Big Day Tomorrow

4 Day weekend coming up for CW, only I gots no real plans to speak of for tomorrow so I've decided to try living the life of a full time blogger for the day.  Wake up around 10, watch some Sportscenter, eat some cereal in my boxers, and then browse the internet and report on what I find all day long, maybe fit a shower in there somewhere, who knows?  The only thing thats certain is I'll be making blogging history with the Alt-Tabs first full time day of work.

As most of you don't know, or even care to know, this site was started the last time I was bored at home on a day off from the cube farm.  The result of that decision has been a steady stream of insight into my rants, thoughts, opinions, thoughtpinions, and musings on a wide, yet shallow range of topics.  The only problem is that stream has been constricted to only my friends and pretend friends (via facebook).  Well no more.  I'm going to make a point of going down and joining the cheap bastards who mooch off the free wi-fi of Panera and Starbucks to conduct some gorilla advertising the likes of which the public has seen countless times before.  It's not that I don't appreciate the 60 or so of you who visit, I just feel that my rather juvenile ramblings should  be shared with so many more and since you guys telling your friends one at a time each Friday like I ask you to do ( you are doing that right? Right?) doesn't seem to be increasing the readership it looks like I'll be taking it upon myself.

Mike And Molly

Fox News - A writer for Marie Claire magazine was forced to issue an apology Tuesday for writing an online opinion column in which she called overweight people "aesthetically displeasing" and compared them to alcoholics and heroin addicts...In her column, Kelly railed against the CBS sitcom “Mike and Molly” and compared watching an obese person to “watching a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair.”...

Among her criticisms were:

“I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.”

 “I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So ... points for trying?”

 “I have a few friends who could be called plump. I’m not some size-ist jerk.”

 “I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Ummm, so what did she do wrong here and why is she apologizing?  Look, what she says may be mean spirited, and probably would offend me if I were the size of those two land monsters (just like the term land monster would) but the woman writes a blog, its an expression of opinion, don't apologize.  She is not a politician, reporter or influence maker of any kind. I'm so tired of people having to apologize for expressing their opinions in a forum where people have a choice to listen or turn away. 

So she doesn't feel comfortable watching fat people beat around the bush (very large bushes in their case) about intimacy.  I think most people if they're being completely honest would agree here, its a bit unsettling and I certainly don't want to watch it while I'm eating anything.

The truly sad thing here is I think both of these people are actually decent actors and could be funny in just about any role, unfortunately they've been type cast as the fat people that they are and are forced to deliver food, clothing and other size related jokes to the background accompaniment of laugh tracks (your show sucks if you have to encourage your audience to laugh).  Where were all these people who were writing into Marie Claire about a blog with a readership barely larger than yours truly's when the writers of Mike and Molly were pitching a show loaded with fat jokes and fat people innuendos?  Shouldn't they be more outraged that the only job two Super Plus sized people could land (despite their talent) was a show that would poke fun at their size? Hypocritical politically correct assholes as usual.

Fun Things To Do At Work

Yeah browsing the internet and Alt-Tabbing it here can kill time and occasionally be fun but what do you guys do to really cut loose while at the office? Any games to speak of?  See today is my Friday and I'm looking to take slacking off to a whole new level today.  

Prior to becoming a lower level leader my old team used to have tons of games and pranks we'd play back and forth.  This was back when I enjoyed going to work, not so much any more.  I'm sure a large part of that has to do with joining the quasi-middle manager ranks,  you lose all the shenanigans, pranks and camaraderie that you have as an entry level worker.  Its similar to how kids lose their imagination and creativity once they start hitting the teen years (of course the analogy falls apart there; teens lose their imagination because they're too distracted by their hormones and the pursuit of one day having sex, I've lost my fun and shenanigans because of responsibilities, nagging clients and never ending excel sheets).  I'm changing that today, having a throw back day of sorts, I'll be bringing back some of the activities of my younger years before I became a corporate shill, feel free to join me or put my ideas in play at your place of business:

Elastics: Pretty straight forward, four or five of us would raid the supply closet and have all out war for the work week.  We had one rule, no straight on shots, didn't need anyone yelping in pain giving the whole thing away.  But shots deflected off the ceiling, cube walls, computer screen etc...were encouraged.

Crosswords: Find the simplest crossword puzzle you can in one of your areas free newspapers, pick up a bunch of copies and distribute to your friends.  Race to finish, googling is aloud but you'll receive the appropriate amount of shit from the purists among us.  This is time killing, fun and decreases productivity for a whole group of people.

Nerf Gun Wars-  You have to be careful with this one in the 0 tolerance world we live in now.  But back a couple years ago my whole team of 8 or 9 people had arsenals of nerf guns that we'd break out when elastics just weren't getting the job done (I even had a nerf sniper rifle that shot up to 80 feet with a scope). This is extremely fun but hard to hide so you'd better hope your office is ok with this type of tom-foolery.

Cologne Wars- Its pretty simple, find the worst smelling cologne or perfume you can (Brut for men works well, you can buy it at Walgreens) and spray it in unsuspecting co-workers cubes (on their chair, on a napkin hidden under the desk, in a drawer, you get the idea), hope they don't tie it back to you and watch them exact pay back on an innocent team member.

Barricading Absent Cubes- A team building effort corporate would be proud of.  Its exactly as it sounds, gather a group, and block off or fill someones cube with boxes and stacks of paper.  This can also be used in a spiteful way if you have someone that's calling out to often and pushing all their work off on you.  Load up that cube while they're out and let them come back into the mess.