Paris Hilton Had Boob Job at 14, Extorted Father at 18.

Those eyes are pure evil

Fox News - While he may be known as a “pickup artist” following his 2005 New York Times Bestseller, “The Game: Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists,” Strauss is releasing the refreshingly raw book “Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead” – comprised of dozens of candid and controversial interview transcripts with Hollywood’s hottest stars...

My favorite excerpt:

And although Paris Hilton told us in 2009 that she would never get breast implants out of a fear of needles, a decade before that Strauss claims to have met the then18-year-old party princess (prior to her days in the limelight) and she allegedly told him quite a different story. “I had a breast job when I was 14, but my mother made me take them out,” Hilton apparently told Strauss, according to the book. “I’m thinking about posing for Playboy. They love famous people’s kids. And the only reason I’d do it is because when my dad finds out, he’ll pay me double the money not to do it.”

I find it fascinating to know that she was a cunniving little bitch even during her teen years.  Just playing chess while all the other broads her age were playing checkers.  Your average 14-18 year old girl is just trying to get her boyfriend to pay for a dinner date, Paris? She's getting boob jobs and using Playboy to extort daddy for millions, child's play to her.  If this isn't the definitive argument for nature  over nurture then I don't know what is.  Only someone born a bitch knows how to play those moves in their teen years.  That kind of scheming usually takes years to master, not for Paris.

And really what choice did Daddy Hilton have? Pay up or have your teenage daughters Ta-Ta's go on display for all the world to see.  It does make me wonder what happened with the whole sex tape thing though? You'll pay for her not to appear in Playboy but won't pay when she threatens to star in her very own porn?  I guess he must have just called her bluff, been extorted one too many times and didn't think she'd go through with it?  If that's the case he just severely misread his own daughters slut-level.

The lesson in all this, pray for sons. Pray for sons.

Thrifty Millionaire Uses Stolen Credit Card to Buy $40 worth of Pizza

AOL - Chew on this: Police say a millionaire dentist used a stolen credit card to buy $40 worth of pizza -- then bragged to investigators about his net worth.  Even though he had $250 in his wallet, Richard Lewis Ludwig didn't hesitate to charge $40.64 on a stranger's credit card that he found on Friday in a shopping center's parking lot, according to deputy sheriffs in Polk County, Fla....Majeed reportedly called his credit card company and learned that someone had used his card to make a purchase at a restaurant in the complex. The victim alerted authorities, who confronted Ludwig while he was waiting for his two large pies with extra olives.  Ludwig reportedly confessed he found the credit card on the ground, then laughed while telling deputies that he is "absolutely not" experiencing financial problems and, in fact, has a net worth of between $3 million and $4 million.

A lot of people are going to be all over Richard Ludwig, not this blogger.  You wonder how the rich get rich? It's by pulling this kind of stuff.  You see an advantageous opportunity and you take it.  Great risk comes with great reward and this guy obviously knows about this better than your average person.  

I'm sure it's not the first time he's used stolen funds to purchase fast food, probably won't be the last.  The pros just outweigh the potential cons.  Pro, free meal. Nourishment and an extra $40 in the guys pocket, that extra $40 saved will accrue .40 cents in interest in your average high yield checking account over the course of a year.  That's his profit.  So now, not only is he not hungry, but he's $40.40 richer than he would have been.  

The cons? A slap on the wrist and an embarrasing couple of weeks every time he sees his neighbors or co-workers. Which probably won't be as bad as you think.  I assume his neighbors are all rich as well, how do you think they got that way?  Far be it for them to judge.

Would have been the perfect crime too, except he committed the one cardinal sin of using a found or stolen credit card for food, never order extras.  Just get the cheese pizza and get out.  Those extra olives are the reason this dude spent a few hours in the clink.  That's an amatuer mistake you wouldn't expect from a rich veteran such as himself.

US Drug Czar Passes Out Twice While Giving Speech At Harvard

BOSTON - It appears that the flu is to blame for causing the White House drug czar to faint twice on a visit to Massachusetts...A spokesman says Drug Policy Director Gil Kerlikowske fell ill and fainted Tuesday afternoon while speaking to law students at Harvard University. Emergency workers treated Kerlikowske at the scene and took him to Massachusetts General Hospital, where he was evaluated and released....Drug office spokesman Rafael Lemaitre said Wednesday that Kerlikowske spent the night at the hospital and tests indicate he has the flu. Although it's unclear when he'll be discharged, Kerlikowske expects to return to work shortly.

Nice try Gil Kerlikowske.  Blaming it on the flu, oldest junky in denial trick in the book. You're not fooling me. I've had the flu before, and I sure as hell wasn't passing out left and right while giving speeches.  You just sweat your way through it and knock yourself out with a Purple Monster when you're finally through your day (2 parts Wine, 1 Part Nyquil, Purple Monster).

I don't see what the big cover up is about anyway.  The guy's title is Drug Czar.  What kind of Czar would he be if he wasn't keeping up with what's hot on the street. I think it's fairly obvious that's what happened here. 

Everyone knows the rich preppies at Harvard have access to the best stashes around. Mr. Drug Czar was probably just fullfilling his administrative duty before the speech, ripping back a few bong tokes just to ensure the future of America's best and brightest weren't in jeopardy from any tainted cannabis.  I mean these are our future Doctors, Lawyers, and Politicians people, we can't have them smoking just any stems and seeds off the street.

So Mr. Drug Czar, I ain't mad at ya for being a light weight and passing out in front of a live audience. I'm mad at you for the lack of honesty.  You're the Drug Czar, people look up to you, and you owe it to your fans and supporters to give them the honest hard truth.

Scorned Wife Flies Cross Country to Cut Crotch Out of Pants of Husbands Lover

Trib Local - A wife flew to Chicago and cut the crotches out of the pants of a woman who was vacationing with her Wilmette husband, police said...The man and his female companion returned from a week-long vacation together in St. Lucia on March 5. The man told police the woman was just a friend and was visiting him from Turkey. She declined to press charges over the damage. The man also told police that he was separated, though not divorced, from his wife, who lives out of state. Police say they found a suitcase in the driveway of his home in the 400 block of Highcrest Drive — and inside it, her clothing was riddled with scissor cuts. “All of the damage to the pants was in the area of the … crotch,” a police report said.


Honestly this is one of those situations where the title is almost good enough on its own.

It takes a special kind of love to drop everything for two days just to fly across country for the sole purpose of exacting revenge on your husbands mistress. The kind of love that can ignore the fact that your husband is a lying, cheating, bastard, who just took a trip to the tropics with someone other than you and focus your energy on what's really important. Getting back at the slut who stole your man.

Some may argue that if you're going to go so far out of your way as flying across country you should probably have a better plan for revenge than cutting holes in the tramp's clothes.

To that I'd ask, have you ever walked around in crotchless pants? That shit is embarrasing.  Strangers giving you funny looks, convenience stores refusing you service, and forget about public transportation. I'm skeeved enough about sitting on the subway with my crotch covered, nevermind if I were bare-balling it in the same seat a homeless man took a nap in 15 minutes ago. 

For the next week or so that is going to be this womans reality, it takes time to build a whole new warddrobe, especially for girls.  This hussy is going to be forced to walk around society in crotch-less pants as punishment like some sort of modern day Scarlet Letter.

So was it worth it? I'd say so.

Obama In Boston Yesterday, Winning, Spreading the Word of Charlie Sheen

Even Obama is on board. Just winning every moment.

President Obama was in Boston yesterday, unfortunately The Alt-Tab wasn't allowed anywhere near the commander in chief during his time here. Something about a lack of real media credentials.  Whatever, if the secret service doesn't want to get with the times and accept new media, that's their issue, because The Alt-Tab got the message loud and clear while watching the evening news.

If the above backdrop is to be believed, President Obama is about to start Winning, with Mr. Charlie Sheen himself as his adviser.   He's got all the time in the world now that the trolls of CBS have relinquished him of his duty from Two and a Half Men, the man is going to need a job, and this is the job he was born for. Chavez, Putin, and Kim Jong IL should all be pissing their pants right now if Charlie Sheen really has stepped on as President Obama's chief adviser.

No more sitting in the middle ground and getting pummeled for this administration, it's either violent love, or violent hatred from here on out.  No more third world shit holes taking our financial support and funneling it back to extremists who would plot our downfall.  The days of diplomacy are over, you're either on our side or you're not, and we've got F-18's on holding patterns waiting to deliver their ordinance if you're not.

Watch out world , this country is about to start winning again and the fools and soft targets who would stand in our way have been warned. 

PS: I'm just interpreting this whole thing, I saw the video with the tv on mute while I was drifting to sleep.  There's a chance I may be way off base on Obama's whole message, but doubt that's the case.

Heat Lose 5th Straight, Delusional Lebron Doesn't Think It's a Big Deal

MIAMI -- Erik Spoelstra vowed to keep the Miami Heat fighting. Chris Bosh acknowledged he needs to do more and lobbied to get more opportunities. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade insisted their confidence remains high. The Heat script hasn't changed much lately. Nor have the results, as Miami's freefall continues...sending Miami to its fifth straight loss overall and sixth in eight games since the All-Star break..."How do we explain it? We can't," James said. "This isn't rock bottom for us. Crazy thing is, we could lose every game and still make the playoffs in the Eastern Conference."

So what exactly is rock bottom, if this isn't it? Was it the other night when you and your teammates cried like a bunch of high school JV girls? Will it be after your 6th loss in a row to the Lakers this Thursday? Or will it be early this summer after your first round flame out of the playoffs.  I guess the latter would be the smart money play.  

But way to have a winning attitude Lebron, what a total fraud. Yeah, I'm sure that's what your teammates, coaches, and fans want to hear after your super team continued your super slide.  What a fucking phony.  A phony, that's all that can be said.  All the talent in the world and the brains and instincts of a 5 year old child. Playoffs? Playoffs? You guys would be lucky to win a game right now. Playoffs?

Maybe talking about your team losing out the rest of the regular season amidst a horrendous slide and questions coming at your team's makeup from all angles isn't the best idea. And you'd probably know that if your handlers weren't childhood friends with nothing more than high school educations, or if anyone anywhere ever slapped you upside your head and told you to be a man...one or the other.  

Latin Hotel Plays Hilarious & Horrifying Prank on Guests (vid)

Congrats to Latin American, awesome prank, and now I'll never visit your part of the globe.  

Here's the really scary part about that prank.  It worked the way the hotel intended this time around, a bunch of pussies like the CW shitting their pants over the sight of a little girl because of my Hollywood upbringing, but what if things went differently?  

If the movies have taught us anything (other than instilling an insane fear of pale children), it's that sooner or later a hero will emerge. What does the hotel say to the parents of that child actor after this prank's protagonist comes along and hacks that girl up with the fire safety axe at the end of the hall?  Sooner or later you're going to prank the wrong person who's going to take matters into their own hands with this little devil bitch, and that aint going to be pretty.