I'm Starting to Lose Faith in Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign

Fox News - Stars from Robert De Niro to Jerry Seinfeld have hopped on the anti-Trump bandwagon. But not every Hollywood honcho agrees with them....After Seinfeld relieved himself of his St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital hosting duties, “Celebrity Apprentice” winner Bret Michaels stepped up to the plate...Former “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant Gary Busey also told FOX411.com he’s firmly on Team Trump, even though Trump axed him from the show last week...

Does trump want to do this or not? Like what the hell Donald? Pay those ex-celebrity apprentice castoffs a mill or two to shut the fuck up so this presidency can get off the ground.  The people can get by your hair, your general lack of social awareness, your buffoonery, and lack of experience.   No one, and I mean no one is going to get over the fact that Gary Busey just endorsed you publicly.  I mean can he even vote? He has to have a felony drug arrest by now, right?

I guess Bret Michael's might not be bad, def pulls the cougar vote, but what good does his support do if he’s dead before election day? He’s got to be running a delicate balance health wise over there, have to think one more STD and he’s toast.  Only so many diseases, boils, warts, and creepy crawlers your junk can take before it up and kills you.

If Donald's serious about this he needs to contact me.  I’ll change up the general theme of this blog in a second. Just toss out Kim Jung Il type propaganda about the Donald 24/7 (which wouldn’t be hard, pretty sure you could just stick a mic on him during his waking hours and pull enough material).

Warrant Out for Mans Arrest After He Pisses on Cough Drops in Walgreens (with video!)

Huh, that's kind of a weird thing to do. Wonder why he picked the cough drops?  Something going on there that we should know about? Effervescence or some shit?  I mean he could have picked the adult diapers section, paper towel/tp area, children's toys which were sure to include sand castle type buckets. But he chose cough drops, and that’s going to puzzle me until about 7:30 tonight. ..because that’s when I’m going out and buying a few packs of cough drops to test this out.  I have to know, its going to bother me until I do.

The Most Stressful Jobs List is a Crock of Shit. Here's One Working Man's Objections

(FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - A survey by an Internet job finder has ranked the most stressful and the least stressful careers (additional lists at the link above):

MOST STRESSFUL

1. Commercial Air Pilot, $106,151

2. Public Relations Officer, $90,160

3. Corporate Executive, $161,141

4. Photojournalist, $40,209

5. Newscaster, $50,456

6. Advertising Executive, $62,105

7. Architect, $73,193

8. Stockbroker, $67,470

9. Medical Technician, $30,168

10. Real Estate Agent, $40,357

 Ok, buckle up because this is going to be a lenghty one people.  I've got a few major problems with this list:

1. Blogger/Corporate middle manager isn't anywhere on this list.  Newsflash, this is stressful as fuck.  Analyzing excel spreadsheets one second, alt-tabbing it to The Alt-Tab to keep the blogs fresh the next, tweeting new posts on my phone on my lap under my desk hoping people walking by don't think I'm diddling myself. It's not easy.

2. Politicians aren't on there, see today's earlier post.

3. The President isn't on here.  Most stressful job on Earth, hands down.  Not only does everyone hate you (including your supporters) but you've got the entire weight of the country on you, even for shit you have no control over.  Look at Bush, catching all that flack for Katrina, like the guy can control tropical depressions and weather patters coming from the West coast of Africa.  Shit is nuts, but its the job.

4.  Airline Pilots are number 1? Come on bro, you kidding me?  That job is the balls.  First off you get up to your cruising altitude and you're doing just that, cruising.  Take a nap, chat up the young female flight attendant, do whatever you want.  You're only really flying for like 10 minutes on take off and 20 minutes on the descent and landing, that's it.  It's not like there's stop lights and traffic jams, no jackass teenagers with brand new licenses flying like maniacs.  Plus you get to live it up in the airport bars for free. The life, the absolute life.  Complaining about being a pilot is like complaining about being a rock star.

5. Newscaster - I had no idea I made more than most of these people on the Fox 25 Morning show.  Like I'm sure one or two of them out do me, but 50K? Those guys are on air from like 4AM-10AM. 4 AM!  I haven't seen what 4 AM looks like ever.  50K certainly aint getting me up and make up ready, in studio at that time.  No sir, uh-uh.

6.  General Lack of Public Employees, specifically social workers - Worst job on earth.  Glad someone's willing to do it, but its the worst.  You see the absolute worst in humanity and make as much bank as a high school janitor.  Can't even imagine how many houses those people leave not knowing whether or not the kid they just left with their deadbeat parents is going to live through the week.

7.  Real Estate Agents - No offense, but this job is absolute cake these days.  Sorry, the internet does 90% of the work for you.  Just prepare the paper work that I'll need to sign and you're all set.  Seriously, I'm going through this right now.  We look online, find places we'd like to see, if there's an open house we go on our own, if not we e-mail our agent and they set up a viewing.  If we want to put an offer in they give us a piece of paper they probably made 4,000 copies of and ask us to fill in the blanks and sign.  What exactly is the stressful part of this job?  It's a license to steal.  I go out, find a house, mortgage my life away, and you make like 2.5% for photocopying a few sheets of paper and e-mailing them to the correct parties.  Yea real tough life.

Local Politicians Still Holding Town Hall Meetings Must Have a Death Wish

Fox News - Democratic lawmakers and their liberal supporters are trying to ignite a storm of protest at town hall meetings being held by Republicans during the current congressional recess that they hope will give them momentum going into the 2012 presidential election season. Rep. Lou Barletta of Pennsylvania faced outbursts at his town hall meeting that led police to remove a constituent. Others, including Rep. Charlie Bass of New Hampshire, Patrick Meehan of Pennsylvania, Robert Dold of Illinois, and Paul Gosar of Arizona, were grilled over the budget plan that would cut nearly $6 trillion from the deficit, in part by making the elderly pay more for their Medicare. Ryan himself was booed lustily last week at one of his town hall meetings when he expressed support for cutting taxes for the wealthiest Americans.

Say what you want about politicians these days, but they legit have more balls than anyone in the room.  The fact that they can be so openly loathed and still go about their daily business holding these town hall meetings for the same people who endlessly ridicule them is something to be commended. 

I couldn't do it, that's for sure.  I'm the one that'll lay on the horn, mean mug you, chuck the finger, and then when you pull up along side me at the awkward stop light I'll be staring straight ahead unflinchingly, not even thinking about looking to the side to see whatever pissed off motorist is staring daggers at me.  Not politicians, they seem to thrive off being hated. They've been charged with a job and they're going to try and do it.

And that's the thing I don't think people get about politicians.  Agree or disagree with them, but everyone does get that they're not out there intentionally fucking shit up, right?  I mean these guys aren't going out and deviously plotting the down fall of Ameriac like they're on Montgomery Burns' panel of doom or anything.  What the hell would the point of that be?  If everything goes to shit here they'll have nothing left to take advantage of.  They have as much to gain from a strong economy as you and I do, and probably more to lose.  

So everyone relax just a little bit.  If you disagree, vote them out, get involved at your next town meeting in an educated and adult way.  But don't go all Sgt. Slaughter threatening to skull fuck your local State Representative like the psycho pictured above.  There's nothing productive about that.

Now back to your regularly scheduled nonsense...

Is Charmin Really Making Money off People Not Knowing How to Clean Their Ass?

So this is really an on-going epidemic, huh? Like at first I thought these would phase out a couple years ago, but apparently people who don't know how to properly clean their own ass is a larger consumer base than I would have ever thought.  Has to be for this product to survive.


Buying TP is an embarrassing enough project, rolling up to the cash register with a 48 pack of toilet paper, afraid to make eye contact with the cashier in fear that they'll think you're in the midst of a massive case of the shits.   Now you've got to worry about that minimum wage employee checking out what brand you've got and judging you on whether or not you're the kind of person who can't wipe their own ass without leaving shit stained flecks of TP behind.  Just a gross, disgusting, filthy group of people we're talking about here.


PS: for my money I buy the brand with the puppy on it.  Puppies are just cuter than bears, and yea, that's what I base my toilet paper consumerism on . 

This Lawnmower Powered Wheel Chair is the Definition of Awesome (video)

Lawnmower-Powered Wheelchair - Watch more Funny Videos

Wheel Chair people are best. They just don't give a damn as to what people think.  "Oh I ran over your toe? Too frigen bad, I can't even use my feet."  "Oh pulling my wheel chair through traffic with a gas powered lawnmower rolling blades up isn't safe? Well at least you can walk."  They can get away with murderer and they know it.  I respect that.

PS: wonder if anyone ever suggested he just buy a ride around mower? Kill two birds in one stone.

Alt-Tab Challenge: Help Me Out PageView the New ESPNW

I guess we shouldn't be shocked, it was only a matter of time, I mean the WNBA has been a failing, subsidized product for like a decade now, why not start a website dedicated solely to their meager fan base, right?

Guys, it is exactly what you'd think it would be.  Pseudo sports reporting, memorable moments in womans sporting history (is there anything other than the Brandi Chastain game and Kerri Strugg? Can they even make a top 10 list?), figure skating news, advice on trapeze workouts (yes that's real, see screen shot above), and a tribute to Violet Palmers first game as a woman ref'ing an NBA game (seriously). Heinous stuff for a sports fan.

So here's the mission, will you help The Alt-Tab out hit ESPNW? Can I hang my hat on that goal for this site? It's been a while since I've had some sort of focus or goal (that hole digging competition never happened for the 3 of you wondering), maybe this is it.  I have no qualms with the fact that the fan base would be largely misogynistic fools and trolls. 

I feel like that's who I'm silently catering to at this point anyway, might as well openly welcome them.  A brief run down of recent search results that some how landed people at The Alt Tab: "Hookers" , "Miley Cyrus Sex Doll" (ok that one is legit), "pin up porn?" , and my favorite, "Can I Get Pink Eye from Stagnate Water."   

So as you can see, I'm not exactly sacrificing a high brow audience by undertaking this goal.  So can we do it? Probably not.  It's going to require a ton of help and word of mouth on your part.  Spread the news, tell a co-worker, tell someone in your dorm, pay a homeless guy a couple bucks to hold a sign with our address on it.  Get the movement started people.   Sports news was one of the last all male arena's let's not let this ESPNW crap take that away from us.