Crane Delivering Pool Crashes through Dudes House

SHOREVIEW, Minn. -- A home improvement project went terribly wrong when a crane fell on a home in Shoreview. Crews were trying to install a fiberglass pool in the homeowners backyard when the crane came crashing down onto the house, causing the truck to tip up into the air. "He was just shaking in his boots, he was scared," Krause said. "I just heard the guy scream, and as soon as he yelled, I heard a noise, I knew something was wrong, I turned and ran."

Ummm, if I saw this I'm pretty sure my first question wouldn't be "Are you okay?" It would probably be something along the lines of WHAT THE FUCK.

Plus its a stupid question, of course the guy isn't ok, he's 35 feet up in the air trapped in an upright crane. I'm pretty sure this isn't your typical, everyday situation.  Like what is he supposed to say, "Yea buddy I'm fine, just hold on, I'll shimmy on down." 

Come on guy, get your head out of your ass. Dudes, garage is gone, his pool is presumably shattered and there is a gigantic truck pointed upright on his front lawn. How about a little urgency.  You act like you see this all the time, must be the worst contractor ever if you're not shocked by this.

So Tired of Saying "Hi" to Every Tom, Dick and, Sally

I'm feeling a bit cranky this morning so bear with me.  

Does anyone else get exhausted by having to say "hi" or "hey" or giving the polite smile and half a wave to everyone they see in their office, at school, walking in the city, etc...I'm sooo sick of it.   

It's gotten to the point where I wait as long as I can between bathroom breaks because I'm tired of passing people I otherwise don't ever talk to and having to say Hi.  I know it seems trivial, but it annoys the shit out of me.  It's just so forced and fake.  Can't we just go about our business as the strangers that we are? Do we really have to pretend to perk up a little bit simply because we see another human being?  

I legit had to say hey to 4 different people that I never talk to yesterday on a walk back from the bathroom. I was so aggravated by the time I got back to my cube that I had to go take a walk to cool down, even though it meant risking bumping into more people I had to half-heartedly greet.  Because God forbid someone smiles or says hi to me and I don't say it back.  Then I'm the weirdo who's unfriendly, walking around snubbing people .  But is it really un-friendly when you've never met the person?

Newsflash, I don't know you, chances are I don't want to get to know you, and even if you did get to know me, I'd probably annoy you.  So just go on, go fax whatever it is that you were walking to and I'll continue on with my time killing stroll around the building.  

It's nothing personal, I just don't see the point.  Especially in a work setting. Unless I work directly with you, or have hung out with you outside of work, just don't expect anything from me.  I'm not being an ass, I'm not snubbing you, I'm just choosing to ignore the fact that you're alive, because quite fankly, you don't factor into my life at all at this point, and that's just fine with me. 

American Wasting His time and Money Searching Underwater for Osama, Dudes Obviously at Area 51

To be honest, I'm shocked it took this long.  I mean I assumed every Jihad treasure hunter would be out there the next day with some kind of primitive bamboo breathing apparatus and a pair of underwater goggles.  Never imagined it would take a month and a half and it would be some rich white dude just out for the thrill of it (and that's what it is bud, spare me the "out for the truth" routine. You're out for the fame and thrill).

And while I realize this guy may be a brilliant sunken ship hunter, this is a bit different.  Its a dude in a body bag, its not some gigantic boat resting on the bottom of the ocean.  And that's aside the fact that he's obviously not down there.  That was obviously a decoy, Osama is clearly floating in embalming liquid at Area 51 along side the Aliens, John Wayne, and Elvis.  I thought everyone knew that, no?

PS: Aren't Pirates running rampant in that part of the ocean? Like good luck there buddy. I'm sure announcing an underwater expedition to search for Osama isn't going to attract all kinda of fundamentalists pirates. 

Hitler Sorely Disappointed over Lebron and the Heats Loss

Wait...wouldn't Hitler be rooting for Dirk?

Putting aside this blatant historical incorrectness (not a word), you have to admit, Hitler is kind of a funny guy now.  Not real life Hitler, but the satirical, bumbling buffoon of a guy that he's being portrayed as these days.  Legit this is the third video I've seen dubbed over and I've damn near pissed myself every time.

But when did this change happen? When did Hitler torching Jews come off the taboo list and on to the satirical comedy list?  If every taboo subject has a wait list until you can start joking about it then Hitler has to be the standard measure here, right?   For example you'd say that JFK jokes took Half a Hitler before they weren't taboo anymore.  Slavery took 2.5 Hitlers (though is still off limits depending on who your audience is...Michael Richards).  

PS: No way Lebron knows who the Fuehrer is.  Guy doesn't even know who Larry Bird is when he steals his french fries, no way he knows who this crazy Penguin like German guy is.  He's probably at home trying to figure out why Dirk's father is rooting for him.  

My Laptop Just Shit Itself

Welp, that's it folks.  My laptop just up and quit this morning.  Woke up ready to go about my usual blogging routine and was met with confusing array of blinking lights and beeping noises. The screen just straight up refusing to come on, didn't even get to hear the charming windows log in music one more time, it just can't get that far.  A sad, sad day.  It was a beast in its time, in both size and performance, but now it's day has come.  

That said, if the blog is lacking this week its because I'm making do with a 10 inch netbook until I find the Beast's heir apparent.  And while I love the convenience, portability, and overall quickness of this netbook, The Beast she aint.  No one's ever run a fledgling blog empire on a 10 inch mini before and I can understand why.  

The bright side? I do get to go search out new technology, a favorite pass-time of mine.  Do I go with one of those cool looking all in one PC's? Another gigantic 17 inch laptop? Do I check out that deal I keep seeing on TV where you buy a laptop and get a new XBOX? So many options and choices to review in the next few days.  Until then bear with me as my seemingly gigantic hands adjust to this tiny keyboard.