The Office Dress Code

Anyone who works in an office setting can relate to the annoying semi-annual company memos on dress codes, for the most part its just the same old common sense message, don't look like a homeless person, slut, beach dude, or hungover drunk. Pretty straight forward, but I'm still always shocked at the diversity of peoples choices in my office.  This may not apply to everyone's work place, I work in a large setting and as a result am exposed to a larger group of workers than most of you, but here is the run down of our business casual choices I see on a consistent basis.

The Fresh Out of College - Couple of different ways this person can go. First, and usually for guys only, you see alot of cargo pant type khakis and questionably acceptable collared shirts.  It takes about 6 months to a year on the job for the average prep/frat type graduate to purge their warddrobe of these fringe acceptable clothing syltes.  The second fresh out of college option is for the guys and girls who are so eager to impress that they hit the job running with an over the top, GQ-esque warddrobe.  This also takes 6 months to a year to disappear, because thats how long it takes grads to realize their entry level salary won't support drinking 3-4x a week and dressing like an Express cover model.  The lesson as always, drinking always wins out. 

Girls in Club Wear - To a lesser extent this applies to guys as well, though typical guy club wear of some douchey designer T-shirt will get you sent home in most places.  Girls can get by on the fringe a bit more.  You know the girls, clothes a bit too tight, too short, too revealing to be appropriate.  Other girls hate these girls, and the single alpha males of the office try to walk the fine line between sexual harrasment and harmless flirting (then there is always that creepy older guy trying to mix it up too...don't do that dude).  One of two things going on here, 1) This girl is a shoot off of fresh out of college girl, stubbornly trying to hold on to her party days and not blow the budget on two sets of wardrobes, or 2) They're not really interested in working here, just looking to catch the attention of an upper level manager and then quit to pursue their real passion, gold diggery and whoring. 

The Consumate Professional - Just a well dressed guy or gal.  Not much to say here, whether or not the person actually is professional on the job is another question,  but it really doesn't matter. They look like they fit in, and for the most part thats all that counts.

The Slacker - Likes to push the casual level without really dipping too far into our next category (we'll get there in a minute).  Matches the professionals when necessary but shies away from kissing too much corporate ass by pushing the limits other days.  Typically can be found with the occasional untucked shirt, frayed or faded jeans when the company says only clean blue jeans with no signs of wear, shirts not quite buttoned to the top, or at all in the case of polos, maybe a few wrinkles here and there, wouldn't want to give the impression that he knows how to work an iron or anything.  Also easily identified by the unorganized and messy cube, or as the guy blogging from his cube at work.  It may be a double standard but there just aren't many girls that can pull this category off, they tend to end up looking like...

The Scrub - You pushed it a bit too far.  Stains, overly baggy clothing, just an all out haggard appearance.  Shoes with holes in the soles, brown belts with black pants, black belts with brown shoes, you name it.  Girls who decide its ok for them to wear T-shirts because they can get away with anything, and $1.99 flip-flops from Old Navy.  At least give some kind of effort here.

Thats all for today, Happy Turkey Day, check back Friday if you're as unfortunate as myself and have to work...or check back from home I guess if you really like the site (Though that sounds fairly unrealistic).

TSA Pops Urine Bag

NPR - During a pat-down by Transportation Security Administration personnel at the airport, Sawyer's urostomy bag opened. As the Detroit News writes, that "caused his urine bag to leak onto his clothing." Sawyer couldn't change until after his flight to Orlando.

I've been avoiding posting about the TSA as much as possible. I think its a ridiculous topic and am slowly coming to the realization that this country is far too prudish.  Just walk through the scanners people, not a big deal and much better than being raped by a minimum wage worker.   This story caught my eye though.  

Yes I feel bad for all parties involved, this poor guy had to sit on a plane covered in urine, a situation we're not supposed to have to deal with once we're past the age of infancy.  And this poor TSA agent is being overlooked as well. Having to feel peoples pee bags and God knows what else through out the day.  It's probably hard enough grabbing another mans junk or groping all the overweight/obese people we have in this country, never mind soiling your hands in the process.  I certainly couldn't do it.  

But here is my question on the whole matter.  Why was this guy thinking he was going to be allowed to wear his bag of urine on the plane when I can't sneak a bottle of Poland Springs water through a security checkpoint without getting my name thrown on the no-fly list?  

I literally watched one of my roommates be sexually assaulted at a check point because he had a bottle of water in his pocket and a belt buckle that couldn't be removed from his shorts (thus setting off the medal detector).  He was already a sun burned irishmen but his face hit a whole new level of crimson during these proceedings.  Are you telling me that his bottle of poland spring and brass belt buckle were more of a threat than yellow/orange tinged (I don't know how hydrated this guy keeps himself) bag of liquid strapped to some guys stomach?  I'm giving the bottle of water the benefit of the doubt most days of the week, not the bag of "piss."  Just opening up a whole new door for any terrorist with a doctors note if you ask me (not that anyone is asking me).

Rescue Attempt Goes Horribly Wrong (FW to 1 minute mark)

Rescue Attempt Fail - Watch more Funny Videos

Hey, thanks for coming out guys, but I think they could have handled it better themselves.  I guess thanks for breaking their fall though?

They couldn't have possibly bungled the rescue attempt this badly, so was this a real emergency? Or were they making a modern day silent movie spoof?  I feel like I've seen this before, black and white, grainy image, bunch of fireman running around frantically but not really accomplishing anything. Two helpless people hanging from the side of a burning building (one appears to be naked fwiw).  When the firemen finally get their shit together hilariousness ensues as they fall like dominoes.  Looked more like an old Charlie Chaplin era comedy movie or one of those old Mickey Mouse cartoons, I was half expecting them to bring out a trampoline shaped canvas for them to drop down on to, only to find out that under the canvas is a big tub of whipped cream. I swear those two idiots were laughing at the end while they were rolling on the ground together too.  Nope, can't pull this one over on me, this has to be fake. 

PS: If it was a real emergency, why was the guy with the cellphone camera recording this and not evacuating. Dude, there is a fire right next door to your apartment, you might want to put down the flip phone and get the hell out.

A Worthy Cause

This Holiday Season please visit Keep Lebron Out.  Follow the page instructions to vote early and often and vote for anyone but Lebron at the forward position.  Sure he's still a talented player, but he's also a Grade-A Douche-Lord, and that is not the kind of behavior we as a society should be rewarding and celebrating this holiday season.  So please, in the spirit of giving and kindness, vote to Keep Lebron Out (in case the instruction page disappears please vote at the NBA's site for all-star balloting.