Inflating a Tire, Redneck Style (vid)

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NASCAR knows about this hill-billy and his Fire-Tire magic right?  The guy could revolutionize pit row all with the flick of a lighter. 

I'm seriously going to just hand it to the old redneck here, guy walked into a situation, fixed it and walked out. Didn't stick around for his congrats, just disappeared back into the crowd as mysteriously as he arrived.

PS: There were like 30 people standing around there, none of them knew how to change a tire the conventional way before MacGyver the Tire Changer showed up?  How can you go mudding in the woods and not know how to change a flat?  And how did they all get there? Are there more vehicles out of sight or is this some version of a Hick Amusement Ride, take your friends pickup off-roading and have the entire village crowd into the truck bed for a wild ride.

Survey Finds Half Of All Employees Think about Quitting

AOL - On the heels of Employee Appreciation Day on March 4, new research shows that many employees have more than a few complaints about their jobs. According to a survey from MarketTools, a leading feedback-management and market-research firm, most employees don't feel very appreciated. In fact, nearly 50 percent have thought about quitting and 21 percent have applied for another job in the past six months. To no one's surprise, the top reason employees are unhappy is that they're not making enough money -- 47 percent are unhappy with their salaries, according to the survey. Other leading causes of dissatisfaction:

• Workload (24 percent)
• Lack of opportunities for advancement (21 percent)
• Employee's manager or supervisor (21 percent)

Business owners may not even know their staffs are unhappy -- 72 percent of the businesses surveyed don't formally seek employee feedback (or the staff is unaware that a formal program exists).


Just to be clear here, they only surveyed half the employees, right? It's not that the other 50% haven't thought about quitting, its just that you didn't get around to asking them? Because 50% seems low, I don't care who the employer.  Up until yesterday I would have thought NASA was a dream job for everyone that works there, then I find out Astronauts are snorting lines of coke just to make it through the day.  These guys literally get to walk in space, you'd think that would be enough to get anyone jacked up for their day, I guess not. 

But here's the real question in all this, and I'm sure coke fiends are waiting for this answer as well, do they take the coke to space with them?  How does that work? Wouldn't you just have coke dust floating around breaking all the electrical instruments?  Or, and here's the really important part of the question, has NASA invented Space Coke? Some kind of gravity free cocaine miracle that they're going to make a fortune off selling on the streets.

Update On Father Suing School over Fat White Kids Making Basketball Over His Kids

Apparently this father (William Blasi) is crazier than we could have imagined.  Not only did he go out of his way to comment on the blog yesterday (quoted below), but he fed me more material while doing so.  Apparently this guy has been posting videos of the "entitled fat white stars" to youtube so that everyone can see a bunch of 7th and 8th grader play basketball while captioning the videos with rascist rants.
Here's his comment:

You are too funny. Want to see embarassing and not funny. Want to see just how bad the obese and weak whites were. Go to youtube and check out posts by wmblasi. I'm the dad. My older boy in 9th grade isn't Yao's height, but if he reaches over 6'2" like I was, which he will, he should be dunking by his senior year. Being our last 6'7" white player couldn't, its likely he will hold the dunking record for a decade or so.

So you were 6'2 and couldn't dunk? You really must have been a fat turd yourself back then.  And what are these dunk records you speak of?  I'm not sure if you're familiar with the basic premise and scoring of basketball, but I'm pretty sure high schools don't track "dunk records."


  I went to youtube, I saw the videos, if your sons couldn't get on the court over those players, they're probably just not all that good.  Maybe join a church league or take up a new, less complicated sport like badmitton or cross country, basketball probably isn't going to work out.


And have you stopped to really think about your sons for two seconds? Do you think they want to be the kids at school with the racist father who taunts other little white kids on youtube? I'm sure that must be great, walking into school for first period and hearing "Hey there's the son of the town nut bag."  What the fuck is wrong with you, real tough guy, picking on little kids, even I wouldn't go that far.  You're borderline a homicidial maniac aren't you?  You're embarrasing no one but yourself and your children Bill, give it up already and act like a decent adult.  You want your kids to make the team go outside with them and practice jump shots, leave the filming of little kids and broadcasting them to the internet for pedophiles.

Rock Chalk?

I haven’t filled out a bracket yet. I know most of you haven’t either because you’ve all been waiting to see what the Maestro thinks. I’ve just been taking all of the info in, and will spend most of my work day today filling them out. Now everyone spends time talking about the sexy upset picks like Belmont (hmmm, where have I heard that before?) and the tough 8/9 matchups like Old Dominion/Butler, but lets be honest, a 1 or a 2 seed is going to take this thing down…and whether I like it or not (I don’t), picking the champ or finalists is usually what decides most pools. Sure all four #1 seeds probably aren’t going to make the Final Four, but I don’t see the harm in picking a lot of chalk to go deep. Anyways, those are my general thoughts on brackets, so here’s a region by region breakdown:

East: Ohio State is the tournament’s overall #1 seed, so naturally they get stuck with the toughest region…wait, what? Yep, that’s the way the committee operated. There are a lot of dangerous teams here, including in the 8/9 matchup, which I think George Mason will prevail in. Kentucky is also dangerous, obviously, and Washington may be peaking at the right time. In my pre-preview I had labeled Syracuse as a team not to trust, and of course that backfired on me, which is the danger of writing a pre-preview. They were placed in a bracket with some young teams who aren’t familiar with their zone and don’t have great outside shooters…plus, the Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games will be played in their backyard in Newark. Fortunately, Ohio State has arguably the best 3 Point shooter in the country in Jon Diebler, so if these two matchup, I like the Buckeyes’ chances against the zone. Pick: tOSU. Sleeper: Washington Bust: North Carolina

West: The big question in the West is obviously the health of Kyrie Irving for Duke. Irving is arguably the best player in the country, but he has only played in 8 games this year due to a Fred Taylor-like toe. I like Duke but was all set to have them go down to Texas or Arizona (or even Tennessee) based on matchups, but Irving gives me pause there. I was all set to pick against UConn, but I don’t see Missouri getting their act together in time to knock them off. San Diego State is being overlooked, in my opinion, and I think they could end up as the only 2 seed in the Elite 8 and a definite Final Four threat. Lets remember that just a couple weeks ago Texas was being talked about as the #1 overall seed for the tournament, and I think they can regain that form to advance to Houston (hey, gotta pick against one of the 1 seeds, right). Pick: Texas Sleeper: Arizona Bust: UConn

Southwest: Kind of an interesting region here. I think Kansas is the best team, but Purdue, Louisville, Georgetown, and Notre Dame are all lurking. It’s no secret that Georgetown has struggled as of late, but PG Chris Wright will be back for the tournament and the Hoyas could be a dangerous 6 seed. Notre Dame can shoot the lights out, but if their shots aren’t falling, it’ll be tough against bigtime competition. Richmond is a sneaky veteran-laden team, which could give Vanderbilt some trouble in the first round, after Vandy has gone down to mid-majors over the past few years. When its all said and done, I think Kansas’ talent carries them through to Houston. Pick: Kansas Sleeper: Georgetown Bust: Louisville

Southeast: This region is a disaster. I’m not exaggerating when I say I don’t see much of a difference between the 2 and 13 seeds, and this is going to wreak havoc on people’s brackets. I think Pitt is the class of the region, but I could see any of the 4-13 seeds knocking them off before the Elite 8. Belmont and Utah State are 2 juicy mid-majors and could be headed towards a 12/13 second round matchup. At the same time, Kansas State and Wisconsin aren’t exactly weak…however, one will be going down. I love Gonzaga over St. John’s playing in Denver while St. John’s adjusts to losing DJ Kennedy to a torn ACL. Florida is obviously overseeded as a 2, but they get to play their first 2 games in Tampa. See what I mean? Really anything can happen here. Pick: Pitt (aim small, miss small) Sleeper: Belmont (duh), Utah State, Gonzaga…pick one. Bust: BYU, Wisky, K-State, St. John’s…pick one (or three).

Champ: Jayhawks over Buckeyes. Real original, I know. Fine, pick UConn or UNC…let me know how that works out for you.

Guy Attempts to Pay Off Credit Card Debt with Pennies

My Daily - Can you really pay off your credit card using nothing but pennies? 'Morning Express' host Robin Meade chronicles the story of a California man whose offer to pay a $6,500 credit card debt in pennies was initially refused. Footage shows the man unloading crates filled with 650,000 rolled pennies from a truck as he explains, "My credit card is due today and I have all my pennies in the truck... Money is money isn't it?" After the bank wouldn't accept the pennies the first time, he rolled them and brought them back. "So, does my pennies stink?" he asks. Chuckling at the apparent prankster, Meade reports, "Chase Bank told our affiliate that it had nothing to do with any odor, the bank just didn't have the storage space. So the man was sent to another bank that had a larger vault."

No, dickhead, money is not money.  Those pennies are frigen useless, going to cost the bank more to convert them to actual cash that normal, non smug assholes, carry around.  The bank should have just flat out denied you.  

I'm so sick of these clowns popping up every few months trying to pay things off in ridiculous denominations (most recently that idiot kid that tried to pay his tuition in $1 bills). It's not original, it may be the easiest way into the news, but it's not original and I hope deep inside, your soul is dying just a little bit knowing that.

Actually you know what, I'd accept the payment, but I'd make that guy sit there as I verify that the cash is all there.  You want to pay like a dickhead and make more work for everyone fine, but you're going to sit here while we do it, just like we would verify the amount if you brought in a stack of $100's.   The thing these assholes never think about is you're not hurting the big bad bank institution or whoever the hell you're paying. You're screwing the barely over minimum wage teller who's now not going home at closing for dinner because she's stuck counting 650,000 fucking pennies because some douche bag had an ego so big that he felt like paying his credit card should be a newsworthy event.

Dude Drops A Tire on His Friends Nuts, 25 feet Below

25 Foot Tire Drop Nutshot - Watch more Funny Videos



Redneck Vasectomies.  Gotta love the ingenuity showed here.  Frustrated after knocking his girlfriend up time after time, but too dumb to use protection or realize that there are medical procedures to fix the issue, he turned to the oldest hillbilly method in the book.  The old drop a tire 25 feet to baby makers and scream like a little bitch.

Are We Sure Moammar Gadhafi/Gaddafi/Kadhafi/Qadaffi Is A Real Person?

 

Look at that picture, that's a real person? Come on, looks like someone stretched a Michael Meyers mask from Halloween over someone's faces.  I'm beginning to think we should be calling bull shit on Moammar Howeverhespellshislastname being a real living human being.  

Charlie Brown characters look more life like than this guy does.  And it's not like I just picked one terrible photo, this thing is either the least photogenic human of all time or Libya is playing a huge spoof on the rest of the world Weekend at Bernies Style.  Just dragging out the dead body of their old leader and using him puppet style.

Whenever Moammar was actually alive I'm sure he had to have been the most ruthless and vial person in history.  I'm sure of this because no one with a face like that has ever won over the masses in a popularity contest.  That's the face of someone who would have had to kill his way to the top.  Who would vote for a guy that has two black holes for eyes and looks like he just penciled in his facial hair 10 minutes before making an appearance? You're appearances are appalling bro, clean it up.