This Weeks Overheard at the Office

Yesterday I over heard a middle aged man in my office discussing these "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" books (apparently its a whole series).  I didn't overreact when I saw girls everywhere (beach, cafeteria, subway, etc...) reading these oddly titled books this summer, or when Amazon.com had these as their top recommendations for like 45 straight days, or when I saw questionable looking guys walking around carrying this book in the North End.   But I'm drawing the line at middle age, 40-something old men in my office reading these books.  And this guy wonders why he's still single with no prospects (I overhear quite a few of his conversations).

He not only proceeded to gush about reading the whole set of books in the span of two weeks, but he decided to snob it up and discuss the Swedish film based on the book, talking up its artsy and emotional feel.  During this douchey lecture on foreign films he lamented that the American version (coming soon I guess?) would probably be too dumbed down to capture the same emotions...

Newsflash jackass, it'll be dumbed down and easier to understand because it will be in English.  You won't have to speak Swedish or read subtitles while you're trying to watch the movie.  And I wouldn't worry about it needing to be dumbed down too much  Any book that caught on and was a pop culture hit with high school-mid 20's aged girls I'll just assume can't too hard to follow.  Certainly no Chicken Soup for the Soul or Traveling Pants anyway (sarcasm).

Guest Blog: The Doctor Is In

Hey All- Today's guest blog is from a self-described television guru.  Feel free to comment if you like the blog as I could make his column a running feature.

I see it everyday. People running into my office yelling, “Dr., I am so bored at night when I get home from work. I just sit there flipping through channels and usually wind up on some movie I’ve seen 20 times or meaningless sports contest with two teams I don’t even root for. What should I do?” I have been helping people out for the nearly 25 years I’ve had my practice and I’ve decided to take my talents to The Alt Tab in order to help a larger audience. Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you looking for quality TV, the doctor is in.

Prescription #1: This Sunday AMC will premiere its new original program “The Walking Dead” at 10pm. The show is about a local sheriff who wakes up in an abandoned hospital and finds the apocalypse has happened. He sets out to search for his family and is forced to battle the growing army of zombies who now walk the earth. The tie ins with it premiering on Halloween are obvious, but I see a lot more long term potential for this show than just a few scares on October 31^st. The pilot was written and directed by Frank Darabont who wrote and directed “The Shawshank Redemption”. This should be exciting news for most people as I have met more people who hate puppies than who hate “Shawshank” (I also prescribe doing this if you have the resources). Now for those who need to convince a girlfriend or Mrs. before you can add this to the DVR, I have you covered. Tell them the plot is basically just a man searching for his missing wife and son, and that man is played by the guy from “Love Actually” who made the posters for Keira Knightley. Trust me; they’ll know what you’re talking about.

Prescription #2: Have you ever heard the Chris Rock bit about how no one’s ever met two American Indians at the same time? Well that’s how I feel about viewers of “The Big Bang Theory”, except I’ve never even met one of those. The real shame is how much better “Bang” does in the ratings than its competitor in the 8pm time slot on NBC, “Community”. This comedy is probably the best show you’re not watching and if you like laughing, references to 80’s action movies and pop culture or the naked Chinese guy from “The Hangover” then it’s time you tuned in. Also, it stars Joel McHale, or as he’s more commonly known, the guy from “The Soup” and Chevy Chase. The show gets some of the better guest stars on TV as Jack Black, Katherine McPhee, John Michael Higgins (the singing sprite from The Breakup) and Betty White have all appeared. My suggestion would be switching over from “Bang” (or stop watching that show completely, you’re better than that) and try “Community” for a couple weeks. At the very least try to find some way to watch the “Modern Warfare” episode of “Community” and call me in the morning if you don’t completely love it, because you might be stupid.

Prescription #3: If you were one of the many who grew tired with “30 Rock” after last year’s uneven season, I’m suggesting you return to Liz Lemon’s world. Besides the live episode, which I felt was more to prove the ability to achieve such a high degree of difficulty rather than making a funny episode, this season is back to where the show used to be. If you develop stomach pain from laughing too hard then I would suggest seeing a real physician. I mean haven’t you noticed I’m only discussing television and have no real medical credentials?

Prescription #4: I think most TV fans have shows they missed from the beginning and got too far behind to catch up on. However, they still would like to see it and are relegated to catching up on DVD. Even I, the TV specialist, can’t watch everything and have “The Shield” and “Breaking Bad” at the top of my list to view on DVD. This week a show I would prescribe to all of you premiered on Direct TV, “Friday Night Lights”. I am not telling anyone to start watching this season, you deserve better and frankly so does the show. Instead, make this the top show on your list to catch up on with the DVDs. Now I know these can be expensive and not everyone makes the salary of a doctor like me, but “FNL” seasons are fairly cheap on Amazon. This show was/is fantastic and I almost wish I could trade places with all of you and watch it all anew from the beginning. But then again, I could never return to being some kind of TV commoner either. What do you people even talk about? “Two and a Half Men”? Ugh, no thanks.

-Dr. Jack Shephard, TV specialist

Thursday Blues

To me, Thursday has to be the worst day of the week. Don't believe me? Lets break it down.

Yes Monday is bad.  You've got a whole week ahead of you, and compared to the weekend that you're just back from going to work blows.  But at least you had those two days of rest to get back to neutral before Monday.  You've got gas in your tank, and you know that you can procrastinate on any annoying work tasks that may come up because you've got all week at this point.  Any good Alt-Tabber can slack their way all the way through their case of the Mondays.

Tuesday- You've still got some of that energy stored up from the weekend, plus you're well into the work week mindset at this point.  You've got four grueling day left ahead of you but you can pace your expectations accordingly.  No one has ever been fooled into thinking its Friday when they wake up on Tuesday. For better or worse you know what is facing you on Tuesday.

Wednesday- Hump Day! This is sneaky my favorite day of the work week.  For me it brings relief, I know by lunch we're half way done the work week, and by the end of the day my mind is already drifting into weekend mode. This euphoria doesn't last though, it just sets me up for a gigantic downfall on...

Thursday-  I wake up after an optimistic Wednesday, fully looking forward to the weekend (I often wake up on Thursday thinking its Friday), only the realization sets in that I have two days left before I  get there.   My tanks is on empty but I don't have the adrenaline boost I get on Fridays knowing the weekend is right around the corner.  It's straight depressing.  Two days of annoying calls, fluorescent lights, chairs that screw with your spine to the point that you feel like the elephant man, countless excell sheets, corporate pep talks, and dreadful co-workers. 

Given all that its no wonder the expression TGIFriday exists.  The day is great by comparison, never mind the fact that it leads you into a two or sometimes three day break.  Fridays have it it made like the youngest child in a family.  After all the stress and work the others put you through (or the parents through), make you cherish that last day (or child if you're still with me in this diluted analogy) no matter what it brings.  

8 more hours to go until Friday.

PS: I don't care if you thought this blog sucked, Thursdays suck so its only fitting that my blogs suffer accordingly.  Lucky for you we'll have a special guest blogger later today, hopefully to lighten the mood.