What Would Really Happen If We Tried to Dig to China?

Long way to go kid.

If I Fell Through the Center of Earth, What Would Happen in the Center - Actually beyond addressing the fact that you'd be weightless, they never really answer the question that I've been pondering for as long as I could ponder: If you're digging a hole to China, would you come up feet first?


I know, this is a strange blog, and a strange thing to be curious about.  Like, obviously this isn't possible, you'd clearly have to pass through Hell, and from what I understand of him, I doubt the Devil would just let you pass through the other side.  So yes, it's an impractical question.  But still, let's put that aside and just ponder because I really want to get to the bottom of this once and for all, or top? I'm not sure.

I've honestly thought about this more times than I care to admit, and I've never been able to wrap my brain around it.  On the one hand you'd obviously think if you start digging your way to China, you're going to end up exiting feet first. Seems logical, but here is the issue.  If you're upside down coming out of the earth feet first, what is stopping  you from falling head first out the gigantic hole you just created? At some point after you pass through the center of the earth gravity has to pull you back the other way.  So what does that mean? Is it truly impossible (again Hell, Fire, Brimstone and the Devil aside)? Is the dream of every 5-10 year old digging in the sandbox just a sham along with the Easter Bunny, Santa, and Elvis? And finally, do Chinese people waste time contemplating ways to dig to New York, or is this exclusively a "white person" time waster?  I'm guessing its just a white person thing, they're probably too busy figuring out ways to get ahead in the world, playing clarinets and buying digital cameras.

By the way, has everyone been spreading the word about The Alt-Tab's hole digging contest?

Blogging is Dead? Seems Like A Good Time To Advertise For Help Wanted

Gigaom - Blogging is on the decline, according to a New York Times story published this weekend — citing research from the Pew Center’s Internet and American Life Project — and it is declining particularly among young people, who are using social networks such as Facebook instead...The NYT story notes that blogging among those aged 12 to 17 fell by half between 2006 and 2009 according to the Pew report, but among 18 to 33-year-olds it only dropped by two percentage points in 2010 from two years earlier — which isn’t exactly a huge decline. And among 34 to 45-year-olds, blogging activity rose by six percentage points. The story also admits that the Blogger platform, which is owned by Google, had fewer unique visitors in the U.S. in December than it had a year earlier (a 2-percent decline), but globally its traffic climbed by 9 percent to 323 million.


So what does this all mean? Pretty simple really, CW won the war.  Word got out once I entered the blogging scene and inferior bloggers have been packing up shop left and right, don't even want to bother competing for hits with The Alt-Tab.


And you know what else this means?  Less competition baby! BAM.  I've been sitting around trying to think of ways to drum up more interest around here the last couple of months and then this story just falls right in my lap.  Turns out I don't have to do squat, here I am busting my ass like 4 hours a day (allright like 3 of those are just me browsing the same sites I'd be browsing anyway, but it feels like work when you know you have to do it), while everyone else is just giving up. 


And as I assume they've factored Pennypacker and The Maestro into those figures, deadbeats.  The Maestro has a valid excuse, gambling columns are a bit easier to write during football season, he's going to contribute here and there for a few random occasions.  Pennypacker on the other hand, came in talking all that smack and then never followed up once.  What a pathetic loser. The mere fact that 50 Cent contributed more financial advice to this blog than he did should put him to shame. Thank god for the TV Doctor I guess.


With that said, I'd like to throw out the opportunity for others that may be intersted in becoming an Alt-Tab contributor.  Serious applicants only, I don't need any Pennypackers promising the world and then coming up with excuse after excuse for not blogging.  It takes like 15 minutes to write a decent blog, anyone interested should be willing to do so at least once a week.  The pay is non-existant, and your boss will be insufferable, but since all the other blogs are apparently shutting their doors, I'm pretty much the only option you got.  Feel free to e-mail me potential ideas you have for yourself or a sample blog you'd like me to run at TheAltTab@Gmail.com.

If A Girl at the Club is Eager for a 1 Night Stand, She's Probably Going to Rob You

AOL - It's becoming a familiar story: Boy meets girl. Boy brings girl home. Boy wakes up feeling dizzy and disoriented. And his apartment has been cleaned out.  At least three young men in Malmo in southern Sweden have reported being drugged and robbed after meeting a comely woman in a nightclub, according to TheLocal.se, a website publishing Swedish news in England..."An attractive girl came over and flirted with me. She was very forward. I just thought to myself that she found me attractive," Tim Ogren, 25, told the show, according to TheLocal.se...He said he brought the woman back to his apartment in an upscale neighborhood. She offered him a drink from a bottle of vodka she had in her purse. He accepted but soon felt ill and then blacked out. When he awoke several hours later, the woman was gone -- and so was his television, computer and other valuables.

So I guess a simple rule of thumb here to remember is that if you're a dude and a chic that appears out of your normal league starts laying it on heavy, she's going to rob you. Don't be fooled into thinking it's your lucky night.  Hot chics at bars fight off countless bro's who want nothing better than to rub their junk on the girls bum and buy her a drink.  If she's approaching you, she's got an ulteriour motive. From there you have to make the decision, do the valuables in my apartment outweight this smoking hot chic? 

If you have insurance the answer is quick and easy. Yes, yes going home with that smoking hot chic outweighs the valueables in  your apartment.  While you might not have a tv or computer for a couple weeks while you wait for the insurance check, you'll still be able to bask in the glow of "scoring up" to your friends.

Without insurance it becomes a little more difficult, several factors have to come into play.  How old is your stuff? If you were looking to upgrade soon this may be a way to slay two birds with one stone.  How long has it been? The longer its been the more acceptable letting yourself get robbed becomes.  Have you been on a string of fatties and uggo's? If the answer is yes then you definitely need to go through with this, if only to bring your cred back up with your circle of friends. No one wants to be known as the guy with the lowest standards.  Lower standards may equal a higher batting average, but really the psychological toll will catch up with you.

No matter what you decide, always remember to seal the deal before you let her drug you.  Make her work for your Ipad. Don't be a schmuck like poor Tim Ogren above, the guy definitely got liquored up and blacked out before the transaction was consumated.  That's the lose-lose situation that everyone should be striving to avoid. 

"I Won't Pay Movement" in Greece is a Genius Idea

ATHENS, Greece — They blockade highway toll booths to give drivers free passage. They cover subway ticket machines with plastic bags so commuters can't pay. Even doctors are joining in, preventing patients from paying fees at state hospitals. Some call it civil disobedience. Others a freeloading spirit. Either way, Greece's "I Won't Pay" movement has sparked heated debate in a nation reeling from a debt crisis that's forced the government to take drastic austerity measures — including higher taxes, wage and pension cuts, and price spikes in public services.

Say no more, I'm on board.  Who are we to argue with the Greeks on this one?  These are the people that founded political thought and philosophy, I'm fairly certain they're operating on a higher plane of existance than the rest of us. Playing chess while we're all playing checkers. Think about it, in other civilized countries people bitch and moan about taxes and fees but ultimately, except for a few law breakers, everyone ends up paying them.  Not in Greece. These guys form entire movements with awesome names dedicated to stiffing the man.  And it aint just your average crumb-bum scrub either, they've even got Doctors joining the fray so their patients don't have to pay the $5 co-pay. 

I wish some group of radical protesters would have had my back when I staged this movement myself a couple of weeks ago out on the Mass Turnpike.  CW inadvertently ended up in the Fastpass lane (whatever the hell its called) only to realize it too late to move over.  From there I just did what any sane person would do, gunned it as fast as I could, hoped the camera wouldn't catch my plate, and let out a string of profanities so vulgar that even the ragiest of road-ragers would have applauded.  

The camera caught my plate though. So now, instead of paying $1.25 to use a public road I'm paying a $50 for a simple mistake. Seems fair right? Never mind the fact that if I stayed on the pike until the absolute last exit my toll would have only been $7 or so.  But it's all good, I'll just pay my outrageous $50 ticket so Toll-Booth Willy, who's job requires less skill than the cashier position at Walgreens, can keep banking $18 an hour.  Gotta love turnpike corruption.

Minor League Hockey Coach Strips on Bench In Protest

The Puck Doctors  - An assistant coach for the CHL Colorado Eagles decided to protest a bad call by the ref by doing the most logical thing anyone could think of, stripping and tossing the articles of clothing onto the ice.

Hey Guy, if you're going to do it,  do it.  At least have the courage to follow through with what you started and give all these PuckSluts the show they came for.  Drop Trow or don't strip at all.

By the way, this is why I consider hockey a fringe sport at best.  This is the kinda shit you only see in fledgling sports, sideshows to keep the fans attention and keep their minds from wandering and realizing that the sport they're watching is just one big jumbled mess.

And spare me the minor league baseball comparisons.  At least when something funny happens in those games it ends up on Sportscenter.  This guy stripped and walked the backboard of the bench and the only place I've seen it is on some guys hockey blog. 

Chubby Asian Kid Lip Synching Puts Keenan Cahill To Shame (VID inside)

Chubby Asian Kid's Awesome Lipdub - Watch more Funny Videos

Boom, eat that Keenan Cahill.  Anyone can bob their head and pretend to know the lyrics to a few english songs, and get by on their devilish good looks, dredging up a few million hits with celebrity background appearances mixed in.

This kids got you beat for days.  Bare chested, full bodied dance moves, while lip synching some gibberish foreign song to the T? That takes real talent.  And the kid broke a viral hit without having to drop David Guetta or 50 Cent in the background of his video. 

As best I can tell that's just his little brother eating his lunch back there, initially uninterested as shit just enjoying his Chinese Bok Choi, until about the halfway point when he catches the spirit and becomes a side show of his own.  Mark my words, these kids will own the Web Cam Lip Synch industry within a month.

PS: Is that wicker thing off the left of the screen a human birds nest?