Conan O'Brien: Giant Ginger Internet Bully

That's right, I said it. I'm legitimately pissed at you Conan. 

Go back and look at my "multi-denominational holiday post." Ruined. By that gigantic Ruiner, Conan O'brien, and his internet goon squad. Really guys? A holiday post, with a couple of one minute clips from your show, on a blog that the smallest fraction of the internet reads, frankly, is too much of a threat to you? Copyright infringement? Scared those two videos are going to allow me to launch a competing variety/late night talk show on TNT or something? 

Where's your holiday spirit Conan? I doubt that jolly Andy Richter character would approve of this move. I thought you were better than this...Remember when you were all depressed and you thought your life was over because NBC canned your ass (except by canned I mean paid $32.5 million to just walk away and start your own show elsewhere), and the good people of the internet, via twitter, and other various websites gave you hope and supported you, while you lived the life of luxury with no responsibilities and a boatload of cash (essentially allowing you to live my dream where you just have nothing to do and no one to answer to)? Do you remember that?

And this is how you pay the internet back? By pulling copyright infringement crap on some lowly blog (it stings to say that) who appreciated two of your recent bits so much he wanted everyone to get in on the laughs? I mean, I know I only have a small following, but from some of the news I've read, your show could use any bump in ratings you can get, is stopping the spread of your material via the web really the way to increase the visibility of your shows humor? 

Stop being a dickhead Conan. Give those videos back. Embrace the internet, embrace the few fans you have that actually watch the show on television, and then talk you up to their friends and their miniscule blog following. But mostly, just stop feeding in to the Evil Ginger stereotype.

By the way, here's the video, just to spite you.

Know What Song Gets Me Through The Really Tough Days at Work?

That's right, goddamned Toto and the blessed rains of Africa. I can't explain it, just brings me to a much more mellow  place. I'll just be sitting there doing copious amounts of busy work, singing the same few lines over and over in my head, puts me in a trance. Doesn't matter that I don't even know the actual words, I assume I've got the lines down but I've never really stopped to listen to make sure. Just sitting there, happily singing it to myself (sometimes out loud, but under my breath), maybe with the right lyrics, maybe not, but definitely a lot calmer than I would be if I weren't singing anything in my head at all.

Yikes...I honest to God just looked up the lyrics...I was WAYYYY off. Not because I can't hear or anything, now that I'm listening back I can hear, just never paid much attention I guess and inserted the words I thought fit nicely, and frankly, the real song doesn't even make sense to me...

For instance, the real lyric is: "Gonna take some time to do the things we never have." My lyric: "Gonna appreciate all the things that we had"

Like why is he blessing the rains in Africa? This whole time I thought it was about some underpriveledged kid in Africa, one of those "for the cost of a cup of coffee a day" kids, and the singer was blessing the rains to give him a better life and appreciate the things he never had...Turns out that's not the case, at all. Just something about this guys long distance girlfriend flying in and they're going to do some stuff they've never done before (anal?). 

Ruined the whole song for me. Here I am thinking its a lovely tale of caring and humanity, turns out its just some horny long distance romance couple, and a singer who just liked the sound of the phrase "bless the rains down in Africa." Now I've got to find a whole new song to soothe me.

Meanwhile in New Hampshire...

My Fox - A new year brings some interesting new proposals in the Granite State. Among them: the perfume bill, which would ban state employees who interact with the public from wearing any scents. Another state rep is pushing for a vegetarian diet for state prisoners, students to stand during the pledge of allegiance and jurors to be paid $80 a day. And another representative wants to give people with vegetable gardens a $75 property tax cut.

Vegan Prisoners, Bodily Odored Politicians, and rich-ass jurors, welcome to the Granite State. Way to tackle the tough issues guys, like figuring out how to fund your public schools, or closing that budget deficit for 2012...Tossing out tax cuts for Rabbit the Carrot farmer from Winnie the Pooh should do the trick.  Or how about adding that extra lane to I-93 that you've been working on for a legitimate 10 year period at this point? It's one lane fellas, get your shit together. There's no excuse for why a major highway drops down to TWO lanes when it hits your border. None. All the pledge of allegiances and malnourished prisoners in the land aren't going to tackle that issue for you.