now?  Because if it does, then good to know...and you're about to see a run on sex changes by fugitive felons.  A great time to be in the plastic surgery game.

Not for nothing, but I'd totally get the old surgical chopperoo if I had an impending prison sentence waiting for me.  Think about it 1) Chic jail is probably a totally awesome place for a former dude. Just random sights and sounds that you'd have never had access to if you were still a guy. 2) You'd run that shit. You might not have a dick but you'd still be the most butch female in there. 3) You don't gotta worry about your corn hole.

Sounds to me like this guy thought it through and is just misunderstood.  He wasn't trying to avoid arrest, just looking to do some easier time.

Man Names Boat "Titanic II" Predictable Results Follow

Let it go buddy, there's no saving it.

Fox News - A 16-foot cabin cruiser named the Titanic II went the way of her namesake Sunday, when she sprung a leak and sunk on her maiden voyage, The Sun reported. Briton Mark Wilkinson, 44, had to be rescued from the harbor at West Bay, Dorset, in the U.K., as he clung to the sinking boat. “If it wasn’t for the harbormaster, I would have gone down with the Titanic,” Wilkinson told The Sun. “It’s all a bit embarrassing - I’m fed up with people asking me if I hit an iceberg.” Wilkinson had bought the boat second-hand, named it the Titanic II, and decided to take it out fishing, The Sun reported. A large hole opened up in the vessel’s fiberglass hull on his way back to the harbour. The “unsinkable” Titanic ocean liner hit an iceberg in 1912 on its maiden voyage to New York; 1,517 lives were lost.

Get a load of this asshole, complaining about people asking him about icebergs and shit.  Hey bro, that's just the tip of the ice berg, as they say...get ready for a lifetime of ice berg straight ahead, king of the world, and Kate Winslet boobie jokes, all at your expense.

 
Listen, you had the gall to think you could just name your boat after the worst boating tragedy of all time and the karma gods would just let you get away with it, you suffer the consequences.  What the hell did you think would happen on your maiden voyage? Everything would just go hunky-dory, you and that old broad would find the purple diamond and you'd come ashore the conquering hero?  Come on bro, get your head out of your ass. Sometimes you're just best off not tempting fate.

China Modifying Cow Milk to Taste Like Breast Milk...No Thanks Guys

BEIJING - Chinese scientists have genetically modified dairy cows to produce human breast milk, and hope to be selling it in supermarkets within three years. The milk produced by the transgenic cows is identical to the human variety, with the same immune-boosting and antibacterial qualities as breast milk, scientists at China's Agricultural University in Beijing said.  The milk is still undergoing safety tests, but with government permission it will be sold to consumers as a more nutritious dairy drink than cow's milk. Workers at the university's dairy farm have already tasted the milk -- and said it is sweeter and stronger than the bovine variety..."It's good," said worker Jiang Yao. "It's better for you because it's genetically modified."

Fucking gross...China, leading the league in inventions that no one would ever want anything to do with.  At least when America was a young and up and comping economy we invented cool things, like electricity and television.  What the hell are we supposed to do with this shit? 

There's a reason kids graduate from breast milk to McDonalds milk cartons as fast as they can...it's because breast milk is icky. So thanks a lot China, real cool, I guess...

PS: Ladies, I wouldn't take this too lightly...you're one magical "men can get pregnant" pill away from being obsolete...just saying.

Barbie Mom Gives 7 Year Old Daughter Voucher for Breast Implants

Daily Mail - She made the headlines last year when she confessed to teaching her then six-year-old daughter Poppy to pole dance. And now Sarah Burge is back in the spotlight again - for all the wrong reasons. The 50-year-old mother - a self-confessed plastic surgery addict known as The Human Barbie - has boasted that she gave a £6,000 breast enlargement voucher to her daughter for her seventh birthday.  She said: 'Poppy begged me for a boob job, so I gave her the voucher so she can have it after she's 16, when it's legal. 'If she develops naturally big boobs, she can have something else done with it.'  Poppy says: 'I wanted a new computer, a holiday and a voucher for surgery. When I got it all, it was a dream come true. All my friends were jealous. 'I can't wait to be like Mummy with big boobs. They're pretty.'

What do you mean in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons? Sounds like good parenting to me, just wants her daughter to be prepared for life.

Just saying, this will probably come in handy, judging by her bony  frame and overly shallow mother, she'll probably be stick thin due to genetics and a healthy eating disorder through her teen years, it's not going to be shocking if she needs a little assistance up top.

Plus, it was her dream come true...its not like Barbie Mom is forcing this on her, she asked for a computer, a holiday and a voucher for surgery...yea most kids want moon bounces and pin the tail on the donkeys, but this girl is thinking about her future, and I think we should celebrate that, not berate it.

Boston Finally Realizes the 24 Hour Gas Lamps Lighting Our Streets Aren't Exactly Green Tech

Boston Globe - For decades, they have been Boston’s eternal flames, burning bright day and night — vintage gas lamps strung along narrow, twisting streets of Beacon Hill and Charlestown, Bay Village, the North End, and the Back Bay. Hardly beacons of energy efficiency, the 2,800 lamps are environmentally retro in a world turning greener. But 600 gas lamps will soon be fitted with automatic igniters that make them flicker on at nightfall and off at daybreak, and save the city roughly $140,000 a year in fuel bills while reducing carbon emissions. The $450,000 cost of the devices — which work much the same as a grill igniter, by creating a spark — will be covered by an energy efficiency grant awarded by the state’s Department of Energy Resources.  “Those gas streetlights are so important for the character and history of Boston,’’ City Councilor Matt O’Malley said. “But right now, it is so counter-intuitive that they are left on during the day.’’ The first gas lamps came to life at Haymarket Square in 1828, installed by the Boston Gas Company as a demonstration. Six years later, they appeared around Faneuil Hall. By the late 1800s, electric lamps were in vogue, supplanting their quaint gas forebears. And so it re mained until 1962, when the city, hoping to recapture the charm of an earlier era, reverted to gas lamps in Boston’s historic neighborhoods, a back-to-the-future transition that continued through the 1990s. “I’m all for saving money in the city,’’ said Geoff Smith, who has lived on Beacon Hill for seven years. “With fossil fuels being such a problem, it’s good to hear they’re doing this.’’

I'm just glad we discovered a way to conserve energy by using the Sun's natural ability to provide light this century...it would have been really embarrasing if we went a whole other 100 years before we figured this shit out.

I also love the fact that it took a fat government grant for us to get on this...like saving energy and money just wasn't important until the project became free because our comically indebted federal government decided to pay us to update our century old lamp posts. 

If it  took a century to figure out that we could save on fossil fuels by just turning off the lamps during the day then the Big Dig follies make a whole lot more sense.  I mean couldn't we have paid a few homeless guys to go around lighting and extinguishing the lamps every day? Wouldn't that have been cheaper than burning oil 24 hours a day for decades like some Saudi Arabian fat-cats?  

While we're thinking about new ideas, one other suggestion would be to try going with the whole electricity fad....I know, I know, it may just be a flash in the pan, but call me crazy, I think it may have what it takes to make it. 

New Zealand Penis Shaped Crop Circles Immortalized on Google Earth

CROP circles might be known for their beauty and paranormal allure, but the giant phalluses etched into the field of a New Zealand high school hold no such mystique. Fairfield College, in the North Island town of Hamilton, has been snapped by satellite cameras with six huge penises burnt into the grass. "At first I thought it was a large piece of artwork," he said of the shot, which shows cartoon-like phalluses of various sizes, some several metres across.  It happened over a weekend but it wasn't until the grass died off bit by bit that phallic symbols started to pop up around the school grounds. Every week another crude image revealed itself, much to the dismay of staff. "There's not really much we could do about it," he told the newspaper. "The caretaker took some more weedkiller and tried to camouflage it a bit."  Kiwis however, thought the prank was hilarious, with 70 adding mostly encouraging comments to the online story, like "Freakin brilliant!!! Love it!!! Classic piece of adolescent artwork." One gave the artists an A+, top marks for cunning, planning, chemistry and geometry, while another said their anatomy detailing left a lot to be desired.

After bringing you one amazing offering the internet has, I bring you a second one.  This just doesn't make the news without Google Earth.  Without the technology of the internet these fun-loving Kiwi's immortal prank would have been...well mortal. Probably would have had to go up to the roof to see it and the amazement would have lasted all  but two weeks. 

Kiwi's or New Zealanders, or whatever they like to be called are quickly becoming my favorite nation of people.  Long overshadowed by their awesome Australian cousins, the Kiwi's have been coming on strong.  They keep this up they may just become the favorites for my country of adoption when I inevitably flee this country.  

PS: I wonder what the caretaker did to camouflage a quarter mile long cock?  Like you can't just fill it in that just makes if bolder.  Did he give it wings? Like some kind of mythical cock-beast? Draw flowers around it? What did he do? Terrible job by the reporter right there, that's a follow up question you have to ask.    

Wake Up With: The Most Beautiful Video the People of the Internet Have to Offer

Timelapse - The City Limits from Dominic on Vimeo.

This is what the internet is all about. This is what is so great about the world wide web.  Something so amazing, that without the internet you wouldn't have seen.  It's not like you're going to flip on local access cable and see this beautifully shot video of some of the greatest living cities in the world...well unless you happen to live in the same time as Dominic.  

It's videos like this that give me the hope that the internet isn't just full of porn, loud news and louder cynical bloggers.

PS: If you're not watching in full screen, you're wasting your time.

Double PS: Scoring anything with the music from the end of Inception will give me the goosebumps every time, guaranteed.  Though given the dreamscaping/architecture theme of the film, scoring this particularly amazing video with the music is even more relevant.

Ok, back to your regularly scheduled cynical blogging.