US Quest for World Domination

US and Australia Strengthen Military Ties - The United States and Australia will step up their military cooperation, with Canberra offering U.S. forces increased access to Australian bases, according to news reports from Australia...Military hardware and supplies will be positioned at Australian bases, "including large amounts of combat equipment for the typical U.S. Marine task force," the Herald reported.

You'd think stepping up military efforts on an Island location, literally in the middle of no where with no real threats of attack wouldn't make any sense right? Well you've obviously never played the game of Risk before (a game of world domination). Because if you had you'd recognize immediately that this is the old "blossoming onion" strategy popularized by Kramer on Seinfeld.

Make no mistake, the US will rule Asia with in one year. First we'll stack all our cannons, horsemen, and infantry in the down under, and then we'll funnel outward one nation at a time, first taking Jakarta, then all the smaller nations in Indonesia, then make our way through South East Asia (that's right N. Korea, your time is coming) setting up for the final show down with China.

That is unless our troops get soft realizing there is nothing else to do in Australia except get drunk off tall boys of Fosters and do Crocodile Dundee impressions to irritate the locals.

Anne Hathaway Knows How To Play The Game

Fox News -In her latest drama “Love & Other Drugs,” Anne Hathaway portrays free-spirited Maggie Murdock, who suddenly finds herself under the “drug” of love when she is charmed by Viagra salesman Jamie Randall, played by Jake Gyllenhaal...“It’s racy – very racy. I keep asking people if it is too sexy for them. However it is just part of the job,” Hathaway told Pop Tarts at the film’s Hollywood premiere last week. “That being said, it is intensely mortifying taking your clothes off in front of other people, but it is also intensely mortifying doing a lot of things in front of people and I’ve learned how to deal with that. Who  knows if I will ever do it again, it depends on the material.”

Anne Hathaway knows how to play the Hollywood game better than most A-listers and this just proves it.  Her movies and roles have bombed since 2005 (Devil Wears Prada) and she had to do something about it.  Girly wedding comedies just weren't bringing home the bacon anymore, and now she's making a veteran move, doing the nude scene.

And if that weren't enough, she's playing the media like a fiddle.  Spreading the word about her nude scene to just about any publication or media outlet that will listen, all the while maintaining her princess bride "good girl" image by playing up being "mortified" about being seen naked on film.  Bravo.  It's a tough line to walk and she's doing it brilliantly.  There will be case studies on how to resurrect your career by showing your cans while maintaining your respectable image done in the future, as a guide for all mediocre actresses who want to break through.

PS: I see she even mentioned to keep the media from mentioning that she's previously done nude scenes in the movie Havoc.  We need to get her PR person working over here at The Alt-Tabs.  This blog would be nationally recognized tomorrow. Just amazing.

Half Day Today

Ahhh, the bittersweet half day.  Such a love/hate relationship.  Ultimately though, love wins out for me.  I hate it for one reason and one reason only, having to wake up and go to work.  And while having to go to work is my greatest complaint in life, it doesn't outweigh the multiple things I love about half days.

You get out of work early.  This one seems pretty obvious.  Yeah you still have to wake up to that outrageously loud alarm clock, guzzle coffee that is way to hot to be consumed but you have to drink it immediately because you can't keep your eyes open, and carry out your normal routine for about 4 hours.  But just knowing that you're only there for 4 hours seems to make it bearable.  Brings me back to feeling like a kid again on half days during the school year, when I knew I'd be dominating a game of kick the can, man hunt, or home run derby as soon as they released us.

It saves time off for later in the year.  If I don't need the vacation days for an actual vacation, then I see no harm in spreading the love and taking multiple half days for every full day that I otherwise would have been doing nothing.  Just simple math, more days partially out of the office is greater than the occasional full day in my mind.  Probably the only reason I've made it for this long at my job.  I need these breaks.

And finally, the biggest reason I love half days, you get to rub it into co-workers (lesson as always, I live for spite).  Sure they're jealous the Friday before you have a week off but that's nothing compared to half day envy.  On a regular day off they don't have to see you, sure they may gripe about you not being there (I gripe with the best of them) but there is nothing to be jealous of.  On a half day they have to see that smirk on your face knowing  you'll be leaving those suckers in a few short hours.  They have to hear the sarcastic "have fun the rest of the day" just to remind them that you'll be out having fun and they'll be living their same unchanging life.  And the kicker...(drum roll)...You get to give them the rest of your work that you didn't finish on your way out the door!  The look on their face is always priceless at this point.  And that's what separates a half day from a regular day.  You actually have to see someone looking forward to their day and having more fun than you could ever have on a full day of work.  Well that's me today. Deal with it. 

(no I won't be blogging from home today, I've got better things to do)