Father Arrested for Teaching Son to Drive...His 8 Year Old Son, While Passed out Drunk in the Passenger Seat

LIVINGSTON PARISH, La. — A Missississippi man let his 8-year-old son drive on Interstate 12 while he slept, Louisiana State Police reported Saturday. State police said they received a call shortly after 6:30 a.m. Saturday about a green Chevrolet pickup truck driving erratically on the interstate in Livingston Parish. The caller told police that a child appeared to be the driver of the pickup. Troopers stopped the vehicle, and they said a boy was driving the truck while his father, Billy Joe Madden, 28, of Hattiesburg, Miss., slept in the passenger seat. Police said that Madden's 4-year-old daughter was riding in the backseat.

Everyone relax, it's not like he did something irresponsible and let the girl drive, he had shit under control...

It’s called teaching your son responsibility. Everyone laments the fact that fathers don’t spend enough quality time with their sons these days, and then when one does they’re all over him like he’s a villain. What is more quality time than teaching your kid to drive? Sure most learn when they’re 15-16, but we don’t know the cirucmstances behind this kid, maybe he’s got exceptional motor skills? Probably knew how to color between the lines before he even got to kindergarten, just walked in the first day and blew his classmates minds…little kindergarten girls hanging on his every stroke of the crayon. Teaching him to drive at 8 makes perfect sense if that’s the case.

Plus, I learned young and I turned out fine. My grandfather had me out in the driveway toggling between Drive and Reverse when I was like 3 or 4, just out of huggies parking cars like a boss. No one called the cops on us, a kid learning how to drive, nothing to see here.

If There's One Disease I don't Want to Get Based on Name Alone, It's The Gout

Even the Gout commercials are funny

(BOSTON) -- Gout, a type of inflammatory arthritis that is caused by the formation of uric acid crystals in the joints, causing pain and swelling, appears to be on the rise, according to a new study published Thursday in Arthritis & Rheumatism. By comparing data from two national surveys -- one from 1988-1994 and the other from 2007-2008, researchers at Boston University School of Medicine found that about 4 percent of the U.S. population, or some 8.3 million adults, now suffer from gout, with the condition being more common in men than in women. This latest rate is a 1.2 percent increase from 20 years ago. The authors of the study also found that this rise in gout rates is linked to the rise in obesity and hypertension among U.S. adults, and so they conclude that “improvements in managing modifiable risk factors, such as obesity and hypertension, could help prevent further escalation of gout...among Americans.”

Ya, I don’t want any diseases or cancers or shit, but I especially don’t want one that caters to juvenile jokes. I'm sure it's a horrible thing to deal with, but I cannot help but chuckle just a little, even if its to myself, whenever I hear someone refer to "The Gout."  I mean come on, it's a funny name. 

It's not my fault, I don't even think I'm being an asshole, I'm pretty sure whoever came up with the name was going for comedy...Use the name as a way to diffuse the usual pity and sad stares people give you when you tell them you have some kind of affliction...Like you're not getting any sympathetic eyes, or get well cards with the Gout..."Guys I have some bad news, I've been diagnosed today...I have the Gout."  The room would be in hysterics, yes they'd feel bad for you, but mostly they'd be laughing and thinking of Gout related jokes...Probably get a gigantic beaker of green fluid on your next birthday so you can be just like my man the Gout tv commercial guy above.

PS: Chrones would be a close second...not because of the name but more because of the implications.

Double PS: WHOA! Do not goole image search gout...you will throw up whatever you just ate guaranteed.

Debt Ceiling Compromise Reached, Government Cube Workers and Staffers Held Hostage During Debate Released

Fox News - President Obama announced Sunday night that leaders of both parties in both chambers have reached an agreement on a debt-reduction deal that will "lift the cloud of uncertainty that hangs over our economy" and prevent the nation from potentially defaulting on the nation's financial obligations.

Thank god. To the relief of hundreds, if not thousands of fellow common people, our long national nighmare is over...I'm of course talking about the poor interns and congressional office staffers who were basically held hostage over this debt ceiling issue. Cube life at its absolute worst, working non-stop through the weekends, developing carpel tunnel typing, and re-typing dozens of drafts of the same 1,000 + page bill, all to come to the conclusion that any sane minded person could have come to last week.

Talk about government waste and inefficiency...you mean to tell me they couldn't have struck that compromise Friday afternoon and let these people go home for the weekend, enjoy a BBQ or two, maybe play a little Polish horseshoes? I mean have you read the details? They agreed to basically: A) Raise the debt ceiling, ending fear of default, and B) Agreed to deal with issues like spending cuts and revenue increases at a later date...So it took them all freaking weekend to agree to procrastinate some more? And then they wanna get up on tv and pat each others backs? An outrage and a travesty for the common cube worker.  And I thought I had it bad eating at my desk every day.

Dozens of Bikes Create Traffic Jam in Boston: Reason 1A Why Normal People Hate Cyclists

Universal Hub - BostonTweet captured a little corking or something this evening at Harvard and Brighton in Allston. Via Allston Rat City, who wonders: Was anyone there at the corner of Comm and Harvard when some dude in a Honda got pissed off at the people on bikes blocking traffic and literally drove through them? UPDATE: JC tweets: Yep, gray Civic plowed right through them. Don't think anyone was seriously hurt.

This is why normal people hate bicyclists, and by association, hipsters.

While everyone’s all outraged about some dude in a Honda plowing through some cyclists pulling a stunt this weekend, I applaud him.  How about instead of the cops wasting their time to chase down one practical minded person in a car they round up some of these assholes, starting with this guy:

I see you bro, and I hate you.

Week 1 of the Hubway's Bike Sharing Program going well...

51 Year Old Husband Ingores 16 Year Old Wife to Watch Movie Trailer on Pay Per Minute Internet Kiosk

Fox News - Former “Lost” actor Doug Hutchinson, 51, recently hit headlines when he married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden, and it looks as though that 35-year age gap may be rearing its head in the relationship. Sources spotted the newlyweds at a Fed Ex store in Hollywood on Tuesday, accompanied by Stodden’s mom, Krista. They appeared to be using the pay-per-minute Internet station. However, Hutchinson had little patience for his young wife’s chatter. “Doug was really, really engrossed watching a movie trailer and he was becoming increasingly irritated when Courtney tried to talk him. He kept shutting her down and at one point said to her, ‘Can you go take a walk or something? I really need to watch this,’” an eyewitness told FOX411’s Pop Tarts. “It really was like an adult reprimanding his child. But Courtney and her mother remained seated and quieted down as Doug leaned in to the computer, ignoring her.”

What the fuck is a pay per minute internet kiosk? Like, is the couple more whacked out than I was giving them credit for?

Bro, you’re a tv actor, you married a 16 year old floozy/freak show aspiring country singer, you telling me you can’t afford at least DSL? Sell your story to a tabloid or something, this is embarrassing as shit. No kidding she wanted to get him away from that thing, prob didn’t want to be known as the wife of guy who’s too cheap to buy a computer and pay for the internet so he plants himself at pay per minute internet stations…its like its 1995 with internet café’s all over again, except even more hobo-ish because they're at Fedex.

I'm Shocked the Internet is still Around after Watching 1995 MTV Doc On the Net

Frankly, I’m shocked the internet made it, I mean congressman had to be scared shitless proposing legislation left and right to ban this, celebrities like Coolio endorising the “information super highway”, mtv docs, these things couldn’t have helped the internet’s credibility during the early days. I’m lucky I have this blog now.

PS: I’d have killed to jumped on the whole internet thing right away, like you hear when they referenced the "legendary" godzilla site? You kidding me? Site is dogshit. Must have been easy when there was like 10 other sites to compete with.

Double PS: The internet has never looked as cool as early movies like hackers, the net, wasteland made it look. Like where is all that virtual reality, and all those 3-d shapes people always seemed to be manipulating on screen. Fuck twitter, that’s what I want.