Argument Over Reclining Seats on Airplane Leads to Airforce Scrambling F-16 Fighter Jets

WASHINGTON -- An international flight was escorted back to Washington, D.C., by U.S. Air Force F-16 fighter jets after an argument between two passengers over a reclining seat erupted into a brawl, The Washington Post reported late Tuesday.  According to sources, not long after the Ghana-bound United Airlines Boeing 767 -- with 144 passengers on board -- took off from Dulles International Airport at 10:44 p.m. local time Sunday, one passenger reclined his seat into the lap of the person behind. A fight broke out -- with one passenger striking the other in the head -- before a flight attendant and fellow passenger intervened. A United spokesman told the Post that the pilot was unsure of the extent of the in-flight incident and decided, for safety's sake, to go back to Dulles. As the plane returned, an air traffic controller asked about the passenger at the center of the disturbance, with pilots replying, "The passenger is not secured at this time; the passenger has settled down, though, but an assault has taken place, but at this time he is not secured."

Think the US military might be a bit on edge? Easy guys, I know you're itching for action, predator drones and robots taking up all the glory overseas, but maybe you wanna relax a bit, take a xanex and real it in for a while?

It was an argument over someone reclining their seat, of course it led to a fight.  I get in like 3 fights per flight over seating positions, never thought it would lead to a Def-Con 5 status alert like a scene straight out of Con-Air.

Three fights you ask? Yes three. One with the jerkoff in front of me who decides he's going to recline 3.5 seconds after boarding, didn't even have time to stow my shit under the seat in front of me. Another fight with the inconsidered prick behind me who has the nerve to mutter under his breath after I recline, like "hey buddy, this asshole in front of me is reclining, I gotta recoup my personal space some how." And third, the endless battle for elbow room...you didn't think of that one did you?

Everyone always thinks of the reclining seats battle, but really that shit is the minor leagues, either someone reclines their seat or they don't, there's really no give and take.  The real battleground lies on the armrests, where battles are one and lost over as simple an action as a common bodily function like a sneeze or cough...go to cover your mouth and your upper hand is gone.  That's why I never cover up on a plane for the first sneeze.  I like to set precedent right then and there that I'm going to do everything it takes to maintain control of this armrest.  Even give a little bit of crazy eyes after the sneeze, "like yea I just shot snot all over the cabin, and I'm willing to do it again in order to protect this house."  I play for keeps when flying.

If You Hunted Osama, Would You Brag to the Press About It? I'd Keep that Shit a Secret

WASHINGTON - On the clear September morning when the planes hit the Twin Towers in New York City, Edina native Mike Hurley was working a desk job in the basement of the CIA headquarters in Langley, Va., one of the potential targets of the attacks. Almost immediately, he decided to join the hunt for Osama bin Laden and volunteered for Afghanistan. Within months, Hurley found himself in a remote tribal area packing body armor, an M-4 rifle and an Edina High School cap. Outside Gardez, near the border with Pakistan, he was one of 25 Americans representing special forces and the CIA in a ceremony burying part of the steel wreckage. The hunt for Bin Laden was on. Hurley would do three classified deployments to Afghanistan and serve as a senior staffer on the commission that studied the terrorist attacks.

Mike Hurley has to be the most scared guy in America, right? Like, what the hell was he thinking here, releasing his name...why not just throw out your cellphone number and twitter handle too, bro?  No way in hell I'd be running around bragging about this. Yea its cool as shit and I'd be itching to tell people, but the fear of having my capa-detated is just too much.

In all seriousness though, it was probably a tough decision for him.  The whole thing is one big catch 22, damned if he did, a loser if he didn't.  Yea now he's got to worry about every Tom, Dick, and Mohammed waging jihad on his house or SUV, but on the other hand if he'd just kept quiet he'd have never been able to cash in on the fame that comes with hunting Osama. All his family members, friends and neighbors would still just assume that Mike went about his days reporting to whatever boring ass cover job the CIA gave him, just thinking he was a standard 9-5er. That would suck.  The guy probably slaves away 16 hours a day in some Pentagaon basement room, only coming up for fresh air and to scarf down some Buffalo Wild Wings.  There's only so many stories this guys got, so ultimately no, I can't blame him for spilling his guts on this one.

North Korea and China Lead the World in Happiness...USA? Dead Last

Free Bath Houses. They seem pretty happy to me.

Yahoo - According to a global happiness index released in North Korea, the country and its allies are the most cheerful countries in the world. Naturally, the "American Empire" strikes Pyongyang as just plain sad. Shanghaiist reports that North Korea's Chosun Central Television recently came out with a happiness index compiled by local researchers. Their findings? China is the happiest place on the planet, earning 100 points (a perfect score!). At number two is none other than North Korea itself. Cuba, Iran and Venezuela (in that order) round out the top five.  The United States places dead last, coming in 203rd. South Korea is nearly just as depressed a nation; it ranks 152^nd on the list. Some spots, North Korea's research indicates, are just nowhere near as smiley as the Axis of Evil. The Chinese net is ablaze with the results, screen grabs of which have been posted to popular sites. Implored one commenter on the Chinese online forum Mop: "Please send me to the U.S. so I can suffer, too."

Honestly, I'll buy it. Doesn't seem that far fetched to me, and if this blog results in me sounding like a communist, well then make of it what you will.

I spend a good 90% of my time wondering how I'll go about paying for the rest of my life.  I'm only 26, I have a good job, I'm not just skimping by, but I'm constantly nervous as fuck.  Thinking of ways to scheme my way through the next 50-65 years.  I mean, cars, rent, weddings, houses, potential kids, paying for potential kids shit, potential kids tuition, yachts, vacation homes, ski chalets, lawyers on retainer, and web domain fees. None of that shit is free. 

In North Korea? Not an issue.  I'm not not 100% sure how communism works, but I'm pretty sure everyone just lives in identical huts or houses, with identical goods and luxuries, and all the free HBO you can dream of (basically I envision living in a communist country like living in a Motel 6).  

Plus, if your government has been using propaganda your whole life, its not like you know any better anyway. That tin can of dog food that you and me find disgusting, but they eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays? That's probably like Prince Spaghetti night to them. Forced labor in the factory down town for little money and long hours? Job stability. Get thrown in jail for no real reason? Free vacation. Car payments? Nope you drive a rickshaw. College tuition too costly? Who needs education when ignorance is bliss.

Doesn't seem so bad, right?

High School Year Book Depicts Cheerleaders Showing Legs is Banned...Umm How is this Different than a Normal Day?

Fox News - School officials at a California high school are pressuring the yearbook editor to reprint a page that describes the cheerleading squad as showing "more leg than Daisy Duke" and includes digitally edited images of the girls' legs, News 10 reports. Members of the cheerleading team at River City High School reportedly were outraged after reading an article titled "Who Wears Short Shorts" in the school's new yearbook -- 400 copies of which were picked up by students on Friday.  The article described the cheerleaders as "dolled up in micromini(sic) uniforms" while "strolling down halls" with "blatant disregard" for the "school dress code," according to the station. It also reportedly showed pictures of the cheerleaders' skirts while they were doing a jump exercise. Now school officials are suspending pickups of the yearbook until its student editor rewrites a replacement page.

Frigen cheerleaders, always looking to have their cake and eat it too (I still don't know how to use that expression properly, so excuse me if it's wrong). And they always get away with it, until now that is.

Talk about your all time backfires.  The cheerleaders were clearly just pretending to be appalled and making a fuss to save face.  Obviously no 16-18 year old girl is going to verbally celebrate the fact that they dress like hussies and teases on a regular basis, all in the name of school spirit, but at the same time they absolutely love the attention they receive. 

Well not this time ladies.  You apparently pushed too hard, over sold your whole act and now your world is in ruins.  And you know who this is really going to hurt?  The 2 or 3 girls who end up doing nothing with their life after this, 4 kids, a decade on the food stamp and beer diet.  They would have been able to show that yearbook as the prized centerpiece of their trailers fire place mantle.  Now? Nothing.  Just shattered dreams of future trailer park queens.

Anthony Weiners Twitter Dick Defense is Shades of Clinton-Lewinsky...and that's a Compliment.

Fox News - Rep. Anthony Weiner, in an interview with Fox News, said Wednesday he's certain he did not send a lewd photo of somebody's bulging underwear to a college student via Twitter. But the congressman repeatedly declined to say whether the picture was an image of him.  He said he's asked an Internet security firm and a law firm to take a "hard look" at the incident and find out what happened, though he suggested he doesn't want to make a federal case out of it. Asked point-blank, "Is that picture you?" Weiner replied, "You know I'm not going to talk about this anymore."The photo in question showed a close-up shot of a man's bulging underwear. It was deleted within minutes of being sent.  Breitbart's BigGovernment.com first reported that it was tweeted to a Seattle woman, later identified as Gennette Cordova.

Like your style here, Representative Weiner.  Canadians have been hogging way too many of the lewd politician stories lately, it's about time a good red blooded American through their bulge into the ring.

And I like how he's going about his business here, shades of Clinton lying his way through congress and reporters alike about banging his secretary, smirking the whole time.

Guy is playing the media like a fiddle with this "I'm certain I'm not the one that sent the photo, but I'm not gonna say its not my dick" routine.  He's damn proud of his work, and there's really nothing anyone can do about it, its the perfect crime.  Athletes may have invented the "my account got hacked" excuse but this politician just perfected it.  If you can't prove he sent it then the cocky (pun intended) smarmy politician is suddenly the victim here.  Guy gets to Twitter his dick to the world and cry foul to the media.  Classic win-win situation. 

PS: God is totally messing with us on this one...a politician named Weiner involved in a dick shot scandal?   A+ work big guy, A+.

I Take Issue With Massachusetts Stereotype in 50 State Stereotype Video Guy

What the fuck guy, what gives.  We don't deserve better than that? Annoying Pat's fans? Do you even know Massachusetts at all.  Could have at least picked the Redsox, who the hell goes abroad and brags about the Pats? Your average Pats fan is depressed as hell over the endings of the last two seasons and ashamed of bringing them up because of Tom Brady's hair.

I mean come on, we're the state of massholes, terrible drivers, purportedly high taxes (despite the fact that we're really right in the meaty middle part of the curve), rotary's, our Boston inferiority complex (where we pretend Boston is as important and great as other larger and better cities), Goodwill Hunting quotes, Ben Affleck, gay marriage, the miserable failure of the big dig, Deval Patrick, and the never ending search for what to do with the Rose Kennedy Greenway.

Come on guy, at least give us some credit.