Red Sox Fans Pulse Check: Our Pets Heads are Falling Off

Welp, Bobby V is a liar, Josh Beckett is a douche bag, and the team's official problem is it's starting pitching...if you're charting at home that's actually an improvement from a week ago when I wasn't sure exactly what the problem with this team was.

But when your "top 3 pitchers" can't out perform your 4 and 5 guys, a guy who just cracked the big leagues full time this season and another guy who'd been a reliever and hadn't started a game since Single A...that's a recipe for a sucky team.

And not only are they not outperforming these guys...They're not outperforming anyone in the league. I don't have it in me to look it up right now but we have to have the highest Starting Pitcher ERA in baseball, it can't really be close. They suck. Buchholz needs to go away. Make up an injury, send him to the DL with dead arm, bad back, sucky pitcher, whatever flies with the commish's office and get him the fuck out of here.

Beckett...What the fuck dude? When did you decide you just didn't give a shit about anything? "my off day is my off day." Go fly a fucking kite. It wasn't an off day...You were skipped in the rotation, and not just to save you a start, but because there was pain and injury concerns. Go do whatever the hell you want, it's your right, but don't expect anyone to like it, and don't expect the fans to respect you...Nice job turning it around last night too, it'd be one thing if you were all defiant after tossing out 7 innings of 2 run ball or something...its another thing entirely when you goat-the fuck out and can't make it 3 innings. You're the worst. The absolute worst. I can't remember seeing someone who so clearly didn't give a shit about anything in a very long time.

And Bobby V...brought in there to be no-nonsense, break up the buddy-buddy relationship Tito had with the players and you come out with this absolute gem of a lie last night:

"I don't think there's any concern about him making his next start or even if he could have with the extra day, made this start," Valentine said at the time. "It would have been a situation we would have had to watch carefully, so there's no need."..."Again," Valentine said, "I didn't think he was injured. You know, he was skipped."

Umm, no Bobby, that's a lie, know how I know this? Because just last week you said the EXACT OPPOSITE.

The thing is, Beckett had been dealing with the stiffness even before his 126-pitch outing last Sunday against the White Sox, and manager Bobby Valentine knew nothing of it. That fact disappointed the first year Red Sox manager, Valentine told reporters.“We have a system set up to have information flow. It just seemed like there was a little snag there,” Valentine said. “It’s not up to him to come into the manager’s office, but you talk to the pitching coach all the time and the trainers all the time. That information usually flows up. In retrospect, it would’ve been nice to know that.”

So that's good.  You're just blatantly lying about something you readily admitted just one week ago. 

What a joke, an absolute joke. The team is out of control top to bottom, no one is publicly stepping up and taking responsibility and meanwhile the fans are just being shit on, basically on a nightly basis. Ladies and Gentelmen, Your 2012 Red Sox.

Rihanna Unfollows Chris Brown on Twitter

TMZ - It seems Rihanna has finally had enough of Chris Brown ... the singer has "unfollowed" her ex-boyfriend on Twitter after he released a new diss track that appears to be aimed at her. The song in question is a remix of Kanye's TheraFlu -- in which Brown freestyles the verse, "Don't f*ck with my old bitches ... like a bad fur ... every industry n*gga done had her." He continues, "Trick or treat like a pumpkin ... just to smash her." Hours after Brown released the track last night, Rihanna stopped following Brown on Twitter -- a HUGE move -- and one that's leading many to assume Rihanna believes the verse is about her. A short time later, Brown unfollowed Rihanna. 

Rihanna is the dumbest broad on earth, right? Like this is what it took? Chris Brown rapping about beating your face in to the point where you looked like your average run of the mill hooker? Not him actually beating your face in to the point where you looked like your average run of the mill hooker? Seriously? Seriously?!!

 PS: To the people who make up the Grammy voters/academy...Kudos...Not like you let an unabashed, unapologetic, gigantic asshole perform TWICE on national television, all while honoring him with a couple of awards on the night...You guys gotta be proud this morning. I'm sure those moments will make the highlight real in some montage 10 years from now, right? And he's definitely invited back to perform this little number next year, right? *crickets*

Diving into the Time Magazine Boob Sucking Cover

A few thoughts a day late on what is undoubtedly a banner moment for Time Magazine (I mean, I subscribe to it still, but honestly, when's the last time anyone around your office was walking around talking about something they read in Time? Just doesn't happen anymore, this Baby Sucking Tit Cover is a huge coup for them).

1. Some typical mother in typical mom jeans was 100% not making this cover, lets get that straight right now. The editors knew what they were doing here. This fit, good looking mom walked through the doors talking about how her 3 year old still sucks on her boob and they probably couldn't set up the camera tripod's fast enough.

2. This picture has absolutely nothing do with the article. Nothing. I read the thing front to back. It mentions breast feeding past what you'd consider a normal age once or twice, no more than a paragraph of words spent on it. Anyone at Time says they didn't use this cover to boost sales as a shock factor is flat out lying.

3. This paragraph pretty much sums up the main point of the article (regarding overly attached mothering): "It's called attachment parenting, and its rise over the past two decades has helped redefine the modern relationship between mother and baby. It's not just staunch devotees like Joanne; the prevalence of this philosophy has shifted mainstream American parenting toward a style that's more about parental devotion and sacrifice than about raising self-sufficient kids."...I mean that sums it up. Parents hovering over children's every move, kids growing up not knowing how to change a tire, wash their clothes, pay bills, or churn butter in the old Amish traditional way. 

4. This whole over-parenting discussion got me thinking about this weeks episode of Modern Family where Lily was tethered by a leash to her parents...Let me say this, I'm not for overparenting, that won't be my style, but I'm 100% on board with the leash. Who wants to chase their kids around all day? What's with all the dirty looks folks? You either tether them to you with your hand, let them run wild like the parents who treat Wal-Mart and Target as their day care, or you can give them some freedom without them running wild and annoying the fuck out of strangers just trying to buy some Old Spice Swagger Deodorant and race home in time for American Idol...Put your kids on a leash folks. 

5. There's a portion in this article about how the more time spent with mom, the more well adjsuted the kid turns out...While I'm sure it's true that abandoning  your child isn't a good move, I'd have to think this is all a sliding scale, for instance...

If you're a boy and old enough to remember sucking your mom's boob, you're not going to be well adjusted. You'll probably spend the majority of your 20's collecting girls stray hairs during your classes as a Woman's Studies major and turning them into miniature dolls that you fantasize about. 

6. Another thing - there's another section about "Jungle Babies." Babies in the Amazon and how their mothers carry them in slings, they don't cry as often, and the children are more obedient than us gringos...Someone brilliantly decided that's because their moms are always carrying them every where and attentative to their every need...

I call bullshit...not on all of it, like I said, ignoring your babies needs probably isn't a good thing. But there's external factors going on with these Jungle babies too. For instance, if a mom just left a jungle baby to play on the ground all day, fire ants would attack it.  If a jungle baby spent all day crying, it's likely that leopard would hunt it down and eat it. If children in the Amazon disobey their parents when Mom and Dad say something ridiculous like "if you don't do as we say, you'll get eaten by a gigantic snake," that kid will probably get eaten by a gigantic snake. It's the Amazon. These things presumably happen. 

That's it, that's all I got. The hooplah over the cover is a bit much for my taste. Time's just trying to sell some magazines, that's all there is to it. The mom's certainly not helping her kid out as far as his chances go for being a well adjusted adult, that's for sure. Whether the whole breast feeding until you're basically an adult thing works or not, its never a good scene to have kids in your school plaster pictures of you chowing down on mom's boob all over the place. So hey, good luck kid.

KG Destroys the Hawks, Kicks The Owners Dick In During Presser

In the words of Marc Jackson: "Mama, There Goes That Man."

Honestly, I never knew quite what the hell Marc was talking about when he said that, until last night, because after KG's ridiculous (nay, RIDICULOUS) performance, and then just absolutely eviscerating the Hawks owner,  well there's really not much else that can describe it.

Remember that old knock on KG, back when he came over from Minny? That he couldn't be the man when the team needed a win, he was too deferential, and a slew of other cliches? While I'm pretty sure those were dismissed a few years go, just in case there was any lingering doubt, KG just went out there and put up on a vintage performance. Actually, vintage doesn't really do it justice, it implies that he's had games of that magnitude before, and I don't think that's the case. 28 Points, 14 Rebs, 5 Blocks!, 3 Steals...just an all around masterpiece, all in a close out game.  

 I'm not saying through out his career he hasn't had games like that, hell he had seasons where he averaged close to those numbers, but to throw that out there in a close out game, where you're getting nothing from Ray Allen, where Paul Pierce is valiantly battling but clearly doesn't have it, where the team absolutely crumbled whenever you left the floor...That's special. Even with a championship in the bag and the fact that this was just a first round game, that's still special. 

And another thing, we're all wondering about what will happen with Ray and KG next year, and who really knows what will end up happening. But I'll tell you this, KG's old man game won't quit. He's got skills on top of skills, as they say. That shake and bake turn around? I'm pretty sure he'll be able to get that shot off until the day he dies. That 18 footer? Butter. Those occasional glimpses of his young kid hops, when he skies for a lob or comes out of no where for a block? Still there despite several knee issues. And that sheer tenacity on defense...not his usual spectacular defense, but those minutes at a time where he really digs in and decides he's going to defend whoever has the ball, regardless of position...Body'ing centers, bullying undersized forwards, limbs dangling and draping all over point guards, those are some of my favorite moments to watch. I don't think its a ridiculous argument to say KG is the defender of his generation, and even if his game slips a little in the next couple years, he'll still be at an elite level compared to most NBA big men. 

What I'm saying is, I'd probably pay him. A couple years, convince him to go a little short on the money and retire a Celtic, they'll need to retool, but if he takes a discount they'll have the cash to do it and the roster to take a couple more runs. 

But for now, lets enjoy this one...Bring on the Sixers.